I wrote these 4 years ago, so cut me some slack, but they're still worth reposting.
Theologians answer: "Do you renounce the Devil and all his works?"
Athanasius: The Son of God became a Devil-renouncing man that I might renounce the Devil as a son of God.
Augustine: God grant me to renounce the Devil, but not yet.

Aquinas: I answer that I do indeed renounce the Devil and all of his works, just as Augustine says, “God grant me to renounce the Devil.”
Luther: Yes, especially his whore the pope!

Calvin: I shall do as God has willed me to do by His all-wise, omnipotent predestination.
Schweitzer: The Devil did not bother me as a master for long because I am too worthless a slave.

Bultmann: Is the Devil anything more than a mythological husk?
(Not sorry)
Kierkegaard: The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins.
Lewis: Why yes, yes I do.
Barth: In encounter with the God who makes Himself known as Jesus Christ, when He spoke His Word to me, I found myself freed for faith in Him. I am therefore compelled corem Deo to renounce the Devil and all his works.
Torrance: Jesus Christ has already renounced the Devil and all of his works for me, in His vicarious, obedient human life in unbroken union with the Father in the power of the Spirit.
Wright: I renounce “the Satan” and all of his works, although much of the Church, especially in the West, has for centuries done so without understanding what “the Satan” meant to first-century Jews like Jesus.
Leithart: [Insert some creative, piercing insight into Devil-renunciation practices that involves sociology, anthropology, history, politics, and sacramental theology.]
Piper: I renounce the Devil and all of his works for the glory of God, because of the supremacy of Christ, for He is the only thing that satisfies!
Enns: Yeah, Jesus believed in the Devil, but should we?

Greg Boyd: Hold on, I’m keeping God in suspense about what I will freely choose.
Roger Olson: Yes, I renounce the Calvinist God and all of his works.
Al Gore: I invented the Devil!

(Oh, wait, he’s not a theologian.)
MacArthur: I dunno, that sounds awfully Charismatic. Is this a trap?
Rob Bell: How can I renounce someone who might (I hope that doesn’t sound too dogmatic) one day be redeemed?

RHE: Would Jesus really be the kind of bigot who renounces people?
Chris Tomlin: You’re a bad, bad Devil. It’s who you are; it’s who you are; it’s who you are. And I renounce all your works. It’s what I do; it’s what I do; it’s what I do.
Platt: That’s not radical enough. We must declare war on the Devil and all his works, give our everything to see him defeated no matter what the cost.

Falwell, Jr.: That depends what he has to offer politically.
James White: I renounce the Devil and all his works, which include Arminianism, Catholicism, the Federal Vision, and the New Perspective on Paul, among many other things which I expose masterfully on my show The Dividing Line.
Keller: I realize that in our modern culture a lot of people have given up on belief in the Devil, but honestly, as I look at Scripture, I just think that’s terribly wrong. So, yes, I have to say I renounce the Devil and all of his works.
Andy Stanley: I mean, yeah, I renounce the Devil and everything, but how important is that, really? A lot of people can’t believe in a Devil these days, and I get that, so why not focus on Jesus and the Resurrection?
Francis Chan: Of course I renounce the Devil! With a God who loves me with such a radical, crazy love, how could I even think about not renouncing the Devil? If you’ll excuse me, I think this means I need to finish renouncing and giving away my last few possessions.
Pope Francis: Who am I to judge?

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More from @CalebDixonSmith

8 Jun
My "worldview" (𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦) in a handful of quotes:
"Everyone should eat and drink, and find enjoyment in all his toil, for these things are a gift from God." — Solomon, the wisest man ever
"There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person." — G. K. Chesteron
Read 8 tweets
9 Oct 20
A thread: In John 6, Jesus says, "All the Father gives me will come to me; and him who comes to me I will not cast out," and "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him." These verses take high place in a common argument that the passage teaches most of TULIP.
No one can come unless the Father draws? Total depravity.
The Father gives people to the Son before they can even come to Him? Unconditional election.
All of these given people will come? Irresistible grace.
Jesus will never cast them out? Perseverance of the saints.

In one sense, this passage certainly does provide material from which these points of Calvinism might be legitimately inferred. However, we should note that the context in John and the overall passage indicates a different primary referent.
Read 16 tweets

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