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Vagina Museum Profile picture
@vagina_museum
Apr 23, 2021 • 7 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
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HAPPY SHAKESPEARE'S BIRTHDAY! Here at the VM, we love a good pun, but Will was the master of pussy puns. Today, we'd like to be the cool English teacher sitting backwards on the chair, and present to you an annotated guide to some of the Bard's best sneaked-in vagina jokes...
every actor lives for the day where they can play the Dane and flat-out scream the word CUNT on stage
the original "see you next tuesday" pun
if Much Ado was made today, there's a strong case to be made for calling it A Great Big Hoo-ha About Hoo-Ha
we're not sure if there's a world record for how many rude jokes you can get into one paragraph, but this is a contender, and we pity poor Mistress Quickly's vag.
Hamlet again, because you have to remember Hamlet was a young guy, and therefore somewhat preoccupied, and also the play is pretty long and depressing so you need to cheer it up in places
and finally, a sad one. even in one of the most tragic dramatic climaxes in the history of theatre, Will manages to get a vagina pun in there

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More from @vagina_museum

Vagina Museum Profile picture
Jun 5
It's been a while since we've shown you a weird fad in medieval Christian art, so here's one you might enjoy - Lactatio Bernardi: The Lactation of St Bernard. Illuminated manuscript page depicting a monk kneeling before a woman with a baby on a throne. One breast is bare and she is squirting milk into his mouth.
Now it's important to note that St Bernard of Clairvaux isn't the one doing the lactating. He's the kneeling guy. That's the Virgin Mary right there doing the lactating, with baby Jesus on her lap. Faded icon depicting Mary, crowned and throned, squirting breast milk in a kneeling priest's mouth.
Bernard of Clairvaux was a 12th century abbot and one of the founders of the Knights Templar. Here's a couple of depictions of him outside of the milky miracle.
A white robed priest standing over a red-robed devil chained to his crook. The devil is looking up at the priest and looks kind of into the whole thing.
The priest hugging a mostly-nude Jesus.
Read 11 tweets
Vagina Museum Profile picture
Mar 13
The Cholmondeley Ladies (circa 1600-1610) is a painting raising many questions. Today we're not going to talk about the puzzle in pegging down the identities of the women - we will focus on a different, more mundane puzzle...

Image courtesy of Tate Britain. Painting of two women holding babies lying side by side in bed. Both women wear grand attire with large, richly decorated collars. Each baby is wrapped in red. The women and babies look identical at first glance, but have subtle differences in the patterns on their clothing and eye colour. The poses are awkward and stiff.
The Cholmondeley Ladies painting is accompanied by an inscription, which says "Two Ladies of the Cholmondeley Family, Who were born the same day, Married the same day, And brought to Bed the same day."
Many scholars have explored the identities of these ladies, who are unknown, wondered who the unknown artist who painted it was. Even the donor who gave the painting to the Tate is anonymous.
Read 13 tweets
Vagina Museum Profile picture
Feb 7
A hundred years ago, there was a research centre, archive, clinic and museum space dedicated to sexuality whose work might seem ahead of its time, even now.

This is the story of Magnus Hirschfeld's Institute of Sexology #LGBTHistoryMonth
Founder of the Institute of Sexology Magnus Hirschfeld was a German Jewish gay man, a qualified doctor. Born in 1868, Hirschfeld's interest in using his skills to advocate for LGBT+ rights was sparked when he noticed many of his gay patients were dying by suicide.
In the late 19th century, Hirschfeld began researching sex and sexuality across cultures. He was especially interested in homosexuality in his early research.
Read 27 tweets
Vagina Museum Profile picture
Jan 22
Have you ever wondered what's going on in there during penis-in-vagina sex? Where do the pelvic organs go? What stretches where?

Scientists have. At length. And here's what they thought and how they finally found out.
One of the first scientists to take a guess at what's going on anatomically during PiV sex was Leonardo da Vinci himself, who drew this anatomically incorrect diagram in around 1493.

Image courtesy of the Royal Collection. Illustration of a couple in cross section engaged in penis in vagina sex. The woman is depicted as a headless torso. The penis enters the vagina. Above it is a vein leading to the woman's breasts.
You'll notice most of the pelvic organs on the woman are missing in da Vinci's diagram. You also may notice a weird vein leading up to the breasts. That's the vein that brings period blood up to the breasts to turn into milk. This is not how anything works.
Read 19 tweets
Vagina Museum Profile picture
Jan 16
Okay muff-lovers, you'll probably know the answer to this one. How many holes are there in the vulva?

The answer may surprise you. Yes, even you.
The hole you'll definitely know about if you follow us is the vaginal entrance, which leads to the vagina. That one's easy.
Next up - and not everybody knows this one - is the entrance to the urethra. Pee doesn't come out of the vagina, it comes out of the urethra. The urethra is positioned above the vagina and below the clitoral glans.
Read 16 tweets
Vagina Museum Profile picture
Dec 5, 2023
Reindeer are a little unusual among deer. In most species, only males grow antlers, but in reindeer, these big old head bones are a perfectly normal feature for females, too! And how and why they grow antlers is rather interesting...
Antlers in reindeer are deciduous. They're not a permanent fixture on the head of the animal, but rather, antlers grow and are cast in cycles.
In male reindeer, the antlers start growing in around April, and are shed in late December. In females, antlers grow in May, and are cast at around that time the next year.
Read 15 tweets

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