1/ Sunday thoughts (many topics incl pardon info). From the moment of my arrest in 2008, I began thinking about clearing my name. I remember when the officer took my belt and shoelaces for fear I might harm myself & I thought to myself "no way am I going out now-this humiliating
2/ moment can't be the end of my story. I have to figure out how to fix this." I was fortunate in that I was able to get out that night and never spent an evening in jail or prison. That weekend, I moved out of the house I owned with my then-wife and back in with my parents.
3/ My father, too, was very concerned -- I remember him hiding their pills. He'd ask me " do I have to worry?" I was at the lowest point in my life but I intended to face whatever was to come next. There were 2 years between my arrest and conviction. During that time, I wrote
4/ every day. I basically kept a journal that I thought one day I might publish. I shared the "book" with my current wife soon after I met her in 2009 and it helped her to understand what had happened - but I never attempted to publish it and have no intentions of ever doing so.
5/ But the working title was "Pardon Me?!" I took therapy seriously right away to figure out why I did what I did -- and made changes. In therapy, we only needed to address sex stuff a little bit because that wasn't the root cause. For me, it was stress and numbing myself
6/ to avoid dealing with stressful situations. Beside therapy, I sought guidance in my faith. A Rabbi suggested I volunteer - and I looked for opportunities even while I was looking for employment. The week after I was arrested, I went and picked squash with a group called
7/ FoodShare. My volunteer efforts with groups over the years evolved...and sometimes I was asked not to volunteer because of my conviction. I was with FoodShare looking to increase my volunteering when they told me that I was no longer welcome because of my prior offense.
8/ I volunteered with an organization that was looking to help people find employment during the Great Recession - the same Rabbi had recommended me to lead the effort. I went to a meeting but then was told I couldn't volunteer because of my offense. And time went on.
9/ I volunteer (and still volunteer) with a group that helps people start or grow their small businesses. I became very active in the synagogue. After probation ended, I joined the board - and was asked to be President of the Board. I was very good at the role despite the
10/ moral panic that happened a year later. You see, I was (and am) sincere in my desire to help people. I brought compassion and empathy to every role and I work hard. I became a more authentic, sincere person along the way. What you see is what you get.
11/ While on Probation, I wrote a treatment workbook for people going through what I had gone through. Everything I saw at the time was about what you shouldn't do... but I wrote about what you should. I think it was a pretty decent resource. Definitely therapeutic for me to
12/ write. But, I never found anyone who wanted to publish it. So, it sits as a PDF on my hard drive. I worked on all of the relationships in my life....my kids, parents, wife, ex-wife, sister, co-workers, fellow advocates, friends. So - all was positive.
13/ I took responsibility for what I did right away. I got involved in advocacy after the moral panic at the Temple - and I do my best to help others be the best they can be. At work, I was instrumental in creating a collaborative culture. I guess I was able to
14/ express enough of that to the pardon board and they deemed me worthy. I recognize that I come from a place of privilege. If I was focused on getting basic needs met - like housing or food, I wouldn't have been able to do as much volunteering. So, I am very grateful that I
15/ had opportunities. Those opportunities shouldn't only go to the privileged! So -- the pardon was granted and I received a letter saying "you are now legally able to truthfully state you have never been arrested or convicted of a crime in the state of Connecticut"
16/ Yesterday, I filed out a form asking if I had every been convicted of a felony -- and I checked "no." While that it legally true, the actual truth is that I was - and that it changed me for the better. The pardon wiped it - erased it and gave me a chance to start with a
17/ clean slate. We hear a lot about clean slate these days. But while my slate is clean, my history is more complex, more real. My past actions don't define who I am today, but they set me on a journey to become a better version of myself. So - while saying "no"
18/ may have helped me on that application I had to fill out, it does nothing for my day to day interactions. I won't erase the past -- I have learned so much along the way. I didn't change my name when it was suggested to me - I didn't move from the community. I am done running
19/ away from myself. I am who I am.....and I like me. If you like me too, that's awesome. If you don't, that says more about you than about me. We need to recognize that everyone has potential to lead positive lives- some just need more help to get there.
20/ Let's stop the cycle of harm and start helping people live to their true potential. Life is way too short -- especially when you can lose an entire year to something like a a pandemic. #IAmHuman

