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3 May, 186 tweets, 32 min read
yoonmin au— spy family

for yoongi's new spy mission, he has to build a fake family. it's demanding, but everything seems to go smoothly. however, he hasn't realized that the boy he adopted and the man he agreed to be in a fake marriage with are a mind reader and an assassin.
art by the lovely @hanabiii_twt
• don’t expect a serious spy/assassin plotline; this is just funny domestic fluff with two people who don’t know how to act normal
• fake marriage. mutual pining
• baby jungkook!!!
• based on manga spy family!! go read it!! now!!
• this is a commission out of my au ideas.
“Daddy!” Jungkook shrieks as soon as Yoongi opens his eyes. For a second, Yoongi thinks he’s still dreaming. He hasn’t gotten used to seeing a child on his face the moment he wakes up yet. Jungkook seems to have gotten used to having a new daddy, though. "Are you awake?"
“Can you get me peanuts, daddy? The ones covered in chocolate!” Yoongi groans and tries to hide from Jungkook’s bunny teeth and tiny fists, but his own eyes dramatically widen when he notices he has fallen asleep in the living room and Jungkook had just climbed on his body.
Of course, as a spy, Yoongi needs to be more alert about this kind of situation, and he can't fall asleep at any moment without being aware of his surroundings. So how did he not notice a tiny child had climbed on him?

Well, after playing with Jungkook all day, he was tired.
Being a father is tiring, and it’s not something Yoongi ever expected to do in his spy life. He's gone undercover before, many times, but it's his first time pretending to be a parent. “Peanuts, daddy?” Jungkook repeats.

Yoongi yawns, but he nods. "Yeah, peanuts, little one."
He wraps his hands around Jungkook’s middle and carries him in one swift motion, making the child laugh and cling onto Yoongi's neck. He likes when Yoongi does that, and Yoongi is a good spy; he'll play the father role accordingly. “Okay, let’s get changed first.”

Jungkook is not actually Yoongi’s child; they adopted him for Yoongi’s current mission. Yoongi has to engage with a man that never leaves his house except for his kids' private school meetings. So, now Yoongi is a father, and his son will go to that same school.
Jungkook and Yoongi got along well since they met, and even if demanding, Yoongi thinks they can work together. But as they walk to the store, hand in hand, Yoongi feels people's eyes on them; and he remembers there's something he has to solve: Yoongi also needs a husband.
And later that night, while Jungkook is sleeping in his room, Yoongi is with Jungkook’s (undercover) babysitter, Hoseok, discussing it. “Why can’t I marry some other spy?” Yoongi whines.

Hoseok glances at the phone on the table, where they can hear their (spy) boss sighing.
“We need someone, a common person, to stay with the child when you finish the mission,” Seokjin, the boss, reminds him. “What will happen to the kid if two spies leave him alone once the mission is over? After we've used him?” Yoongi looks around his (fake) home and sighs.
Yoongi thinks of Jungkook’s wide eyes and feels a pang on his heart at the thought of Jungkook by himself, confused as to why Yoongi left after adopting him, but he tries to ignore that scenario. Yoongi only nods, and he browses at the papers Hoseok has prepared for him.
“These are all the gay men in the area?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok nods.

“And I have to convince one of these men to marry me, so he becomes Jungkook's legal guardian while I work on the undercover mission?” Yoongi scoffs at the absurdity of it all. Seokjin agrees through video chat.
Hoseok offers him a thumbs up, but Yoongi rolls his eyes. “This is not going to work."

“You’ve seduced people before, for other cases.” Seokjin counters. It's true, but Yoongi sighs again because those are not the most enjoyable missions, and he shuffles through the pictures.
He sees a fluff of pink hair between many photos, and he smiles to himself before flicking through the options. He might not be excited about the idea, but at least there are cute men to choose from in the area.

Yoongi has to be professional about this. He'll get a husband.
Almost a week later, Yoongi and Jungkook go to the tailor shop so they can fix Jungkook’s school uniform before classes start. Jungkook is getting his measurements when Yoongi sees a pretty man waiting by the counter. Yoongi remembers him from the list, so he pays attention.
Yoongi should try to make a move since the opportunity has arisen. Yoongi thought he was one of the prettiest men on the list, but somehow he’s even more stunning in person. Yoongi tries to remember- Park Jimin, twenty-seven, works at the city hall. An orphan, like Jungkook-.
That works. Park Jimin is a lonely person, and he could feel empathy for Jungkook and wouldn't leave Jungkook even after Yoongi is long gone. So Yoongi should try to approach him, and talk to him, maybe flirt a bit, but he needs to be cautious. Park Jimin has to find it natural.
Yoongi focuses again on Jungkook; having a kid has made him considerably more attractive to strangers eyes in the last couple of weeks. Jungkook might do the trick here. The tiny kid is looking at Yoongi with wide eyes. It seems as if he’s trying to scan Yoongi’s brain.
After a long second of staring, Jungkook scrunches his face, and he starts bawling all of a sudden. Yoongi worries at the weird reaction; he never knows how the child is going to behave. Yoongi crouches so they can be the same height. “Hey, hey, little one, what happened?"
“I want to have another daddy!” Jungkook yells. The people from the tailor shop glance at Yoongi with judgmental eyes.

“What are you talking about, bun? You don’t like daddy?” Yoongi chuckles nervously. He needs to keep up the act of a good father in front of strangers.
But Jungkook is acting odd. Again. “No! I love daddy! I love daddy so much because he's so good! But I want another daddy that gets along with my daddy!” Jungkook sobs, and Yoongi squints his eyes. He's the weirdest kid. “I want two daddies!” Jungkook bawls, and Yoongi sighs.
What’s gotten with him today?

