ella⁷ Profile picture
6 Jun, 242 tweets, 66 min read
yoonmin au—

as childhood best friends, yoongi has accompanied jimin through all the twists and turns of his career. but now that jimin has become a very famous model, yoongi feels like they’re drifting apart more and more without knowing jimin is very much in love with him. ImageImageImageImage
• childhood friends to lovers. mutual pining. oblivious boys. famous jimin and non-famous yoongi. very slight angst, misunderstandings and fluff.

• this is a commission out of my drafts! it’s an original idea, and the commissioner picked it up for me to finish writing it.
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Yoongi is startled when he hears someone knock on his door. It's late at night, and he wasn't expecting anyone; he's wearing sweatpants and an old shirt while preparing ramen before watching a movie. Someone must have gotten confused, so Yoongi sighs and walks to the door.
He opens the door slightly to tell the person outside that they got the wrong apartment and maybe guide them, but his mouth falls open when he sees Jimin outside. "Park Jimin, what are you doing here?" Yoongi blurts out and opens the door wide so Jimin can come inside.
Jimin is wearing a black face mask and a black cap, all of his face hidden behind them, but Yoongi recognizes him because of his thin frame drowning in an oversized black sweatshirt and loose black pants. No one would guess he's a model if they'd see him like this.
Jimin takes off his slippers in walks inside Yoongi's apartment. Only when Yoongi closes the door, Jimin pulls his face mask down and pouts. "We were going to eat together to celebrate!"

Yoongi crosses his arms over his chest. "Jimin, it's late. You should be home resting!"
"You have eyebags! Don't you have a busy schedule tomorrow?"

Jimin frowns and takes off his cap, his fluffy hair a mess under it. "Yes! But you haven't been replying, so I thought I'd come over to surprise you."

Yoongi stares at him for a long moment and then sighs.
"Go wash your hands; I'll make you something to eat."

Jimin beams at him, cheeks naturally pink and his clean face glowing. Jimin scurries inside the apartment and leaves Yoongi in the hallway. Yoongi needs to calm down; his heart beats a little too fast when he sees Jimin.
"Is your driver outside?" Yoongi wonders before heading to the kitchen. Jimin walks out of the bathroom and nods.

"He'll wait to drive me home."

Yoongi nods, thinking that he would tell Jimin to stay over to sleep here if they were an ordinary pair of friends.
But they're not, and Jimin must have something important to do earlier in the morning, so he must go back to his apartment. Yoongi looks over his shoulder and sees Jimin taking off his black sweatshirt. He struggles with it, and the shirt underneath raises with the movement.
Yoongi stares at the revealed strip of skin from Jimin's flat stomach and forces himself to look away when Jimin finally takes off his sweatshirt. "Ramen?"

"Yes!" Jimin's voice is bright as he sits at the small table for two in Yoongi's kitchen. His white shirt is loose on him.
"I love your ramen; it's better than any fancy restaurant," Jimin says.

Yoongi chuckles. "It's just some noodles, Jimin."

"Yes, but when I eat them, it reminds me of when we moved together, and you would prepare it when I returned from training," Jimin whispers too.
Yoongi doesn't reply, but he smiles, and he finishes cooking in silence until he turns to Jimin. "Hey, Min, you can't show up just like that. What if I wasn't home?"

"Why wouldn't you be home?" Jimin asks while staring at Yoongi with wide eyes.

"I don't know; I could be out."
"With who?" Jimin asks.

Yoongi focuses on the pot again. "With my friends?"

Jimin hums, and he's quiet after that until he sighs. "I always let you know if I'm coming over, but as I said, you weren't answering my texts, so I thought I'd just visit and see you for a while."
"What if I wasn't home?"

Jimin frowns. "Then, I would have knocked and waited for some minutes or called you, and if you were out with friends, then I would have returned home. It's not a big deal; I just wanted to see you."

Yeah, wanting to see Yoongi is not a big deal.
"We didn't celebrate my cover," Jimin says. "I wanted to celebrate with you. A solo cover is so cool."

Yoongi pours the ramen on a bowl, and when he leaves it in front of Jimin, he says, "we didn't because you didn't want me to celebrate with you."

Jimin looks confused. "What?"
Yoongi doesn't look at Jimin in the eyes as he serves himself a bowl. Yoongi knows he's not behaving right; he gets jealous over stuff he shouldn't. "Well, you celebrated with your friends, and you didn't want me to go to that party-"

"No! You don't like parties! You hate them!"
"I don't hate them."

"You do!" Jimin argues. "You always complain about them, and you say you don't know anyone there, and that people from modeling business are judgy and make you feel unwelcomed! You've said stuff like that before when I took you to parties!"
"You were going to be uncomfortable! And you had already accompanied me earlier that day to the shooting, so I didn't want to force you to be in a space I know you don't like," Jimin says. Yoongi is quiet for a long moment. He's so dramatic.

