When my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend started getting too cozy and flirty with my then-girlfriend during a trip in Naivasha, I became jittery and caused an unsettling scene. Nancy was the type of girl who traveled to quench her desire to explore the world as well
as flaunt it on social media.
The number of vacations that Nancy partook every month were bothersome to my frail heart. My jealousy was inspired by the continuous sight of guys on her trip photos. And so, I complained.
‘You go out on way too many vacations, tours, road trips
, or whatever you call the weekend journeys that you make every month,’ it was a complaint, a genuine one. ‘I am never comfortable especially when you go out on these trips with guys!’ I added.
‘There are girls too, but what would you know about trips when you chose to lead
a boring lifestyle. It’s irritating to learn that boring people assume that everyone who goes out on group trips is out to engage in some immoral and activities.’
‘The Internet is awash with nauseating unscrupulous stories about group trips in Naivasha, Coast or whatever.’
‘I am going to take you on a trip if you don’t trust me. If you are the jealous type, and you don’t like traveling, you have no business dating someone who loves traveling like I am. Nothing out of the ordinary fun happens during our travels,’ she assured. I believed her.
Nancy believed in and loved traveling. It was her hobby. She was also gabby. I was precisely the opposite, a reserved introvert who finds comfort and beauty within the confines of my house. Our contrasting personalities made me believe that our relationship was a jackpot,
one that was compatible. For relationships, experts argue that people with contrasting personalities make the best couples. And I fell prey to such expert relationship advice.
Whereas Nancy did not have a problem with my quiet nature,
I was struggling to accommodate her outgoing and extroverted nature. I would get jealous when I saw her vacation photos next to boys, especially in swimsuits and bikinis.
A month after we had that argument, I never thought Nancy would actualize her threats to drag me from
the house into a trip. All in the name of exposing me to what happens in those trips. Plus, one of her friends was planning to propose to his girlfriend. It was supposed to be a Valentine’s week couple outing.
‘My friend is planning to propose to his girlfriend during this
year’s Valentines' Day. He has organized a trip for his friends to witness the proposal. I can’t miss this one, as well as I want to spend Val's’ Day with you.’ I told Nancy that I was too broke to afford the expenses of a trip, especially one within a group of salaried friends.
‘Mavo, the guy who is proposing to his girlfriend, will sponsor the trip. Plus, Kamau has offered one of his safari company’s Landcruisers to take us to Naivasha for the weekend. You won’t spend a dime on the trip,’ she assured.
The famous Naivasha destination, I thought.
On the day of the trip, I was to link up with them at the Bypass, Thika Road. They were six, including my girl.
As I alighted from a motorbike, one guy caught my attention almost immediately. Apart from dangling car keys in his hand in a blatant show-off manner,
he was also standing too close to my girlfriend.
Because I expected the trip to be a couple-trip, I expected an 8th person, a girl, to join us to balance the couple equation. That is unless one girl was practicing polyamorous like Willy Smith’s Daughter. I hugged my girl.
She whispered that I was late. I was the only person they had been waiting for. I hugged her longer than usual until the car-key guy cleared his voice in what I assumed to be a clear protest against me hugging my girlfriend. I kissed her on her lips. Kama’s moved in discomfiture.
Seeing how uncomfortable he was, I made sure the kiss was noisy and messy. It certainly had a casualty.
Ours was a case of hate at first sight. From the word go, I could tell that the guy did not like me, neither did I. He wore expensive outfits.
‘We are late,’ the guy said.
‘Nancy, you will sit next to the drive while the rest of us can fit in the remaining five seats.’ While the rest of the group sat next to their lovers, I was bundled at the back in a three-seater seat. The couple next to me barely stopped kissing and flirting.
They were to be engaged during the trip. For a moment, I almost protested at the prospect of sitting far away from my girlfriend while the other couple’s sat next to each other. Nancy’s lack of interest to sit next to me maybe inspired my silence.