"Hey, bun. What are you talking about?" Yoongi lifts a hand to pet Jungkook's hair and tries to calm him down, but before he can come up with something to say, Yoongi feels a person approaching them. He looks over his shoulder to find Park Jimin.
Yoongi wasn't wrong; the child did the trick. He's a magnet.

Park Jimin crouches in front of Jungkook before reaching for something inside the tote bag he’s carrying. “Here,” Park Jimin hands Jungkook a handkerchief. “I think your daddy didn’t bring something for your snot.”
Jungkook sniffs, and he receives the small piece of fabric, and then he loudly blows his nose on Jimin’s handkerchief. Yoongi and Jimin glance at each other for a brief second before looking away. "I'm sorry!" Jimin starts. "I shouldn't have intervened just like that!"
"That was very rude of me!" Jimin says.

Yoongi can't believe his luck. This is the most appropriate meeting he could have expected. Yoongi searches for Jimin's eyes. "No, no, it's fine. You were right; I didn't bring anything for his snot." Jimin nods, and then Jungkook coughs.
Both of them look at the child, and Jungkook is no longer crying. He tries to hand Jimin the snotty handkerchief. "Thank you."

Yoongi stops the interaction, circling his hand around Jungkook’s tiny wrist. “It's dirty; you don't need to take it back. Sorry, he’s a little weird.”
Jimin giggles. “No, he’s just a cute boy.” Jungkook nods. For a second, Yoongi wonders how he stopped sobbing so quickly, but he has something more important to worry about at the moment.

“I can wash this at home and then give it back. So it's not dirty with my son's snot.”
Jimin stares at him and then laughs; a handsome smile stretches on his face. “Oh and how will you contact me to give it back?”

Yoongi smiles faintly. He's entering familiar territory; he can do this. “Perhaps we could meet in this same place?” Yoongi and Jimin look at each other
Jimin snorts, but he makes it look pretty. “Well, if you’re going to go through all that trouble for a dirty handkerchief, you might want my number and my name?”

Yoongi glances at Jungkook; the child is looking away. “Maybe. Would you like to give me your phone number and name?”
"I'm Park Jimin. I'm twenty-seven."

Yoongi nods, nothing he didn't know. "I'm Min Yoongi, and I'm thirty-one." Jimin nods and glances away, searching for his phone in his bag. Yoongi smiles to himself; that wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. Thanks to Jungkook.
Jungkook looks between them the moment Yoongi thinks about him. Then, before Jimin can say his number, he turns to Yoongi with a newfound intensity on his gaze. “You know, how do you feel about not dragging this too much and just going out this weekend?”

Yoongi's eyes widen.
He didn’t expect such effective results so soon. “What? You mean this weekend? Like a date?”

Yoongi's shock must be evident because Jimin covers his cheeks and then looks away. “Oh God, I must look so desperate right now.”

“No! No! It's fine. I’d like that. This weekend.”
Jimin puts his hands down, looks at Yoongi, and gulps. “Well, I’m glad because I am a little desperate.”

“Oh.” Yoongi thinks he’s a little desperate too, but he doesn't say anything. Jungkook looks at Yoongi and opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Jimin keeps talking.
“I’m not desperate to get a boyfriend or anything like that, though!”

“Boyfriend?” Yoongi likes the sound of that, but he would like ‘husband’ even better.

“Gah! I’m making this worse! You only asked for my phone number,” Jimin sighs. But he composes himself and faces Yoongi.
“I have a confession to make. I need a date for Saturday because there’s an event from my office. My brother’s friends will be there, and I want them to think I have a boyfriend. But I don't have many friends that I can ask for help." Yoongi nods, registering all information.
"The thing is, everyone at work is worried I’m going to be single forever since I don't go out much! So they want to pair me up with people, and it's getting tiring. But I also understand where they come from-” Yoongi chuckles at the rapid words coming from Jimin’s lips.
He’s a funny guy. And an honest one too. Yoongi doesn’t feel that good lying to this man and pretending to care about him when he knows he’ll have to leave once the mission ends. So instead, he decides to play with honesty while still keeping him in the dark about the situation.
“I have a confession to make, too,” Yoongi interrupts Jimin’s long rant.


Yoongi tries to offer his most charming smile. “I kind of need a fake boyfriend too.”

Jimin’s mouth falls open. “You’re joking.” Yoongi shakes his head. “You do? You really do?” Yoongi nods.
“Yeah. It’s a long story, and it has to do with him,” Yoongi glances at Jungkook. The little boy is -for some reason- nodding along. “But how about I tell you about it at that office event?”

“Huh,” Jimin giggles. “Well, how beneficial is that for us?”

Yoongi chuckles. “Yeah.”
Jungkook looks between the pretty stranger and his daddy as they smile at each other. He’s glad Park Jimin came over because daddy Yoongi thought he’s pretty. And if daddy Yoongi needs to find a husband for his spy work, Jungkook believes this man is nice. He's very pretty.
And daddy Yoongi thinks the same. He keeps thinking about how pretty Jimin's smile is and how pretty his eyes are. Maybe he'll fall in love with Jimin, and he will love their family so much, he won't leave Jungkook once the mission is over. Yes, Jungkook is sure that'll happen.
When Jungkook turns his attention to his potential daddy number two, he reads his thoughts. ‘This is so difficult! All my younger years wasted murdering people for a living; I don’t know how to behave with a handsome man!’