Jimin squints his eyes.
"Is this why you were taking so long to reply? You wanted to come to the party?"

When Jimin puts it that way, Yoongi feels very immature about his reaction. But at the same time, it wasn't just going to the party. It's more than that. "I didn't reply because of other stuff too."
"So you were avoiding me," Jimin murmurs. Yoongi sits in front of him; he fixes his glasses and nods. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't just because of the party," Yoongi mumbles. "But other stuff about you. Or us?" Yoongi tries.

"Well, tell me," Jimin demands.
Yoongi shakes his head. He doesn't like how Jimin makes him feel nervous, jealous- "I don't know, Jimin, I just-" Jimin stares at him. "I'm being dramatic."

"Hyung! Tell me, come on," Jimin grabs a spoon and pretends to focus on his food, so Yoongi doesn't feel pressured.
"You were acting weird, and I didn't like that," Jimin says when he notices Yoongi won't reply. "If something I did bothered you, you should tell me."

Yoongi looks up at Jimin, and every time he sees his handsome face, he wonders when he grew up to be such an amazing person.
"You don't bother me, Minmin," Yoongi says, and Jimin smiles at the pet name. "I reacted badly to not getting invited to the party because I worry about our friendship."

"Our friendship?"

"I worry we could stop being friends," Yoongi tries to gather his feelings, but it's hard.
Jimin laughs to himself, and Yoongi glares at him. "I worry about that too, silly, but my solution is to come and look for you in your apartment, not to ignore your texts. How do you plan on saving our friendship by distancing yourself from me?"

Yoongi gulps at the call-out.
"Because I need time to think," Yoongi explains. Think about everything Jimin makes him feel.

Jimin shakes his head. "You need time with me! We need best friends time again!" he retorts between giggles. "We barely see each other, and I know it's mostly my fault."
"I always have something to do, and I'm always so busy, and I have to cancel on you, and I know! But I want to spend time with you!" Their eyes meet. "We want the same, right?"

"Yeah," Yoongi murmurs. "I just- I don't know, Jimin, I didn't think a party would affect me so much."
"But I feel like you have so many interesting things to do, and you have a whole life where I don't belong, and I'm so plain in comparison, I can't compete with that, and you'll just slip away."

Jimin frowns. "You're not plain! You're my favorite person; you're my best friend!"
Yoongi looks at Jimin for a long moment, and then he scratches his neck. "I don't know why I'm acting weird."

Jimin pouts. "I don't want us to drift apart either. It's so lonely sometimes, but I always know you're one call away. Please don't ignore me again," Jimin murmurs.
Yoongi laughs; just a moment ago, he admired how Jimin has grown up and matured so much. But seeing him pout now, it's clear that, deep down, he's still the kid that would hold pull Yoongi's shirt to gain his attention. "You're clingy."

"You're clingier!" Jimin retaliates.
"You're upset because I didn't ask you to come to a party!"

"I'm not upset!" Yoongi rolls his eyes. "You're upset because I replied twice a day instead of answering two minutes after you texted."

"Well, you can't spoil me with fast replies and then take them away."
Yoongi smiles at Jimin's words. "Eat your food; it's going to get cold." Jimin nods and starts to eat. "Hey, Jimin, why don't you stay over and sleep here? Like a sleepover from high school?" Yoongi tries.

Jimin looks up, and he bites his lower lip. "Uh, I don't know."
"Where would I sleep?"

"In my bed?" They've shared a bed plenty of times before.

Jimin chuckles nervously. "I need my beauty sleep, Yoonyoon. A good rest." Yoongi snorts. Glamorous and famous Jimin can't sleep in his small bed.

"Alright," Yoongi murmurs. "That's fine."
"We should go to a resort!" Jimin says suddenly. "We could go during my vacation! We can have a sleepover there and eat a lot!" He seems happy, and Yoongi is happy too. "Let's promise each other we'll have best friends time, so you don't have to worry about me drifting away!"
Yoongi nods, and he listens to Jimin ramble about all the things they could do.

He's happy that Jimin is enjoying himself, but at the same time, even with Jimin in front of him, he doesn't feel content. They've talked, but Yoongi feels like he didn't say anything.
And for the rest of the night, Jimin talks about plans for the future. And when Jimin has to leave, he hugs Yoongi tightly, and in his warm embrace, Yoongi thinks he can't see himself in Jimin's vacation plans because he isn't even sure he can handle the right now.
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"Hey!" A voice startles Yoongi. He looks over his shoulder and sees Jimin walking towards him.