For the whole journey, I endured the sight of my girlfriend laughing at Kama’s lame jokes. Occasionally, Nancy would turn back to wink at me probably to buy my comfort. From the start of the journey, Kama played some violent music that I later learned its identity as Amapiano.
I just wanted him to at least play some Rhumba or Tupac or Eminem. They all sung to Amapiano. When they played John Vuli Gate Nancy kneeled on her chair, raised her hands in the air, and danced like the South Africans as the rest of the lot cheered on her.
I caught Kama peep at the underside of Nancy’s bra from her cropped-top when she raised up her hands. She was happy. I was jealous that outside made her happier than my house. I realized how much I bored her with Rhumba, reading books, and cuddling.
She was a wild world child that loved the thrill of the outside air.
An hour after we left Nairobi, Nancy noted that I was bored. She introduced a game where each one of us would suggest a song to be played to accommodate those of us who didn’t enjoy the kind of music that
Kama was playing. Maybe to cheer me up. She became the DJ. Each one suggested a song in turn. However, Kama’s song choices were conspicuously provocative.
His first song was Same Girl - R Kelly ft Usher. And he sang loudest to the chorus ‘
Man I can't believe that .
We've been messing with the
Same girl, same girl
Thought she was someone I could trust
But she's been doubling up with us
His next song was Loyal - Christ Brown ft Lil Wayne. I noted with a pinch of anger when he sang to the chorus of the song; When a rich nigga wants you,
and you nigga can do nothing for you, these girls ain’t loyal.’
His choice of music was disturbing I had to withdraw from that stupid and childish game. I couldn’t stand another guy sending shades and rationing me through songs in front of my girl.
I don’t know if anyone else noted his blatant move to attack me through his choice of songs. Nancy noted the same. She took control of the playlist and played some Rhumba, Eminem, and Tupac.
After about three hours, he pulled the wagon in front of a palatial building. He hooted.
The gate was opened to lead into what seemed like a private residential home. It was. The owner had rented it out to them through the Airbnb arrangement, I came to learn. A three-bedroom house.
In the evening, the girls prepared supper while we the men had chitchat.
Of all the topics in the world, Kama decided to introduce the topic of bitcoins.
I know nothing about bitcoins, therefore, I contributed nothing. Well, until Kama asked me what I thought about investing in bitcoins, in the presence of the girls.
We were sitting at the dining table with Nancy sandwiched between Kama and me I. Nancy was quick to change the topic before I started fumbling.
After supper, they decided that we should go clubbing in a club that was a walk from the house that we had rented.
Mysterious, totally unprovoked, totally unnecessary, Kama suggested that because Mavo was footing other bills, we should buy the alcohol. And he suggested a merry-go-round type of alcohol buying.
Me, I, left my house with nothing else but my bag, body, and God-will-help-in-case-of-anything-else attitude.
Kama went first. He ordered 3 bottles of alcohol named after people in the Bible like Jack Daniel, Johnnie Walker, and Jose Cuervo. He also ordered 4 beers
because I don’t take any other type of alcohol other than beer. The total was 9,500, I heard the waitress tell Kama. After Kama’s round, the other guy called Kenny ordered the same. I was increasingly becoming edgy. The next round was mine. I had no shilling in my pocket.
‘Check your M-Pesa account,’ Nancy whispered into my ears and perked me. She saved me from the shame that would have befallen me had I not managed to buy the alcohol. One of the girls suggested that we should carry the alcohol that I bought to drink from the house.
We were getting more woozy.
I was the least drunk of the 4 men. Outside the club, I walked carrying the beer pack in my hand while my other hand was holding Nancy. The other three guys were carrying each a bottle of whisky or rum.The two other guys were holding their girlfriend.
Each one of us was holding his girlfriend until Kama thought it was perfectly okay to hold my girlfriend’s waist. Hell broke loose. I pushed him away into the pavement and stormed off the scene.
Nancy followed me, calling my name to stop walking. ‘Let me explain, Sakwah.’
I loved her drunk voice, I wanted to stop. But a cocktail of anger and jealous emotions had overwhelmed me and cogged my thinking. As soon as I entered our bedroom, Nancy followed soon after.