Jungkook’s eyes go wide, and he tugs at Yoongi's sleeve.
Yoongi turns to see Jungkook, and he smiles. "I'm sorry, Jimin ss and I are going to finish in a second. Wait for me a little longer?" Jungkook nods, but he still takes a step forward to hug Yoongi’s leg. “Daddy! Be careful!”

Jimin glances at him, and Yoongi laughs. “Okay.”
He can't say what he heard from Jimin's mind because then Yoongi will find out Jungkook can read minds, and he'll return Jungkook to the housing, and Jungkook doesn't want that. So he just keeps quiet and buries his face against Yoongi's dress pants. Daddy Yoongi smells nice.
But maybe, because Yoongi is a spy and Jimin seems to murder people, they'll get along! Jungkook thinks deeply about it when Jimin says goodbye and Yoongi carries him in his arms, wondering if everything is fine.

A spy and assassin would be the coolest parents for him.
Yoongi is late. They said they would meet up at seven o clock, and it’s eight and a half, and Jimin texted him several times, and he’s not here, at Jimin's co-worker's house, and he’s not replying to his texts either.

Jimin is so dumb; he shouldn’t have believed him.
A random handsome man on the street tries to hit on Jimin and then says he’s willing to be Jimin’s fake date. It was way too good to be true. But in a way, it's Jimin's fault. He doesn't know how to act around people, and that's why he has no friends- and no date for tonight.
Jimin stands awkwardly among the people from his fake job; he twirls the drink in his hand. Maybe, if he would have gone on some dates instead of going around killing people when he was a teen, things would be different for him. But no, he decided to be an assassin.
And now, he's more versed with types of knives and poisons than getting along with his co-workers from the city hall. Co-workers who think Jimin won't ever get a boyfriend and Jimin maybe- a tiny part of him- wanted to prove them wrong.

But Min Yoongi stood him up.
Before someone from work can ask him again where's his date, Jimin decides to just go home. Now his brother's friends will tell him Jimin went with no date, and he'll worry -with much reason- about Jimin's social life.

Someone knocks on the door just when Jimin is about to go.
The house owner goes to open the door, and Jimin fixes his sweater because he'll leave behind the new visit. But, Jimin freezes when Yoongi is the man behind the door.

He seems dizzy, disheveled compared to how handsome he looked in the tailor shop, but Jimin doesn’t mind.
Jimin is speechless. He kind of likes messy hair, though. Yoongi is wearing a suit as he did in the shop, and it makes him look sharp even while panting. “Who are you?” The house owner asks.

Yoongi replies with a loud voice. “I’m Min Yoongi. Park Jimin’s husband. He's here?”
Jimin gasps at the sudden comment. Husband? Why did he say that? They never said husbands! All eyes are on them, though, so Jimin plays along with the lie and walks towards him.

“Yoongi hyung! You’re late; something happened?”

“I uh- I had an accident. But I made it.”
Jimin’s eyes widen. Yoongi doesn’t seem to be lying. “Jimin, I didn’t know you were married!” His co-workers start flooding with questions.

“It was a secret!” Jimin looks over his shoulder. Now that he's close to Yoongi, he can see he has a bruise on his forehead.

“A secret?”
Jimin doesn't understand why he plays along with Yoongi's mishap. “We had a secret wedding last year." Yoongi nods, and Jimin leans to put a strand of hair behind his ear. Yoongi seems to be a man that likes to look clean. When Yoongi glances at Jimin, he continues talking.
“Now you understand why I had to keep rejecting your blind dates! I just couldn’t say I was married because-" Yoongi coughs, and Jimin turns to his co-workers- "of my husband's work!” Jimin improvises, and Yoongi nods solemnly.

“What do you work as?” Everyone starts asking.
“I’m an accountant,” Yoongi says flat serious. Everyone falls quiet. Even Jimin turns to see him with confused eyes. Did he really come up with that? “A diplomat's accountant,” Yoongi adds after a moment.

And then everyone ‘Ah’s’ and ‘Ohs. Yoongi chuckles nervously. Jimin sighs.
“The paperwork is a bit complicated when you work for a diplomat.” Everyone from the city hall agrees, even though Jimin knows they’ve never met a diplomat. "And I have a son too, and yeah, paperwork. So Jimin and I had to keep everything a secret."

"Yes," Jimin agrees.
Jimin faces Yoongi again once everyone seems to have calmed down a little. Yoongi smiles and mimics Jimin's move from a second ago; he lifts a hand to fix Jimin’s hair behind his ear. “I’m sorry I’m late, love.” Yoongi and Jimin’s eyes meet, and Jimin forces himself to look away.
Well, he's good at pretending.
Once they're alone, Jimin gets close to Yoongi, and he whispers. "Are you okay? You really had an accident? What happened?"

Yoongi chuckles before leaning closer to Jimin. "I do work for a diplomat, so I will have to keep that a secret from you."

"Seriously?" Yoongi shrugs.
"Politics can be dangerous," Yoongi says, and Jimin knows. He's had to kill a bunch of politicians in the past, and they're annoying. "But don't worry, I don't get in fights too often. It's just that-" Yoongi points at the bruise on his forehead. "Stuff happens sometimes."
Jimin also knows that quite well. "But you're okay? You're wounded."

"I'm excellent, sir," Yoongi smiles at Jimin. "And about that- that little mistake earlier."

Jimin shakes his head. "Not now; we can talk about that later, dear husband." At least he makes Yoongi laugh.
Some of Jimin's co-workers come close to talk to them, and Yoongi is quite charming and has plenty of anecdotes to keep everyone busy. No one asks about their marriage, and in no time, the anxiousness from Yoongi's arrival washes away. Jimin is quite grateful for his presence.
He always feels a little odd around people from his office. But, Yoongi grabs Jimin's waist and asks what he thinks or if he wants to add something regarding whatever they're talking about, and it's just a tiny gesture, but not many people had done that for Jimin before.
When Jimin goes to the kitchen to leave his and Yoongi's empty glasses, someone from work comes up to him. "I can't believe you were married!" Jimin gulps and just offers a nervous smile. "And to a hot dad!" his coworker whispers.