Jimin looks beautiful, his hair is messy, but it gives him a natural sexy look. So different from how he looked when he came to Yoongi's apartment in the middle of the night.
"You said you know Jimin?" Yoongi turns to Minhyuk, the man that approached him some minutes ago.

"I don't know him personally," the man says.

"Here you are," Jimin stands next to Yoongi in the bar. Yoongi is sitting on a high stool; Jimin looks so much taller this way.
Jimin bows at Minhyuk and jumps behind Yoongi, he puts both his hands on Yoongi's shoulders, squeezing, and Yoongi tilts his head back, to playfully nudge at Jimin's chest. "You found a replacement so quickly," Jimin teases, and Yoongi shakes his head. No one can replace Jimin.
"Uh, let me introduce you two," Yoongi remembers there's someone else with them. "This is Minhyuk ssi; he's a model too."

Jimin smiles. "I think we don't know each other, but I've seen some of your photos in the company!"

Minhyuk chuckles. "I've seen your photos everywhere."
"I thought your friend Yoongi was a model too," the man says, and Jimin snorts. Yoongi feels both flustered by the compliment again but uneasy because of Jimin's reaction.

"He should be one!" Jimin says after some seconds, though, and he leans down to study Yoongi's face.
Yoongi's and Jimin's eyes meet, and the corner of Jimin's lip curls in a soft smirk (that only Jimin can manage to do). "He's pretty."

Jimin always praises him, but doing it while looking into his eyes makes Yoongi's heart race fast. Faster than when Minhyun complimented him.
"Yeah," Minhyuk agrees, and Yoongi is going to implode. Two models praising his looks and making him blush, he only chuckles nervously and reaches for his drink.

"Thank you," he mumbles before taking a large gulp of wine. "I mean, you two don't look human, but sure-"
Minhyuk laughs. "That's a compliment?"

Jimin doesn't react, he returns to his place behind Yoongi, and he starts toying with the hair on Yoongi's nape. "It is one," Yoongi says. He thinks of Jimin and murmurs, "out of this world beautiful."

He hears Jimin scoff.
"And how did you two meet each other?" Minhyuk asks, he's trying to continue his conversation with Yoongi, including Jimin now that he's here, and Yoongi feels flattered, but all he can think about is the way Jimin's nail scratch against his scalp.

"Wow, when we were children."
"Ah, I think it was during a break in primary school. I was eight and Jimin, six?" Jimin nods along with Yoongi's story. "Some kids were playing fights, and I was standing outside of the circle, cheering them on," Yoongi recalls. "And Jimin came up to me and crouched next to me."
"And he looked at me for a long moment with big eyes," Yoongi chuckles. "And he said that when I smiled, I looked like Wooper, the pokemon." Jimin trails his hands from Yoongi's nape to his shaky shoulder as Yoongi laughs, the soft touch giving Yoongi's goosebumps.
"I didn't call Yoongi for his name for so long!" Jimin giggles. "I think I spent all that year pointing at him during breaks and calling him 'Wooper sunbae,' and he would frown at me. The next year we both stayed after school for the soccer team, so we became friends."
Yoongi nods. "When Yoongi returned from his service, I had just finished high school, and I told him I was going to come to Seoul to study dance, and he came with me!" Jimin explains.

"And you work in music, right, Yoongi ssi?" Minhyuk focuses on Yoongi again.

"Yeah."
"When Jimin was training to be a dancer, I met a lot of people who were training to become idols, and through them, I got into music," Yoongi explains. "Into the business, specifically. I've always been into music." Yoongi turns to Jimin. "I actually wanted Jimin to be a singer."
"He has the most beautiful voice I've heard," Yoongi says honestly. "But umh," Yoongi looks over his shoulder and catches Jimin looking at him, blinking and lips slightly ajar. "He preferred dancing," Yoongi mumbles.

Minhyuk glances over at Jimin. "How did you end up modeling?"
"Ah, well I appeared on a music video as a backup dancer, and they gave me some scenes with the singer, and then my company told me that had been such a success, I had offers for modeling some clothing brands, and," Yoongi and Jimin look at each other. "My plans changed."
"And I think I'm pretty good at this modeling thing," Jimin laughs.

"Yeah," Minhyuk agrees while drinking from his glass of wine. "Don't you wanna dance again, though?"

Yoongi pouts a little and turns to Jimin; he knows it's a touchy subject for him. "Umh, well, someday."
Minhyuk hums. "I have a friend like you. He wanted to be an actor, but he ended up being a model; however, now that he's older, he's starting to act! So don't get discouraged; you might be able to dance later on or sing, like Yoongi ssi wishes."

Jimin's posture changes.
Jimin relaxes, and Yoongi thinks his smile is genuine. "Thank you." Yoongi offers Minhyuk a smile as well because his simple words made Jimin happy. "Do I know him? Is he from our company too?"

