Yet another month on Twitter has passed and oh boy what a doozy it has been. April has seen more discourses than ever before, but somehow I whittled them down to only 32. As always, they face off for your amusement. The Voting Begins Now.

NYPD posts an obviously fake video claiming to show a random black man tap a detective on the back of his head with a stick in broad daylight in order to claim crime is rampant
"Kurt Cobain would've loved NFTs because they're all about sticking it to the man"
Human Pet Guy suggests moving the Ka'aba from Mecca to the British Museum, but "you'd have to move it between prayer times, or Muslims would have to swivel"
"Chairman Xi killed George Floyd with fentanyl, then used AI to turn Americans against each other" ~Harvard Nerd
Michael Tracey says its bad to celebrate Derek Chauvin going to prison
Merrick evolves her old take with a meme claiming she wants to give "mandatory sexual mutual aid", which uh...is just called rape
"PAWG is Racist"
Aimee Terese somehow gets her account back; immediately calls George Floyd a liberal conspiracy to fund anarchists to burn down infrastructure
Teens think that education is oppression that must be abolished & call those who disagree "school-cucks"
JD Vance - "Universal Healthcare is class war against normal people"
John Lennon (Yes, THAT one) tweets about how therapy helped him realize that G-d is a lie, despite having been dead for over 40 years
"When you post your vaccine card you are slapping Holocaust survivors in the face" (Account banned for this discourse)
Calling it Palestine is "Deadnaming" Israel
Youtuber Gabbie Hannah posts an underwear photo with the caption "I could fuck both your parents and the one person on earth that you love, but I choose not to"
Feminista Jones says "Black Marxists don't make sense" because "Marx was racist", & "that's sociology 101"; briefly deletes her account in backlash
Caitlyn Jenner announces run for CA Governor on platform of ending COVID restrictions
Breadtuber SocialismDoneLeft outed as racist anti-semitic race play fetishist trust fund private-school kid of weapons manufacturer; Merrick melts down defending him.
Androgyny destroys horniness because "when the sexes blend, otherness is negated, and there's no Eros in that"
Podcaster freaks out at Kraft Mayo ad about "mayophobia", threatens to "fuck them up"; calls mayo a "child killing product" & "Satan's Jizz"
Men should be banned from being Instacart shoppers - women complain their personal shopping servants are making mistakes
"I love Disney World, but Wokeness is ruining the experience" - Orlando Sentinel Op-Ed complains employees can have tattoos and rides renovated to remove racism and rape
Turkish Nationalists freak out in Joe Biden's comments in response to him recognizing Armenian Genocide.
Conservatives convince themselves that Biden's climate plan will make it illegal to eat more than one hamburger a month
UK TERFs get mad at Detransition, Baby for being shortlisted for Women's Prize; write open letter about sissy porn & sign it with dead female authors' names
"Most survivors of the Holocaust are vegan because they knew what it felt like to be treated like an animal"
Clocks are Capitalist and abolishing capitalism means abolishing the concept of minutes and the day/night cycle
Conspiracy Theorist Nick Fuentes responds to being put on federal no-fly list by saying he's more oppressed than Rosa Parks because "at least she was allowed on the bus"
A person with ACAB in their bio says "ACAB doesn't mean ever single cop"
Glenn Greenwald defends Matt Gaetz with the ol' "actually its ephebophilia not pedophilia" defense
"Cis people putting their pronouns in their bio is cultural appropriation"
Ben Shapiro encourages people to buy from Home Depot for political reasons, leaves the store with a single plank of wood in a plastic bag
"Rich designer babies will create more smart people who can solve the world's problems"

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More from @comedyunism

5 Feb
Meet Rae McDaniel, the person behind GenderFck. They’re a licensed therapist charging baby transes $100/mo to join their trans club, yet they say that joining the club won’t make you their client. That means no obligation to confidentiality and no ban on them hitting on members. Image
To be clear, I’m not saying that this person WILL do any of these things or even is conscious of what they’re doing in the way they’re setting this up. But by explicitly saying that you’re not their client, they give themselves a lot of leeway and not a lot of accountability.
The fact is that the average person coming out will see this, see that they are a licensed therapist, and assume that makes them a client. Even explicitly saying “I’m not your therapist”, doesn’t make it clear to the layman that they don’t have confidentiality obligations then.
Read 5 tweets
26 Dec 20

Its been one hell of a year for terrible internet discourse. I've chosen 16 to go head to head to "definitively" determine the WORST DISCOURSE OF 2020. There will be 1 round each day, with 24 hours to vote.

Today, Round 1:
[1] Sexual Mutual Aid
[16] Graham Linehan "Queer Studies is Grooming"
[2] Plandemic (All COVID conspiracy theories)
[15] How can you live without Bodegas?
Read 31 tweets
28 Apr 20
Things Americans are told about North Korea that actually describe the United States. A Thread:
North Koreans worship their founder, Kim Il-Sung as an eternal god-like figure Image
North Korean "elections" are a sham where people are only given one choice of who to vote for. Image
Read 14 tweets

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