Jimin can't believe what he's listening to.
That's one way to describe Yoongi; Jimin won't lie. "Where did you hide him for a whole year?"

"Well, he was abroad," Jimin tries. "You know, accounting." His co-worker hums. And Yoongi comes to save Jimin, right on time.

"Jimin, should we get going?"

"Yes, hyung!"
Finally, Yoongi and Jimin bid their goodbyes. But the moment they leave the house, Yoongi grabs Jimin and pulls him close to him. “Hey, be careful!” He says, pressing Jimin to his chest and glancing around. Jimin can also feel eyes on them, but he doesn’t know who.
It's definitely more than one person, and they're standing close- Jimin wants to take a good look, but Yoongi is hugging him close- and he's comfortable. “What is it?” Jimin whispers.

Yoongi pulls Jimin towards a car, and Jimin is confused. “Do you have a car, Jimin?”
“No, I was going to take the bus.”

“I’ll drive you,” Yoongi decides, and he opens the door of his car. He's definitely alert, and Jimin would know because people are watching them.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“Umh, I'll be honest. there’s someone following me."
“Should I be concerned?" Jimin isn't too worried; on the contrary, he wants to accompany Yoongi if he's in danger. If there's a fight, Jimin could be helpful. "Does this have to do with the accident? Your diplomat job?”

Yoongi sits on the front seat and locks the car. “Indeed.”
Yoongi starts driving, and Jimin glances at the rearview mirror. “And what’s happening?”

“This doesn't happen often." Jimin is more than used to chases, considering his real job, but he keeps quiet. Maybe he should pretend he's scared as an average person would be.
“As part of a protection plan, the diplomat's bodyguards asked me to make these people get away from her. I tracked them away; I thought I had lost them,” Yoongi explains.

Jimin should act scared, but all he thinks is- “You came to our fake date even with all that happening?”
Yoongi turns to Jimin and offers him a blinding smile. “I promised you I would come.” Then he looks in front, his grip on the steering wheel tightens, and he frowns. And I’m going to take you home now. To the door of your house because that’s how dates end even if they’re fake.”
“Alright," Jimin giggles, amused. And then he schools his expression. Great pretending at being scared, Jimin. "But first, get rid of those people. It's so scary to know they are close?” Jimin tries his best.

"I will; don't worry about that." Yoongi takes a turn near the port.
When Yoongi parks his car, he tells Jimin to follow him, and after grabbing something from the backseat and walking outside of the vehicle, Yoongi grabs Jimin’s hand and drags him towards the containers in the port.

Now, this is an interesting first date for Jimin.
Yoongi moved too fast, and Jimin didn’t get to see what he grabbed. Jimin guesses accountants must be very quick in their job because Jimin usually catches onto such things. Also, Yoongi must know where he’s going because he keeps taking different turns, and Jimin trusts him.
Plus, Jimin knows he won’t get hurt; he has been in this situation many times before. Sometimes, when something unexpected happens during work, he ends up running away when there's secret security. He knows about this, and he can tug at Yoongi when he feels a presence near them.
“Be careful,” Jimin raises his voice and pushes Yoongi off the way. A bullet hits the container next to them. The men have caught up. Both Yoongi and Jimin ignore them and keep running.

For an accountant, Yoongi is relatively calm at running away from people trying to shoot him.
“Wow, you have good reflexes,” Yoongi points out before Jimin can ask anything.

“I’m a dancer,” Jimin doesn’t lie, but the truth is Jimin trained for this and has dodged many bullets.

“You’re very calm right now for a dancer,” Yoongi says what Jimin had been thinking about him.
“I had a rough childhood,” Jimin decides to say. Not a lie, but well-

“Oh, I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“It's fine. We’re getting to know each other quite well during this first date. And quite fast too.”

Yoongi smiles at him. “Well, we can't say this has been a bad date?”
Yoongi walks into what seems like a dead-end, but none of them is afraid. Yoongi and Jimin hide behind a container, and Jimin understands what he's doing. Yoongi is making the men following them believe they’re cornering Yoongi and Jimin. But Yoongi is too calm to be cornered.
The men following them are at a safe distance when Yoongi turns to see Jimin. “Jimin, I’m sorry about saying you’re my husband in front of your co-workers.”

“I don’t know if this is the right moment to talk about this.”

“Truth be told, I’m looking for a husband.”

“A fake husband!” Yoongi specifies.

“A fake husband?” Jimin repeats, dumbfounded.

“Yes!” Yoongi looks over his shoulder.

“A husband! You never explained why you needed a fake boyfriend in the first place, and now you’re saying you want a husband?” Jimin can’t believe this man.
“Jungkook’s school, my son's school, is very strict about the parents and their lifestyle since it’s a prestigious private school. So, in the interview, I said I was married and lied about having a stay-at-home husband that looks after him while I do- diplomatic accounting."
“But I lied so Jungkook could get a good education! So I don’t want them to drop him from the school!”

That’s a very noble reason. Jimin started killing for money so his brother could get an education too. He sighs. “Didn’t the school ask for your husband's papers?”
“I said I was going to bring them with me to the next meeting.”

Jimin's eyes widen, and he looks over his shoulder. The men are closer. “Oh, so we’d have to get married- married like with papers?”