Minhyuk nods. "You must know him. Dongwook ssi? You've heard of him?"
Jimin squeals, and Yoongi is used to that reaction whenever he hears that name, so he only searches for his wine. His mood sours in a blink of a second. "Of course I know him! He's the most famous model of the company!" Jimin gushes, and Minhyuk laughs.

"He's my friend."
"When we both started here, he wasn't that famous," Minhyuk says. "Now, I think I only see him on TV or on advertisement billboards." Yoongi swallows a long gulp of wine, Minkyuk's words digging into his heart. "But, he started acting two years ago? It's never too late."
Jimin nods eagerly. "Yeah, it's true. But he's an excellent actor! I love his shows!"

"And you must be a good dancer," Minhyuk argues. "And singer, judging by Yoongi ssi's words." Yoongi is happy that someone is praising Jimin, but he's also angry at the Dongwook fanboying.
"Hey, Minhyuk ssi," Yoongi says suddenly. "Can I have your phone number?"

Jimin falls quiet at the question, and the fanboying stops. Yoongi feels better, but then he feels guilty for feeling better. Minkyuk glances between them before smiling at Yoongi. "Sure."
"Can we exchange numbers too, Jimin ssi?" Minhyuk says after he types down his name in Yoongi's phone.

Jimin stands straight and nods. "Yeah! Sure!" He waits a second before he smiles. "Maybe you can introduce me to Dongwook ssi!" Jimin teases, and Yoongi feels angry.
Minhyuk laughs at Jimin's words as he hands Jimin his phone, but he's looking at Yoongi. "You two are funny," he says, and Yoongi doesn't get it. But, of course, Yoongi doesn't want to get it. He only smiles politely before lifting his arm and settling it around Jimin's middle.
He squeezes once his hand settles on Jimin's waist. Jimin tenses at the touch, and he glances down at Yoongi from the corner of his eye. 'Let's go,' Yoongi mouths, and Jimin nods.

"Nice meeting you, Minhyuk ssi!" Minhyuk bows at them, and Yoongi and Jimin leave together.
"I left you for two minutes, and you were flirting with someone!" Jimin teases.

Yoongi glances at Jimin and scoffs. "I was not! We were talking." Jimin looks at him with a funny expression, and Yoongi has to laugh. "He tried to flirt, but nothing happened in the end."
"Nothing? You asked for his number!" Jimin recalls

"So he could intercede for you, and you could get a date with your crush," Yoongi retorts.

It makes Jimin laugh loudly, clashing against Yoongi. "Come on! That was not why you did it!" Yoongi smiles because Jimin sounds pretty.
"He's handsome," Jimin says once he's close to Yoongi. Not as handsome as Jimin, of course, but Yoongi doesn't say that.

"He's older than us," Yoongi murmurs. "Well, it's true that I like older men."

Jimin giggles more. "That's true; you do."

"So do you," Yoongi remembers.
"No! I don't," Jimin whines.

"Dongwook ssi is ten years older than you, if not more."

"Thirteen," Jimin corrects, and then he giggles. "But I don't like men that are so much older than me! He's just an exception." Yoongi scoffs. They're walking towards the exit of the bar.
Yoongi opens the door for Jimin, and Jimin smiles over his shoulder when he walks past him. "Two years older than me is fine. I think that's a good age."

If Yoongi didn't know better, he'd think Jimin was flirting with him. He smiles nonetheless and walks behind him.
Jimin intertwines their fingers together and sways their clasped hands like they were kids until they reach the elevator. Jimin checks his phone and smiles. "Okay, my driver is outside; I'll take you home."

"Alright," Yoongi murmurs.

"Thank you for coming with me."
"Thank you for asking me to come," Yoongi murmurs. "I hope I wasn't such an inconvenience."

"You were not! I like having you around," Jimin says. "I hope the event didn't bore you."

"It didn't." Yoongi is quiet after that, and he glances at Jimin, who is smiling to himself.
With each passing day, week, month, awkwardness is more evident between them, no matter how much they try for things to feel like they were before, and Yoongi knows it's because Jimin will eventually let go. He squeezes Jimin's hand silently, begging him to stay.
Jimin squeezes back, and he meets Yoongi's eyes. "What is it?"

Yoongi doesn't think it's okay to feel the way he does, so jealous of everyone around Jimin, so angry at Jimin for walking away, and this night together is proof that he won't fix it by coming to parties with him.
He needs to talk with Jimin and do it seriously, but he can't bring himself to do it because he doesn't know where to start or what to say. "Jimin, I- I deleted a message I was writing earlier today during the event."

Jimin blinks. "Ah yes, you typed and deleted."