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More from @endtheregistry

1 May
1/ So much is presented as a choice: you can only show support for victims and survivors if you completely cancel and destroy the people who caused harm? Why?
2/ I hear “we need to center the victim.” We need to help the victims heal—ABSOLUTELY! But we approach the process in a way that perpetuates harm-it simple pushes the harm to someone else.
3/ Every case is unique and every person is at a different phase in the journey. Who are we to judge? Sure, we need to make it clear what behavior we deem to be unacceptable in society-and then we need to make room for healing. For restoration. For redemption.
Read 5 tweets
24 Feb
.@amberspeaksup and I learned about Carol from an article she had written last year. She agreed to be a guest on #AmplifiedVoices. Listen to our conversation amplifiedvoices.buzzsprout.com/1213727/801850…
You can also find the episode on your favorite apps like Spotify and Apple Podcast and at amplifiedvoices.show.
Here’s the article that introduced us to Carol. themarshallproject.org/2019/09/13/whe…
Read 6 tweets
24 Feb
1/ For a professional, collateral consequences can include being tossed out of networking groups which contributes to making it impossible to get a job in your field. I was kicked out of a group called The Financial Executives Networking Group.
2/ Before my arrest, I had helped a number of members. But, a few years after, my membership was revoked. I took it as another loss and never tried to reach back out. I wasn’t ready to advocate for anyone, let alone myself. But,
3/ a number of years have passed and I sent an email to the president of the organization today. I explained that I wasn’t writing for me, but for others. I explained recidivism rates and I talked about all of the good things I had done.
Read 8 tweets
23 Feb
1/ .@abfrankel and .@JoshuaBHoe's conversation on probation gave me some flashbacks. Here's one I never shared. There would random drug checks at probation check-in. Keep in mind that substance abuse was never part of my history and there was no reason to think I would
2/ all of a sudden start using. But, I was still required to pee in a cup. If I showed up for my visit and I couldn't urinate on demand, I would be told to drink water and wait in the waiting room -- not just until I could go, sometimes for hours. That was a huge price to pay
3/ for the crime of coming to a visit with an empty bladder. But, here's the thing. Sometimes, you'd have to wait for an hour or two to be seen in the first place AND there was no guarantee of a urine test. So, many times, I'd sit with in the waiting room with the discomfort of
Read 5 tweets
19 Sep 20
1of16/ As .@G_Padraic noted, #RBG wrote dissent to the judgment that declared that registries aren't punitive. Below, I captured her dissent without all of the citations and extra legalese. I also took out the specific case referenced. What's left is a beautiful, stunning read.
2/ It is unclear whether the Alaska Legislature conceived of the State’s Sex Offender Registration Act as a regulatory measure or as dissenting penal law. Accordingly, in resolving whether the Act ranks as penal for ex post facto purposes, I would not demand “the clearest proof”
3/ that the statute is in effect criminal rather than civil. Instead, I would neutrally evaluate the Act’s purpose and effects. I would hold Alaska’s Act punitive in effect. Beyond doubt, the Act involves an “affirmative disability or restraint.”
Read 17 tweets
20 Jan 20
Thread 1/I’ve been on my state's Sex Offense Registry for 9 ½ years. I was placed on it for ten years, so I am scheduled to be removed later this year, in July. If we truly believe that the registry alerts people to danger (spoiler alert: it doesn’t), then it’s interesting
2/that at the beginning of the summer, I’m considered a threat to public safety, but by the end of the summer, I’m miraculously transformed.

In reality, the entire time I’ve been on the registry, I haven’t been a threat. It’s true I committed an offense in 2008. I was guilty
3/and I take responsibility for it. The moment I was arrested, I started a journey of self-discovery to determine why I would cross a societal boundary I knew was wrong. I studied, I read, I met with a therapist, I met with more than one rabbi, I meditated, I wrote, and I
Read 12 tweets

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