“Forged papers.” Jimin raises an eyebrow. “I work for a diplomat.” True.
"And you work in a city hall! The school will love that!" As long as they don't find out, Jimin is an assassin. "And everyone there kind of thinks we're married already."

Jimin takes a deep breath. That's also true. They all think that, and they believe Yoongi is a catch too.
“Is it okay if I make uncomfortable questions about Jungkook?” Jimin hears someone talking behind them, but Yoongi is very calm, eyes on Jimin when he nods. “Jungkook is adopted?”

“Yes. My ex left me after we adopted Jungkook.”

Jimin’s eyes widen. “Why did your ex leave you?”
“Fall out of love. Is this a quick get-to-know-me and my mistakes before you make a decision? I'm a workaholic, I have insomnia, and I don’t like washing dishes, but I like cooking. I'm good at it.”

Jimin squints his eyes at the last comment before he chuckles. “Well-”

“Being your husband doesn’t sound so bad!”

“It doesn’t?”

“I mean, everyone at work thinks you’re my husband already! If I have one, no one will expect me to date someone or introduce me to people.” And Yoongi is fun for an accountant, and he makes Jimin feel not so odd.
And definitely not as lonely as he's now. “Oh.”

“Maybe we should marry! Forged papers and all. I’m in. In a fake agreement, sure, but I’m in.”

“It’s great that you say that!” Yoongi opens his suit and grabs what he took out of the car earlier. He was hiding a grenade!
How didn't Jimin notice? He pulls the safety clip and throws the grenade at the man following them. That's why he was so calm! He knew he had everything under control.

Both of them cover their ears when the grenade explodes, out of habit. Then, Yoongi and Jimin face each other.
There's a lot of wind and noise, and maybe a little fire, nothing Jimin hasn't seen before; what shocks him is that Yoongi gets on one knee and offers Jimin the grenade clip. “Would you fake marry me?”

It might be a fake marriage, but Jimin thinks he is a little in love. “Yes."
Who would have thought diplomat's accountants have to do so much!
Daddy Yoongi is tired because he had a spy job yesterday and a date with possibly daddy two.

He returned home and got in the shower, and groaned for a while. Jungkook could hear him smacking his forehead to the shower tiles and read his complaining thoughts about being a spy.
He kept ranting about being overworked, about how his spy job interfered with the date with Jimin ssi, and how everything almost got ruined. However, when he walks out of the shower and sees Jungkook, he smiles and ruffles Jungkook's hair as if he weren't upset!
Jungkook can read his mind! How tired he is, but he acts as if everything is fine. "You had fun with Hoseok ssi? You want milk before going to bed?" Yoongi is the best father globally, and Jungkook doesn't want Yoongi to return him to the housing. He wants to stay with him.
That's why Jungkook will help him fulfill all his spy missions, and daddy Yoongi will realize that Jungkook could be a child spy, and he will take him to all his missions. "I want hot chocolate!" Jungkook yells.

Yoongi sighs and prepares a bitter one, but Jungkook forgives him.
Daddy Yoongi was tired in the night, but he’s in a good mood after checking his phone. “Jungkook, Jimin ssi is coming to visit us today, so let’s make this place pretty for him,” Yoongi murmurs. Jungkook looks at him. "He's coming to hang out with us."

"Because he's daddy two?"
Yoongi laughs. "You're so smart." Every day Jungkook is closer to becoming a child spy. "That's the idea; we'll see how it goes." Jungkook reads Yoongi’s thoughts, and he’s worried the house is not fancy enough for Jimin or cozy enough. Jungkook doesn’t want his daddy to worry.
“Yes! Jimin ssi will love it here! He’ll love the house so much; he’ll want to stay with us forever!” Jungkook says precisely what Yoongi wants to hear.

Yoongi wants Jimin to stay with Jungkook once the mission end. But Jungkook will try his best for daddy to stay with him too.
Yoongi smiles, and for the next few minutes, he and Jungkook clean the house together. Time goes by, and Jungkook is on the couch when Yoongi finishes fixing everything. Yoongi groans when he checks the hour. “I won’t have time to cook and shower. Do I stink too much, bun?”
Yoongi gets close to Jungkook, and Jungkook sniffs him. He smells like moss, and Jungkook thinks it's very manly. “Daddy smells good!”

“Do you think Jimin will think I’m handsome if I look like this?” Yoongi gestures at his ripped jeans and his tight black shirt.
He usually dresses up sharper, with cool spy outfits - three-piece suits like James Bond- and Jungkook thinks he's awesome, but Jungkook likes this too. It's more father-like.

“Daddy is very handsome! I'm sure Jimin ssi will like him a lot!”

'I hope so,' Yoongi's thoughts say.
Jimin arrives, and he’s as cute as usual. Oversized sweater, tussled pink hair, the same shade of pink on his cheeks and lips. “Hello, Yoongi hyung.”

“Jimin, come inside.”

The plan is for Jungkook to charm this man, so once the fake marriage ends, Jimin won't leave the kid.
“Your apartment is beautiful,” Jimin says as he looks around.

"Jungkook helped cleaning," Yoongi says because it's true. He did. Jungkook looks up once he hears his name and smiles.

"I did! We hope you like it!" Jungkook shrieks. Huh, he's naturally good at charming Jimin.
Jimin smiles at Jungkook. "I do! You did a great job cleaning!" Jungkook stares at Jimin for a long moment.

"Daddy hopes you think he looks cute too!" Jungkook shrieks and points at Yoongi.

