This is something I am still thinking about a lot. Because I say things like, “ha ha it’s cool I can manage it, it’s no biggie!” but also I failed out of college twice.
I’ve had to do a lot of thinking to get myself to the point where I can say, “yes, this thing that derails me occasionally for years at a time is in fact a form of disability.”
And it feels weird saying that to myself because I’m fine! I’m happy! I’m successful by any reasonable metric (which means I struggle with feeling like a failure, thanks brain).
This is still a new idea for me—the idea that it’s a disability for my brain to go on the fritz for months—and it sounds so obvious when I say it like that, but I am only now beginning to understand this.
And I’m 44.

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More from @courtneymilan

1 May
The problem with my brain is that when I see someone I’m not following who I swear I followed before, I never know if someone softblocked me, if I never followed them, or if it’s Twitter error.
Anyway, I really don’t mean to trample on a boundary anyone has set and I promise if you softblock me I won’t notice what’s happening for another eight months and then I’ll be like, “how am I not following ????? impossible.”
I might notice something is odd the ninth time it happens? But that’s like seven years from now and a problem for future us.
Read 5 tweets
29 Apr
Dear new followers, I hope none of you think that I am an anti-anti-racist account who hates foul language, because I am famous for getting ousted (temporarily) by my professional organization for calling a book with a half-Asian main character a “fucking racist mess.”
I write books, some of which have Asian main characters. Those main characters make sauce and/or launch events for smart watches and/or create telegraphic code for Chinese characters and/or study quantum computers and/or sell velocipedes.

They also bone.
TO BE FAIR Amelia not only creates telegraphic code for Chinese characters, she also invents internet for boats in 1870, a thing I insist must have been possible (for small subset of boats) based on actual literature.
Read 4 tweets
29 Apr
Hey there’s a teacher out there who is saying she got fired for teaching a poem about Asian American racism, and I don’t know all the facts, but I am a little wary of her account because she dodges a bad fact and that makes me uneasy.
She is teaching seventh graders, and the poem she taught includes this.

(cw asian racism, sex slaves) I mean, I get it, you don’t need Viagra, you can suck your
I don’t know the district policies on teaching language like this. I don’t know if the waiver she sent to parents included a warning sufficient for parents to know that this was on the syllabus.

So how I feel depends on those things.
Read 34 tweets
28 Apr
The thing that I find interesting about Yuzuru Hanyu’s sensor-based AI thesis is that he’s proposed a form of AI judging that need not be dependent on the ISU to implement.
I mean, sure, he can’t force the ISU to take sensor measurement into account. But literally nothing is stopping him from wearing the sensors himself in competition and then dumping the data afterwards to compare to scoring.
And here’s the thing—if he does this prior to the Olympics, if multiple skaters who are underscored (Sui/Han, Rika, Kaori) wear the sensors, it poses a serious threat to the legitimacy of ISU judging.
Read 11 tweets
28 Apr
I need to clean up the living room but do not want to, and so it has not yet happened.
It is somewhat tidier? I am trying to decide if it meets minimum standards yet.
... okay, I’m setting a timer for ten minutes and what gets done then will be IT.
Read 4 tweets

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