‘Kama is my ex-boyfriend and a friend of my friends. He was my friend before we dated
and broke up. I moved on, he hasn’t. I explained to him that I have you,’ Nancy was emotional.
‘If he can hold you in my presence, what else does he do during your trips? When I am not around?’
‘He was drunk, my love.’
‘But you guys get drunk on all your trips, don’t you?’
I asked. Nancy fumbled with her words.
‘Please, Sakwah, it is you I love. Kama is my ex, a clingy-ex.’
While having our couple argument, we heard a faint knock on the door. Then the doorknob moved and Kama was there standing on the door.
He was wasted and inebriated, and physically unstable. He could barely stand upright.
‘What do you want, Kamau?’
‘I came to check if you are fine, my dear.’
‘Leave us alone, Kamau. I am talking to my boyfriend.’ The fact that she called him Kamau instead of Kama
bothered me as well.
‘I still…’ I moved across the bedroom and banged the door on his face. The next thing I heard was the Jack Daniel’s bottle breaking into pieces. The friends came to talk to him, whisky him away, to beg him to go back and sleep in the sitting room.
‘Why should I sleep in the sitting room when I guy who contributed nothing is sleeping in the bedroom. Mavo, I am your brother, you can’t do this…Listen to me, Mavo,’ Kama complained.
‘Elewa ni boyfriend ya Nancy,’ Mavo said. And their voices disappeared in the corridors yonder
Nancy and I had an argument, and she seemed to convince me of her love, and that she had moved on from Kama and it was Kama who had refused to move on. I believed her, and we had sex, great drunk sex.
The following morning, I woke up late and walked to the sink next to the kitchen to brush my teeth and wash my face. Nancy was in the kitchen talking to Stella, the soon-to-be engaged girl. They were discussing yesternight’s incidence.
The 3 guys and 1of the girls were in the sitting room listening to Amapiano, loud. Nancy was telling Stella that she was confused while I eavesdropped on their conversation.
‘Kama is arrogant, rude, he shows off a lot and sometimes he is violent. Sakwah is calm.
He just writes and reads books and listens to Rhumba. Plus, Kamaa cheats a lot, he flirts with many girls. Sakwah is good in bed.’
‘But poor. Kama can afford to take you out on trips. Before you broke up, he was about to take you Zanzibar.’
‘I am confused.’ Nancy said.
I was hurt. Clearly, my girlfriend was still in love with her ex. They went on talking while I listened. I also learned that Nancy had previewed Stella about the engagement proposal while Mavo thought it would be a surprise to her.
I heard then discuss how initially Stella wanted to say no to Mavo’s engagement proposal because she loved someone else. And how Nancy had convinced her to just say yes, save Mavo from embarrassment in front of his friends and call off the engagement after two weeks.
It was a sad world for me and Mavo.
I went back to my room, packed my things, prepared, and left the room ready to leave. On the corridor, I met Nancy on her way to fetch me. Breakfast was ready. She was shocked to meet me with my bag.
So was everyone when I appeared in the sitting room. Kama looked regretful and contrite, or maybe that was his impassive face.
‘I am leaving, guys,’ my face was deadpan. I was deliberately expressionless. Mavo was the most shocked.
‘Why, bro? We were to leave together in the evening.’
‘I would have hanged around till evening, but the event that would have inspired my stay seems fake Afterall.’
‘What do you mean?’ Mavo asked.
‘Sakwah,’ Nancy seemed to stop me from talking.
‘Stella knows that you are planning to propose to her.’
‘She knows?’ Mavo was shocked, maybe angry at his friends. It was supposed to be a secret.
‘And she was planning to say no. But she will only say yes to save you from embarrassment.
Then she will call off the engagement weeks later because she loves someone else.’ I said, and muted, ‘thank me for saving you from future embarrassments.’ I walked out of my crime scene leaving them with a muddle of different emotions.
I have authored two books. One is currently out of print. The Campus Exile is a fictional crime-romance novel. It explores the lives of students influenced by city tycoons to sell drugs to comrades.
A copy is 1000.
I think that was the most befitting conclusion to that story. Majorly because I wrote it from the first person's point of view. Any addition would have been the boring journey from Naivasha back to Nairobi. I glad you loved the story. Working on more thread stories.