Yoongi was not- he was not! "What are you talking about?" Yoongi laughs nervously.
Jimin nods. "I think your daddy looks cute. I like the casual look." Yoongi scratches his neck; Jimin is in for a fake marriage, not a real one. Jungkook shouldn't put him on the spot like that, but Yoongi can't explain to him what a fake marriage is. Jungkook looks between them.
"He thinks you look cute too," Jungkook says, and Yoongi closes his eyes.

"Well, thank you," Jimin offers Yoongi a smile, and Yoongi has to smile back. There's no point in losing time pretending to have feelings for Jimin, but if Jungkook needs that, Yoongi will play along.
Thanks to the fake marriage idea, Yoongi doesn't have to go through seducing Jimin and lying (even more) to him, and that's better for everyone. However, Yoongi needs Jimin and Jungkook to grow attached, so when Yoongi leaves, Jungkook and Jimin will stick together.
And so he has to commit to this fake marriage with all might. Yoongi prepared lunch, and Jimin kept repeating how tasty everything is; while eating, Yoongi tried his best to mention everything Jungkook is good at (which is a lot) so Jimin would fall for the kid.
Jungkook seems to like Jimin a lot since he tries chatting with him, and he keeps repeating how nice Jimin is, making Jimin flustered. Yoongi's last move is a strong one, but he goes for it. “Hey, Jimin, have you thought about staying here?”

“Huh?” Jimin’s eyes are wide.
He looks shocked at the offer. “I mean, you don’t have to! It’s only that married couples tend to live together, and it'd be easier,” Yoongi tries to excuse himself. It's clear Jimin is just in this relationship because of the benefits, not because he's interested in Yoongi.
“Easier to-" Yoongi doesn't say pretend, but Jimin nods, understanding. “And you wouldn’t have to pay rent! I'll cover it, and you said you were lonely and Jungkook, and I can keep you company!" Jimin blinks. "You could help me take care of Jungkook-”

“Of course! But-”
“There’s another room. We'll sleep in different places,” Yoongi assures him.

“Oh, this is very sudden,” Jimin murmurs. He’s playing with his fingers. “I mean, everything has been so sudden," he laughs. "Maybe I could come over some days and see-” Jungkook glances between them.
“You want to get to know us better before accepting?” Yoongi guesses. Jimin nods and Yoongi leans closer; he puts his hand on top of Jimin's. “How about we go on a date?”

Jimin's gaze is on their hands. “A date?”

“Well, not a date - date since this is- you know.” Jimin snorts.
They both know this is nothing romantic, just a beneficial agreement. “But if we want people to believe it." And if Yoongi wants Jimin to become part of Jungkook's life- "we have to go on dates.” Jimin keeps nodding slowly.

“I wanna go too!” Jungkook shrieks and Jimin says yes.
Being a child spy is very difficult. Jungkook can't let his dad know he can read minds, but at the same time, he wants to do everything Yoongi thinks of to help him in his mission. Helping him includes getting close to Jimin- and that's a little hard because Jimin is weird.
As they walk down the street, one moment he's thinking, 'oh, that's a cute puppy,' and the next moment he thinks, 'I wonder how the dog of that person I killed last week is doing.' And Jungkook's tummy hurts, and he gets close to Yoongi because the spy will protect him.
But once he hugs his daddy, Yoongi thinks, 'Jimin is very cute, but I don't think Jungkook is getting along with him; what should I do?" And Jungkook doesn't want him to worry, so he swallows his fears and grabs Jimin's hand.

He must have murdered people with that hand.
Jungkook is thinking of all the horrible things Jimin must have done with his hands when he reads Jimin's mind. 'Oh God, he's holding my hand. Why are kids so pure and good? He doesn't even know me, and he's already trusting me. He needs to be protected."

Jungkook smiles.
Jimin isn't that bad. He's not planning on hurting Yoongi nor Jungkook; so far, everything he has thought about the two is just goods words. So now, it's like Jungkook has two strong bodyguards (parents).

And like he had never done before, Jungkook spends the day with his dads.
Jungkook is happy, but Yoongi takes them to the movies and sits Jungkook between the two of them. Jungkook doesn’t like it there because there are too many thoughts in one place, giving him a headache. However, he giggles when he overhears daddy's and Jimin's thoughts.
Yoongi is wondering if he should put his arm around Jungkook and brush Jimin's shoulder, and Jimin is wondering if it's too soon to say he does want to live with them.

When they walk outside, Jungkook pouts and lifts his arms. “Head hurts, daddy.

Yoongi nods. “Alright.”
He crouches and carries Jungkook in his arms. Jungkook is small for his age, so he can wrap his legs around his daddy’s torso. “Try to sleep, and we’ll get home soon.”

“What do you give him for headaches?” Jimin asks.

“Uh, water?”

“Do you have almond milk at your house?”

"You should get some," Jimin explains that he used to take care of his brother when he was little, and he would also get headaches. “Is it okay if I make him tea with milk and honey when we return?”

“I'd like that," Yoongi admits. Jungkook thinks he would like it too.
Jimin prepares hot milk for Jungkook, and Jungkook beams at him. It’s sweet, unlike the bitter one Yoongi always prepares. Jungkook wants Jimin to stay with them.

“So what do you say?” Yoongi whispers, but Jungkook hears him just fine from where he sits in the kitchen.
“I think I still want to be your fake husband and want to live here with you two," Jimin whispers. Jungkook doesn't know why they keep saying they're faking it when they keep thinking the other is handsome.

Yoongi and Jimin chuckle shyly after looking away from the other’s eyes.
Yoongi's thoughts keep repeating that it's a fake marriage, and so does Jimin's. But Jungkook doesn't want his bodyguards (parents) to be in a fake relationship. Instead, he wants them to fall in love and protect Jungkook for a long, long time. Fake relationships are bad.
It makes no sense to have a fake relationship when they are having cute thoughts about the other! Yoongi thinks that Jimin has soft lips, and Jimin thinks the same!