"Yeah."
Jimin catches onto what Yoongi is trying to do, so he squirms closer. "What were you going to say?" Before Yoongi can say anything, the elevator door opens, and Jimin drags them outside, bowing to the people from Jimin's company waiting in the reception of the building.
They walk outside the building in silence because Yoongi doesn't answer, and Yoongi scoffs once the cold air of the night hits him because, on his left, there's a big billboard with Jimin's face and a perfume next to him.

"Oh, that. You didn't see it before?" Jimin giggles.
"No, I didn't," Yoongi says. "I was busy with my phone when we got here."

"It's weird to look at it," Jimin says. "Almost feels like it's not me up there." Yoongi stares at the advertisement. Seeing Jimin in stuff like that always made Yoongi's throat go dry.
He thinks Jimin in the advertisements and commercials and photographs looks amazing, but he prefers the Jimin standing next to him, holding his hand. But it's the Jimin up there, the one who will take Yoongi's Jimin away. "I think I look too beautiful," Jimin mumbles.
"They must have done something to my face in those editing programs," Jimin complains, and Yoongi turns to see him. The bright light of the billboard paints Jimin’s face, and Yoongi stares at him, at his pretty full lips and his tiny nose and his big shiny eyes.
Yoongi lifts his hand to Jimin's cheek without thinking twice, and he cups Jimin's face; Jimin looks surprised, and he looks away from his photograph on the billboard to stare at Yoongi.

Yoongi gives his back to the unreachable Jimin behind him and focuses on the one before him.
"I was going to tell you that you look beautiful tonight. When you texted me during the event, but I deleted it. I don't know why, maybe I thought you must be tired of hearing it all the time, or maybe I felt strange saying it; I don't know why since I've always told you."
"When you didn't believe it, I told you, and when you needed to hear it, I told you, and after every shooting when you had just started, I'd tell you, but now it feels weird to repeat it."

Jimin lifts his hand to cover Yoongi's hand on his face, and he leans into his touch.
"Because it's an overused phrase?" Jimin tries to guess. "That I look beautiful?"

"You don't look beautiful; you're beautiful," Yoongi correct, and Jimin closes his eyes and smiles.

"I like it when you say it, but I don't know why it's embarrassing," Jimin giggles softly.
He squirms until he can press his lips to Yoongi's palm, almost a kiss against his skin, and Yoongi tenses. But he sees a yellow light coming their way. Jimin's driver is parking next to them, and Yoongi doesn't want to get in the car and say goodbye in his apartment.
"Jimin," Yoongi murmurs. He glances at the driver, the man doesn't look at them, but he's still there.

"Mmh."

Jimin looks so fragile against Yoongi's hand, and Yoongi's heart is aching. "You know I love you, right?" he murmurs.

Jimin smiles. "I know; I love you too."
Yoongi sighs, he thinks that's what he wanted to say, but it doesn't feel just right. Friends love each other, but it's not all Yoongi wanted to say or all he feels. "I love you, and I'll make you come to all the parties in the world, so you don't think I'm leaving you behind."
Yoongi smiles, and he doesn't tell Jimin he doesn't want to go to any party; he only leans closer and leaves a soft kiss on Jimin's forehead. "What are you doing?" Jimin giggles.

"I'm going to walk home, okay?"

"Why?"

"I'm close, and I want to walk for a while."
"But I can take you," Jimin glances at the car. "Or I can walk with you," Jimin tries.

"No, don't worry, you should go home and have your beauty sleep. I just need some- I need some time alone," Yoongi murmurs. Jimin frowns, and he opens his mouth and closes it again.
"What happened?"

Yoongi leans in and opens the car door; he bows at Jimin's driver and tells him to drive safely. He can't do this anymore with Jimin; it's painful. "I'll talk to you later."

A long silence, and Jimin nods. "I'll see you soon?" Jimin asks.

"Yeah," Yoongi lies.
Jimin hugs Yoong tightly, he doesn't press for more, and he doesn't ask questions. He's too good of a friend for that.

After the car is gone, Yoongi stays in the street; he looks up at the billboard with Jimin's face. Yoongi is so small next to it, Jimin won't ever notice him.
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Yoongi picks up after a ring. "Are you really outside?"

Jimin stares at the closed door in front of him. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because there's something I need to tell you, and I wanted to tell you in person and not through text, so after thinking about it, I decided to come."
Jimin hears Yoongi groan through the phone, and he turns around, supporting himself on Yoongi's door. "Jimin, you can't show up like that. I told you last time."

"It doesn't matter, I'll go home. My driver is outside and it's not too late."

