marginalized folks have every right to cut out those who harm them, even if it's only once, even if it's unintentional.
marginalized folks are bombarded with microaggressions every day, and many face macroaggressions daily or near daily (especially when we are visible, be it willingly or not). we're allowed to create our own safe spaces.
I've cut people out of my life for other reasons because our relationship was causing me more and more harm. there was never malicious intent on the other person's part, but it was nevertheless a toxic relationship. I made a choice to walk away for my own emotional wellbeing.
tw // misgendering
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I have coworkers who took a horrendously long time to stop constantly misgendering me (and were still screwing up after 2 years of working with them). I would've cut them out if not for the fact I still work with them (from afar thankfully).
what people fail to understand is that microaggressions are acts of violence, and acts of violence do not have to have malicious intent behind them to be violent. in fact I'd say microaggressions are more often that not unintentional. but they still cause harm.
if you run into me and cause me to fall down, no one's going to argue with the fact that you caused me harm.

microaggressions are the emotional version of people running into a marginalized person. some are uncomfortable bumps, some send you sprawling.
isn't it reasonable to avoid crossing paths with people who are running into me? isn't it reasonable for me to circumnavigate them?
to say our choice to avoid these people and the violence they have enacted upon us—intentional or unintentional—is an overreaction is gaslighting. to excuse the violence and demand we let it slide for any reason rather than protect ourselves is apologist behavior.
and if the violence is due to a legitimate mistake, or because the perpetrator is disabled, guess what?

we have still been subjected to violence. maybe we'll recognize there was no malicious intent, but we still have a right to actively avoid future violence.
you can't excuse impact with intent. you can apologize (and I highly recommend doing so, but only if you aren't going to half-ass it). however, you cannot erase the harm you have already inflicted. you can't turn back the clock. people have a right to safeguard themselves.

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More from @tripleAqueer

3 May
tw // ableism

requiring or putting a lot of stock into comps is also ableist, and not just b/c there's a dearth of compable rep.

one big reason I struggle to find comps actually ties into the fact there aren't many compable queer books: I think very literally.
ex. something I default to in my early drafts as I'm focused on fleshing the story out is write actions almost like stage directions. (stood up, walked over to the door, opened the door, etc.) I recognize this in my writing and hey that's what editing is for, but it's so hard.
another thing is that I come up with metaphors that seem neat at first but then I overanalyze and quickly start doubting it actually makes sense. because overly literally thinking.
Read 7 tweets
3 May
tw // BLERFs, exorsexism
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mono lesbians claim non-lesbians shouldn’t have a say when it comes to discussing the validity of bi/pan/mspec lesbian/gay identities. they’re not only wrong b/c it very much affects non-lesbian nonbinary people, but they’re hypocritical.

1/ 2 tweets by a user but the name & handle are redacted  1: @t
tw // BLERFs, exorsexism
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let’s talk hypocrisy first.

if mono lesbians actually wanted the conversation to stay strictly among lesbians, they’d tell their non-lesbian allies to be quiet during ~disk horse~. instead, they only tell mspec lesbians’ allies to shut up

2/
tw // BLERFs, exorsexism
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okay moving onto the bigger shit:

this ~disk horse~ affects non-lesbian nonbinary people. disregarding how we feel when we’re lumped into mono labels is incredibly exorsexist. you’re talking over us on something that DOES impact us.

3/
Read 15 tweets
3 May
“my child is neurotypical”

your child is relieved and elated tone indicators exist
(it’s me.)
format credit goes to @chaoticgaythey
Read 5 tweets
3 May
see Jules' replies. they acknowledge there are differences in stigma and obstacles, but there are still very much stigma and obstacles in getting treatment, accommodations, accessibility, etc. for physical illness/disability as there are for mental illness/psychiatric disability.
it took almost 16 years for a severe pain issue to be diagnosed and another year before it was properly treated. and I was fortunate and privileged. I found an amazing doctor, I had insurance, and I'm white.
Read 5 tweets
3 May
"nonbinary people are inherently included in all orientations" is a bad fvcking take and makes me incredibly uncomfortable
this isn't about saying someone is using the "wrong" orientation label if they're attracted to only men OR women, and nonbinary folks in addition to one of those. I am not label-policing.
but like, saying nonbinary folks are always included in monosexual attraction across the board makes me incredibly nervous, especially since exorsexism is so prevalent among monosexuals (mostly cis monosexuals, but some trans monosexuals as well).
Read 16 tweets
3 May
imagine having the privilege of "just enjoying your tween years" 🥲
like did I exist as a tween on a physical level and environmental level? yes. did I experience those years as myself? abso-fvcking-lutely not.
I wasn't "into politics" at the time (though if I was a tween today I imagine I might be, but this was before /myspace/ let alone twitter and I do have the privilege of being white).

but uhhhh
Read 14 tweets

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