Alf Landon is available for weddings, birthday parties and car wash openings to tell you how he really won the election of 1936 against FDR.
I won the ’36 election against FDR. By a lot. They’re finding new lost ballots in New York State all the time. It was fraud. A rigged election, and everybody knows it. 
Opening acts for the former President at his early-bird-dinner performance tonight should be Joey Heatherton, Tiny Tim and Charo.
Brought to you by Serutan.
And Lawrence Welk for Geritol:
On his ABC show, 1969, the uproarious Lawrence Welk shows what he thinks of the Beatles and the Monkees:
Also brought to you by Goya Ham Flavored Concentrate:
And — by Camels: “More Doctors Smoke Camels than any other cigarette”:
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