"It's not that," Yoongi complains.
Jimin stares at the light from the hallway when Yoongi sighs. "It's you showing up announced because you think I'm always going to be there." Jimin gulps at the words, and they hurt, and he bites his lower lip. "You think I should always be there, waiting for you."
Yoongi stops himself from talking, and Jimin hears him sigh. "What do you want to tell me? Let's talk."

"Are you with someone right now?"

Silence. "Why do you care?"

Jimin opens his mouth to take a deep breath. "Because I don't want to interrupt you if you're with someone.
Yoongi is quiet for a moment. Jimin doesn't hear music or other voices, but he still worries. He still wonders if Yoongi told another person to keep quiet while he's on the phone. "You're not interrupting anything. Just tell me what it is."

Jimin can't bring himself to speak.
He has a lump on his throat, and he doesn't think he can say what he wanted to say; he's discouraged. He doesn't want to talk to Yoongi this way, not when he's not here, and he sounds so- "Are you upset?"

Another silence. "What? No."

"Why are you lying?" Jimin mumbles.
"I'm not-"

"You are. You keep telling me you're alright, but you're not, and you keep telling me things are fine when they're not. Can you be honest with me? It's making me miserable! I told myself I'd wait for you to open up but you keep hurting me with the ghosting and-"
"And the way you talk to me and how you always step away, you say I'm the one drifting apart, but I keep trying for us to get close, and you keep pushing me away, and it hurts," Jimin mumbles. He looks up so tears won't fall down his eyes. "You're hurting me."

Yoongi is quiet.
"I'm hurting you?" Yoongi repeats. "Do you think how much you've hurt me?" Jimin's grip on his phone tightens. "Do you know how much it hurts when I don't get to be a part of your life, but I still have to be there at your disposition whenever you want?" Jimin covers his mouth.
"Or when all your colleagues and staff come up with different titles for me, even though I've been by your side for longer than them, and you don't correct them. And you don't tell them who I am." Tears slip down Jimin's face. "Guess I can't blame you because who am I to you?"
"I don't date anyone, I don't kiss anyone," Yoongi's voice cracks. "I go to your shootings, I wait in my apartment in case you show up if you get free time, I stand by the sidelines, waiting for you, cheering for you, looking over you, and you don't ever look at me."
But Jimin is always looking at him.

"And I'm so jealous Jimin," Yoongi cries. "I'm jealous of whoever sees you more than I do, and I'm jealous of the person you tell your good news first, and I'm jealous of whoever you're going to fall in love with, and I'll hate them."
Jimin lets out a sob, and he covers his face, and his hand shivers while holding the phone, but Yoongi keeps on talking. "And I hate that model; I can't even say his name. I hate him. I don't want you to have any photoshoot with him, and I hate myself for feeling that way!"
"I should be happy for you," Yoongi says. "But I can't! I'm not! That's why-" Yoongi cries, and Jimin wants to see him, and hold him tightly, and clean his face. "That's why I can't see you anymore, Jimin, I'm so toxic, and you don't deserve that. I don't want to feel this way."
Yoongi is quiet, and Jimin only hears him sobbing. He presses his back to Yoongi's door, and he cries too. "Yoongi, I love you," Jimin murmurs, and he can barely hear himself. He hears Yoongi chuckle, and Jimin whines, "where are you?"

"I'm not there."

"I'll wait for you."
"How close are you? Or I'll go find you."

"Jimin, I'm not going home tonight," Yoongi says. "I'm not going home tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after. I can't see you right now."

"Yoongi," Jimin rubs his eyes. He turns around and grabs the doorknob. "Let me in."
He pulls at the doorknob, and Yoongi must hear it. "I'm not there," he repeats. "Stop trying. You'll break the door."

"Yoongi," Jimin sobs.

"Jimin, I need time away from you."

"Yoongi, I love you," Jimin repeats, and he tries to open the door even if Yoongi isn't there.
Jimin presses his forehead to the door. This is not how he wanted to speak up; this is not how he expected this day to end; he expected Yoongi's smile and Yoongi's kisses and his embrace. "I'm in love with you; I get jealous too; I want you all to myself; I love you."
Yoongi is quiet for a long moment, and then he laughs, or cries, or both. "Jimin."

"Open the door," Jimin asks one more time.

"I'm not there," Yoongi whispers. "I need time." Jimin cries because what if he doesn't come back? What if he realizes he doesn't want Jimin anymore?
Yoongi should be happier; he should be coming over for Jimin unless- "Do you believe me?" Jimin asks.

"What?"

"When I say I love you? Do you believe me?" Yoongi is quiet, and it pains Jimin because he doesn't. Yoongi is so hurt, he doesn't believe Jimin's feelings.
Jimin pushes himself away from the door; he cleans his face, sniffles; he's in so much pain. He takes a deep breath. "I'll give you time, and after all the time you need, I'll still be in love with you, and you'll see. You'll see that I'm not lying." Yoongi doesn't reply.
"I'll be the one waiting, now," Jimin says. "Just like you always wait for a free slot on my busy schedule. Just- come to me when you can."