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More from @CSakwah

3 May
The Tale of a University Dropout
Next thread.

Going back to my family and the society to report my decision to drop out of campus was going to be a mentally grueling and taxing task. I knew they would be disappointed, angry, happy, impassive even. What I did not know was how
far they would have extended these emotions.
I left the University of Nairobi at the end of the second semester, at the onset of the annual university long holiday.Therefore, it wasn’t unnatural for my cousin to find me at his home when he came back from his job in the evening
. He stayed in LuckSummer.
I spent the better part of my few days at his place creating ways to inform him that I had dropped out of school. I wanted to burden him with the task of informing the rest of the family about my decision. He was the eldest of my cousins.
Read 38 tweets
2 May
46 million Kenyans out of 54 million pop can access the internet. 23 million Tanzanians out of 61 million pop can access the internet. Kenya has an internet access rate of 85% and TZ- 23%. Then why is it that Tanzanian songs are being streamed on youtube more than Kenyan songs?
Those doubting the stats, I got them from two different sources.

When it comes to internet penetration, Kenya sits among the best in the world.
This is Diamond Platinumz' YT stream insight for the last 12 months.
Nairobi has streamed his songs 83.5 mil times, Dar Es Salaam has streamed his songs 70 mil times in the same period.
Kenya has streamed his songs 109 mil times. Tanzania has streamed his songs 81.6 mill times. Image
Read 6 tweets
28 Apr
When I landed back in the village as a dropout, many people tried to figure out or come up with reasons why I had absconded my studies. I used to tell people that I had grown to hate the degree that I was awarded or I was awarded a degree that was not compatible with my brain.
Many people, however, did not buy my reasons. Some said that I had been bewitched by an old witch lady in my village. I had been bewitched beyond redeemable. They said the woman had witchcraft powers whose pedigree would leave the Nigerian witchdoctors envious of her powers.
A month after I went back home, a relative told me that one of my pictures, taken when I was a kid, had been retrieved from the hut of the old witch. They found the photo after the villagers raided her house in suspicion of practicing witchcraft.
Read 29 tweets
28 Apr
Dear struggling university students, before you make that haste decision to quit school;
1) Society perceives a university dropout to be a bigger failure than a primary or high school dropout.
2) The likelihood of getting back to school in the future is near zero.
3). The outside is not greener. Society is very harsh to failures. Our society believes that one can only make it in life through education, therefore, to fail at it might be perceived to be the biggest failure in life.
4) Your risk getting rejected by family and society....
Especially by people who believe that they have invested money, time, and resources for you to join university. You will be subjected to constant ridicule, unfair judgment, insults and trolls. You will lose the respect and admiration that you had from society.
Read 11 tweets
26 Apr
This week, 7 years ago, in 2014, I decided to abscond my university studies for good. I made the unprovoked decision to drop out of The University Of Nairobi after intentionally skipping my second year's main exams.

A true-life story thread.
During that semester, I never attended any class apart from chemistry unit laboratory practicals that involved alcohols.
This decision proceeded a semester with a series of dark moments, near-death experiences, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide attempts.
I joined The University Of Nairobi as a late-teenage provincial boy. As I was transitioning from boyhood into adulthood, I suddenly developed an intense desire of wanting to know my true identity in society.
Read 24 tweets
25 Apr
Story Thread

‘Our agency does not rent out houses to beggars. We are not a charitable organization. I am tired of begging you to pay rent. Hama from our houses kaa umeshindwa kulipa rent!’ My house agent said over the phone.
‘Ata nyumba si zako!’
I thought of saying that. Instead, I said, ‘I am sorry, madam. This month flipped me upside down.’
‘It is almost coming to the end of the second month, Mr. Sakwah,’ she reminded me. ‘Do you think I was employed to beg you to pay your rent? There are so many people who can
afford your rent.’ She was doing what she was supposed to do, but I felt her tone was condescending. At the end of the phone call, she gave me a two-day ultimatum to clear the two months’ rent arrears or risk facing an eviction.
‘I swear, by the end of the two days,
Read 49 tweets

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