“Will you guys kiss now?” Jungkook yells.

Yoongi and Jimin turn to him with wide eyes and pink cheeks. “No!”
They didn't kiss, but Jungkook doesn't worry, he knows they will kiss eventually, and they'll realize they're madly in love, and they'll have a real wedding, and Jimin won't kill anyone else ever, and Yoongi will take Jungkook to be his spy assistant. All of that will happen.
But for now, Jungkook will let his bodyguards (parents) handle their marriage on their own; his dad gave him a very important task. And Jungkook has to try his best to accomplish it.

It's his first day of school, and school is critical for Yoongi's spy mission.
If Jungkook wants to help the mission go smoothly and earn Yoongi's respect to get promoted to full-time spy assistant, he needs to do as his father says.

In the opening ceremony of Jungkook's first day of school, daddy Yoongi had taken many photos of Jungkook in his uniform.
And while Jimin was talking to the parents of other children, Yoongi got close to Jungkook, and he told Jungkook to be friendly with his classmates. But what Yoongi's mind said was that he expected Jungkook to get along with certain classmates, who were vital to the mission.
Jungkook paid close attention to the names, and he will become best friends with the kids Yoongi is stealing glances of in school. Yoongi was glad because the son of the man he has to get close to is in Jungkook's class! Jungkook will find a way to help in daddy's mission.
Yes, Jungkook will try his best for daddy’s mission to go well, and when Yoongi realizes it went well because of Jungkook’s hard work, he won’t leave!

All Jungkook has to do is become best friends with Kim Taehyung, and get close to him, so his daddy can get close to his daddy.
But after Yoongi and Jimin leave Jungkook at the school, and Jungkook starts his spy mission, he realizes how hard his daddy's job is. When he approaches Kim Taehyung during break and points at him, shouting that he wants to be his friend, Kim Taehyung only stares at him.
He stares for a long moment, and his mind is blank; Jungkook can't hear any thought! Taehyung looks at Jungkook up and down before turning around and running into the classroom, leaving Jungkook behind him.

Jungkook stands alone in the hallway. Well, that was a bad start.
Yoongi won't be too proud of Jungkook.

Taehyung avoids Jungkook for the rest of the day, and it only gets worse when Jungkook tries to focus on the first class of the day, but everyone's thoughts keep making his head ache. He has to train harder to become a full-time child spy.
Kim Taehyung won't be his friend, making the spy mission difficult; Jungkook can't listen to his teachers because everyone's thoughts are loud, and he isn't even home when Jimin moves in with them.

Jungkook wonders what his bodyguards are doing; he wanted to help.
Jimin can't believe he's doing all this. Yoongi forged the papers -so their fake marriage is pretty official; Jimin accompanied him to Jungkook's first day of school and acted as Yoongi's partner.

And now, he's moving all his belongings from his room to Yoongi's house!
And it all happened so fast! But as Jimin carries the boxes upstairs and realizes how little belonging he had, Jimin thinks he understands why he said yes. Jimin started being an assassin for his brother, but now his brother is an adult and doesn't need Jimin anymore.
And for the last years, Jimin found himself alone, going to a (cover-up) tedious job in the city hall where no one talks to him, and when they do, it's to tease him. Also, murdering people most weeks led him to a situation where he doesn't know how to act normally around people.
He just knows how to kill. Who would want to get close to an assassin? Marrying, having a relationship, and taking care of a child... That wasn't on Jimin's plans at all -even if he does love the concept of families. He did everything for his brother once they were on their own!
But now, with Yoongi's proposition, Jimin can at least pretend to have a family. And he feels comfortable around Yoongi- Jungkook is a little more complicated because the boy hasn't gotten used to Jimin yet, but he's the sweetest kid, and Jimin wants both of them to get along.
Moving with Yoongi and Jungkook gives Jimin the chance to pretend he has a normal life- like he didn't lose his teenage years and most of his young adult life to murdering for some cash.

He just hopes Yoongi doesn't find out he's an assassin because he'll surely kick Jimin out.
And the other thing Jimin hopes is for Yoongi to stop acting so charming.

Jimin now knows that their minor flirting that the first day was an act to end in this beneficial agreement; there was no attraction or nothing of that sort, but Yoongi keeps opening doors for Jimin!
And he didn't go to his accounting job because he wanted to help Jimin move into the apartment, and he bought flowers since they were celebrating their successful fake marriage! It's a bit too much, and Jimin wants this agreement to remain as strictly professional as possible.
But as Yoongi helps Jimin taking some of his belonging to his room, Jimin thinks he likes the quiet and domesticity between them.

Until Jimin almost yells when he sees Yoongi shaking a box before lifting it. "No! No! Leave that!"

“Ah? What’s in this box?” Yoongi wonders.
“Nothing!” Jimin shrieks and gets closer, gesturing for him to let it go. “Nothing! It’s nothing! Just put it down!" Yoongi nods. "Carefully, please!” They stare at each other as Yoongi puts it down, and Jimin covers his face, and Yoongi’s cheeks color slightly pink.
“Right, umh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to grab it.” Jimin gulps. “Uhm, just-" He gestures at the box. "When Jungkook isn’t home, you know?” Yoongi looks away, and Jimin blushes all over.

Jimin can’t believe he's implying Jimin owns something like that when what the box has is knives!
Yoongi asks if he can pick up another box, and Jimin nods but stays frozen in place when Yoongi walks past him to go into Jimin's new room.