He hears Yoongi scoff, and Jimin closes his eyes, pictures him smile. "I love you, Jimin."

"I love you too," Jimin murmurs.
For the first time, in a long, long time spent together, in all the time they've known each other, and probably in all the time both of them have loved each other, Jimin feels like both of them said those three words differently. They mean it, every sense of the word 'love.'
gone Image
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now he types and delete ImageImageImageImage
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and then... Image
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advice pt.2 ImageImageImageImage
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and he’s online Image
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When Jimin is close to his house, it's late at night. It has been chaotic days since he had to convince his staff to make time on the weekend for him, and then he had to pack quickly and come all the way here; by the time he steps on the familiar street, he's tired.
He and Yoongi come back every year during Chuseok, so it's not like he feels a wave of nostalgia. Instead, he feels anticipation because he's going to see Yoongi soon after weeks of silence. But not right now, first, he'll go to his parents. They don't see him that often.
He stops at the door and sighs when he remembers Yoongi's words about him showing up unannounced. He wanted to surprise his parents, and he knows they're home because Jimin texted them asking them what they were having for dinner, complaining about missing his mother's cooking.
It's a different situation from what happened all those days ago in Yoongi's apartment. A lot has changed from that day. Still, Jimin is nervous when he takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. He fixes the bag on his shoulders, pulls his face mask down, and waits.
A smile grows on his face when the door opens, and he sees his mother. Her face changes from confusion to surprise. "Jimin?"

"Hi!" He says, and he walks inside with ease. She's dumbfounded, and he closes his eyes when she pulls him into a hug.

"What are you doing here?"
Jimin hugs her back tightly. "Mmh, I had something to do around here." She smells nice, and Jimin notices she's a little dressed up for a Thursday night.

She pushes back to stare at his face, "what?"

"Something," Jimin says, and she seems suspicious but doesn't say anything.
She takes a step back, and Jimin takes off his boots. "You look skinny," she scolds, and Jimin laughs.

"No way. I hadn't noticed." She doesn't say anything about his sarcastic tone; instead, when Jimin takes off his coat, he sees her smiling. "What?"

"I'm happy you're here."
Jimin feels warm, and he hugs her one more time. "I'm going to take my stuff upstairs, okay? I'll be staying until Monday. Is that okay?"

"You should stay longer," she says, and Jimin brushes her hair.

"Maybe next time. I brought wine and stuff for you and dad." She hums.
"Where is he, by the way?" Jimin asks as he steps into the house. He looks into the hallway, but the living room is empty.

"Ah, he's in the kitchen, washing dishes."

"Alright, I'll leave this and say hi, don't tell him it was me at the door!" She takes a second to nod.
Jimin enters his old room and smiles when he throws his bag on the bed. He's not nostalgic, but maybe because he's thinking so much of Yoongi, he remembers hanging out with him here a lot; he remembers kissing girls from school and having sleepovers with boys from his class.
Jimin is in a good mood when he opens the door, but once he steps outside, he stops in his tracks and takes a second to process what he sees. Standing in the hallway right outside his room, Yoongi waits for him. He's wearing a black sweater, and his eyes widen when he sees Jimin.
"What?" Jimin squeaks.

Yoongi smiles softly and lifts a hand to his hair, and he ruffles it like he does when he's nervous. Jimin remembers many times when he had opened the door of his room to let Yoongi inside when they were younger, but for some reason, this feels different.
After some days ago, when Jimin tried to open a door when no one was on the other side, it sure feels different. "Your mom told me to come upstairs-"

Jimin melts when he hears his voice; he takes a step closer to him, needing to be close to him after all that happened.
But then he pouts. "She ruined my surprise! I wanted to surprise you!"

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head before moving closer to Jimin too. "No, no," he says, and he lifts his hands to touch Jimin, but in the end, he doesn't. "Well, she did." Jimin makes a small pained sound.
"She had a good reason," Yoongi tries. "It would have been strange to have this meeting in front of your parents," he chuckles. Jimin waits for Yoongi to touch, but since he doesn't, he's the one to close the distance between them and bring his hands to Yoongi's shoulders.
Jimin throws his arms around Yoongi's shoulders, and Yoongi finally wraps his arms around Jimin's middle to complete the hug. "What are you doing here?" Jimin asks.

"I came to visit your parents."

"Why?" Jimin laughs.

"Why not? They wanted to have dinner with me."
"What do you talk about with them if I'm not here?" Jimin giggles.

