Simple Writing Tips for the Average Writer
"I worked a customer service job for 10 years" is the most sympathetic motivation for genocide
All sex scenes must include a harmonica solo. Trust me, it's very important.
Babies are adorable. More babies even more so. Therefore you should strive to emulate Baby Geniuses.

Or I might just be feeling maternal... Let me get back to you on that
The best way to get a book published is to already have an audience.

Try being a YouTuber, there's only a mild risk of stress induced depression and cardiac arrest.
Seriously, harmonica solo. Try it.

I don't have a problem, fuck you.
A great way to beat writer's block is to drink two glasses of water and then chug an entire container of black pepper to jumpstart your brain.

EDIT: DO NOT DO THIS
Villains are popular. Fill your story only with villains and no good guys anywhere. Just suave, charismatic monsters as far as the eye can see. And even a few feral ones too.
No matter how ridiculous, insane, impossible to understand or cringy your story is, there's someone out there who wants to read it.

It's me, I'm that person.
Blizzard Entertainment made billions of dollars off the idea "What of Satan was purple?" So clearly all bets are off for character design.
Of you get called out for being racist, the best thing to do is yodel at the top of your voice. This will make you seem tough, and will intimidate hecklers.
If you're having trouble finishing your novel, have you considered that you might just be a failure? Have you tried digging a hole and crying in it?

It's great, would recommend it.
The best way to redeem a villain is mind control
Reminder, take chicken out of the freezer
So... How bout that harmonica solo?

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More from @lilian_orchard

6 Dec 20
Over the last three years I've come to the realization that all I'm interested in as a Youtuber is making a living. I'm not interested in constant growth, I'm not interested in building a business or getting deals, I just want to get by.
I've always held the goal that if one of my revenue streams (Ad Revenue or Patron) consistently broke 50k a year, I'd flat out disable the other. Either go ad free or delete Patreon.
I've never been all that interested in joining communities or cranking up the production value. This is my job. It's how I pay to do the things I love to do, but the two are very seperate.
Read 16 tweets
27 Nov 20
Writing the In A Minute for Revenge of the Sith. Gonna be livetweeting just like I did for Attack of the Clones since people got a giggle out of it.
Fucking 12 years later and I still go "This is the crawl! Crawl! Opening crawl!"
Okay... I never appreciated before just how big those fucking cruisers are.
Read 69 tweets

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