Jimin is terrible at being a fake husband. A collection of knives or sex toys; any of those are not what Jimin should bring into this home.
Jimin doesn't know what's worse, though. What will Yoongi think of him now? He's a hard-working accountant. He would want neither a murderer nor a shameless person in his house, living with his child!

He's going to kick Jimin out. Jimin's little family fantasy is ending soon.
Jimin is hiding behind his hands when he feels a weight on his shoulder. It's Yoongi. "Hey, don't stand there. You still have some stuff left in the car." Jimin turns to see him slowly. "And after you settle in your room, we should go grocery shopping. I want a small party."
"A small party?" Jimin whispers.

"Because it's Jungkook's first day of school and because you're living with us starting from now," Yoongi explains. "What do you want to eat? I'll cook." Jimin bites his lower lip and walks after Yoongi.

"Anything is fine, hyung."
"No, come on, tell me what you want. I bet I can prepare it. Your favorite dish," Yoongi says, and Jimin bites his lower lip. Why is he so nice? "Ah, by the way, Jungkook's babysitter is coming over."


"Yeah, so you two can meet. He's a friend of a friend."
Yoongi opens the door for Jimin so they can go downstairs. Again. “Does he know we’re married?”

“Yeah, but he knows it’s fake. So you don't have to pretend again. You already did a great job today at school, by the way. Thank you for that. You were amazing.” Jimin smiles.
The only times he gets praised it's because of how quick and clean he murdered someone. No one at work ever praises him. So this is nice for a change.
Jungkook is helping Jimin dry the dishes as he tells Jimin about school. He was tired and didn't want to talk about it with Yoongi, but at least he's opening up to Jimin.

Yoongi is with Hoseok, the 'babysitter' because Hoseok has to inform Seokjin how the mission is going.
"Well, your husband is pretty," Hoseok says when Yoongi turns on the TV. Jungkook's favorite show will start soon, and if he misses the opening credits, Jungkook will cry. Yoongi glances at Jimin, he's nodding along to Jungkook's ramble, and yeah, he's more than pretty.
He's an innocent person Yoongi has to use for his mission. But he tells himself it's for the greater good. Yoongi will leave Jimin the house when this is all ends. "How do you think he'll react when you escape in an affair with the babysitter," Hoseok whispers. Yoongi frowns.
He looks over his shoulder to properly glare at Hoseok. "First of all, shut up. My family is here; I don't want them to overhear." Hoseok rolls his eyes. "We're not using that cover-up story. And let's not talk about it; this mission is going to take a long while."
"Why would I think about our escape plan once the mission is over and they can't be involved in any way when I haven't even talked to the subject." Hoseok shrugs, and Yoongi sits next to him on the couch. "Come up with a better cover-up though, I don't like that one."
"Why? You don't want your fake husband and fake child to think you were lying to them all along? Living a lie behind their backs? Wait- you are lying to them," Hoseok reminds him. Yoongi knows.

That's Hoseok's way of reminding him not to get attached. Yoongi is not. Not at all.
Jungkook comes running to the living room and sits on Yoongi’s lap. “Is it starting?”

“Yeah. You helped Jiminie?” Jungkook hums. "You're going to tell me, how was your first day of school?" Jungkook shakes his head. Hoseok is only watching them with an amused smile.
Yoongi ignores him. He focuses on Jungkook's favorite show instead, which happens to be a show about spies. And Yoongi tries his best not to laugh at everything the cartoon gets wrong about his profession. They don't say anything about long missions like this one.
Jungkook twists in Yoongi's lap and points at the screen. “You don't do that?”

Yoongi chuckles. "What? I don't. Your daddy isn't cool, bun. I mostly stay at the office, checking numbers."

Jungkook frowns. "I think you should do stuff like that." Yoongi glances at the cartoon.
A spy is saving someone, and actually, Yoongi has done stuff like that at some point. Jungkook is vibrating in excitement for some reason; he really loves this show. "We can do something like that if you want."

"We can?" Jungkook asks.

"If you talk to me about school."
Jungkook frowns, but he nods after a second. "I'll tell you after we do that!" He points at the screen.

Seems fair. "Alright. I'll be the spy; you'll be the person I save." Jungkook's eyes are shining, cartoon forgotten. "Hoseok can be the evil man that captured you."
"And Jimin is the killer!" Jungkook yells. Jimin drops the plastic bowl he was drying when he hears the idea.

"What?" Jimin whines. "What's happening?"

"Jungkook!" Yoongi scolds him. "Why would you say Jimin is a killer?" Jimin looks mortified, and Jungkook looks between them.
"Jimin, it's just a game," Yoongi tries to soothe his fake husband. But he looks sternly at Jungkook. He has to be nice to Jimin, or Jimin won't stick with him. Jungkook sighs.

"Sorry. I guess Jimin hyung can be the evil witch." What goes on in the mind of this kid?
"Why aren't you defending my honor?" Hoseok complains. "You said I was the evil man!"

Yoongi ignores him because his eyes are on Jimin. He's such a sweet person; he looks uncomfortable by the idea of being related to something cruel or twisted. "Jimin can be the nice witch."
Jungkook looks at Yoongi in disbelief; he looks like he's about to argue, but then he nods. "Okay, he can be the nice witch."

"Okay. Jimin will notice you're in danger, and he'll contact me to rescue you. And we'll both save you!"

Jungkook's face brightens suddenly. "Yes! Yes!"
They spend the rest of the night running around the house in the silliest game Yoongi has ever played, with Jungkook shrieking and giggling and Jimin making a terrible (cute) impression of a witch.

Yeah, Yoongi isn't having a good time; this is just part of the mission.

• • •

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