take a wild trip with me. I want to go step by step through how a right wing narrative is engineered from embryo to playground. c’mon it’ll be fun! <it won’t be fun>
so about two weeks ago, bill anderson, owner of dale’s diner in waterville, ohio, gets a micro-burst of stories in the news on his diner’s pending closure; three different headline variants through the same outlet
now bill anderson is not just “a dude”. he’s an ex-corporate executive from a family in a long line of ohio agriculture & industry magnates.
bill also owns a second restaurant -dale’s bar & grill- in maumee, ohio
now there’s nothing wrong with any of this so far. lots of good people lost countless businesses in the last year and we should rightfully be both angry and sympathetic about that. but that sentiment is powerful, and attracts vultures
because in addition to not revealing that bill anderson is not just some random dude who got hammered by covid, what they don’t tell you is bill enjoyed turning his restaurants into covid petri dishes
bill also thinks the covid death count is faked
so, ok, fine, some local news shop fell for the “poor small business owner down on his luck” gag, it happens all the time. no big deal. but yesterday, two weeks later, bill’s tale of self-inflicted woe gets a second wind in the dispatch
yet again, the “who is bill anderson and what has he done to get here” element of bill’s story is mysteriously absent. bill blames stimulus payments for his downfall and not, you know, paying $11 an hour to bus tables inside a virus arboretum.
bill really, really, really wants us to know that the root cause of this tragedy is unemployment benefits & a $1400 stimulus
and as it always does, the dispatch story bleeds into the right wing ecosystem and is picked up by the nuttier fringe sites, where it continues to blossom into a cause cé·lè·bre. joe biden is ruining the little guy & his mom & pop shops!
A CONSEQUENCE OF GOVERNMENT COVID RELIEF CHECKS SWEET JESUS HAVE MERCY THE SOCIALISTS ARE AT IT AGAIN
ok so what, big deal, another outlet took the bait on poor regular ol’ bill. it happens, what are you gonna do, like, google the guy??? but see if you can guess what happens the next day
TA-DAAAAAA! (you totally guessed this, didn’t you, you jerk)
well at least it is not being repeated by actual congress people yet but ah you already saw this coming, didn’t you
and that’s how a dude who spent the last year trying to poison his woefully underpaid workers with a virus by purposefully violating basic safety measures turns “no one will work for me because I’m a crazy entitled dickhead” into “joe biden ruined my teeny tiny poor business”
and that’s how the gop media machine launders some random aristocrat from ohio into a policy platform of “government aid wrecks mom & pop”
wrapping up here, it took me maybe ten minutes of googling yesterday to unwind this whole thing. ten minutes. at any point along the way, any node of the right wing media system that adopted bill as their new pet cause could’ve just googled the guy. but that would ruin the fun.
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what actually happens is twitter takes the final jump from marginally useful platform with okay enough signposts to pointless platform littered with imposters and bad vibes nobody wants to use anymore
this is why it’s so damn funny catturd is whining incessantly about engagement: he thinks he’s being throttled by a boogeyman algorithm but what actually happened is he peaked, people got bored and left, and you can’t squeeze more clickjuice out of this rotten lemon
the network effects that lock people into the ecosystem are the same network effects that drive engagement stagnation once enough people have had enough of your shit and nobody new is coming along because the network is too fucking convoluted to put in the work to get inside
just impossibly funny to me that these goons keep blaming “the algorithm” for lack of engagement when it is gallingly apparent to anyone who’s been here a while that the problem is twitter has no juice left. the vibes are rotten. the platform doesn’t buzz anymore.
everyone knows who everyone is and hates everyone. they don’t engage because they know you suck ass or they blocked you. nobody new shows up because the place is impossible to navigate and no one is stupid enough anymore to trust fresh low follower accounts. it rules, really
the worse this gets the more I wonder what he even wants these gigs for, he could toss off all responsibility, be rich af, get a lifetime appointment on fox news shitting on this or that woke thing, probably get his own shark tank show for dipshits peddling freedom phones
he’s clearly entered the realm of “has zero interest in being in charge other than to say he’s in charge”, it seems like it would be way more fun for him to just be the worlds foremost full time culture war goblin you cannot evade on any media for longer than five seconds
and yeah this was absolutely trump’s wheelhouse until he pulled an oopsie I did a coup attempt, but that means the wheelhouse is wide open and frankly elon would be a lot better at it than he is at running any company