"We talk about you," Yoongi answers quickly. Then he looks into Jimin's eyes and smiles, "well, I talk about you to everyone." Jimin feels so giddy, and he glances at Yoongi's lips before he laughs.
"Why are you laughing?" Yoongi asks, and he leans closer to Jimin. Their foreheads press together, and when Jimin shifts slightly, their noses bump, and it's cute, and it feels right.

"Nothing, I'm happy," Jimin replies.

"I'm happy too," Yoongi murmurs. "I'm happy you're here."
"I was afraid you wouldn't like it if I showed up without letting you know," Jimin admits. "Last time you said you don't like that."

"But it's different now," Yoongi assures Jimin as he moves one hand to cup Jimin's face like he had done many nights ago in the street.
He rubs his thumb against Jimin's cheek. "You won't leave before the night ends, as you've done all those times before. Now you search for me because you'll stay, right?" Jimin nods quickly.

"I'll stay with you."

"Okay, then you can show up unannounced anytime you want, Jimin."
Jimin leans into his touch, he turns and kisses Yoongi's palm again, but this time he doesn't feel melancholic when he does it. "I'll forgive her for ruining my surprise," Jimin whispers. "I don't know how my dad would have reacted if he saw me kissing you right in the kitchen."
Yoongi laughs, his eyes crinkle, his shoulders shake, and he lowers his head. Jimin thinks he's the prettiest. He stares at with him a wide smile plastered on his face. When Yoongi glances up and meets Jimin's eyes, his expression changes as he notices Jimin isn't only joking.
They look at each other for a never-ending second. The sound of their laughter disappearing, and only their breathing is left. Jimin looks at Yoongi as he had always done, and Yoongi looks at him with the same love as always, and then Yoongi surges forward, catching Jimin's lips.
Jimin kisses him back, as he had thought of doing for a long time. He threads his fingers through Yoongi's hair, and he opens his mouth. So much better than Yoongi's apartment in Seoul, or the street with a billboard with his face on it- kissing Yoongi back home is a dream.
They're smiling into the kiss, and whenever Yoongi pulls back, Jimin goes after him until they share a couple of pecks and then break apart. Yoongi is blushing, and he fixes his glasses before tilting Jimin's head again and kissing him one more time. "I'm so happy," he murmurs.
Jimin giggles, and he looks at Yoongi, at his wet lips and pink cheeks and bright eyes before hugging him tightly like he always does. But, this time, he says aloud what was always on his mind whenever he held Yoongi this way. "Don't ever leave me."

A beat of silence. "I won't."
Jimin's dad is surprised when he sees Jimin, and then Jimin complains to his mother about ruining his surprise for Yoongi. They don't ask them what happened between the two, but they can probably tell because Yoongi keeps leaving his hand on Jimin's shoulder or waist.
They were probably waiting for it to happen too. "I didn't tell you Yoongi was here because he told us you were going to see each other on Monday, so I knew something was up, and I didn't want to intervene," Jimin's mother says.

"You intervened! Told him to go upstairs!"
"To give you time alone!" She says, and Jimin rolls his eyes. Yoongi is flustered next to him. He's used to Jimin's family, he stayed here for countless sleepovers, and they all sat together when Yoongi and Jimin decided to move together to Seoul. But he still blushes.
He's flustered, but Jimin's parents aren't. It seems like Yoongi and Jimin's relationship fits just right into their lives; no one finds it strange or surprising. Yoongi and Jimin still need to talk about their feelings, but everything seems to be going well so far.
When the night comes, Jimin and Yoongi are standing at the entrance. Jimin's parents said Yoongi could stay over, but he kept saying he didn't want to impose. "You should stay," Jimin tries again. "We'll have a sleepover as you wanted!"

"Jimin," Yoongi murmurs.
He looks around to make sure Jimin's parents aren't close. "It's embarrassing to sleep in your room when your parents are here."

Jimin scoffs. "We're adults!"

"Exactly why. I'm just going to walk home," Yoongi checks his phone. It's a thirty-minute walk. Jimin pouts.
"Stay," Jimin pulls at Yoongi's clothes. "Please." Yoongi forces himself to look away from Jimin's pleading eyes. "Please, please, please," Jimin uses his whining voice then.

"It's not a big bed. You won't be able to rest."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "And? Come on! It'll be fun."
"You don't need your beauty sleep?" Yoongi whispers when he brings a hand to cup Jimin's face.

"No! I don't care about beauty sleep," Jimin mumbles. "I want to be with you."

Yoongi chuckles and recalls, "last time you didn't want to stay with me when I asked." Jimin stiffens.
Yoongi scrunches his face and murmurs, "that came out with a lot more spite than I expected."

"No, it's fine," Jimin murmurs. "If you're spiteful, you should say it because otherwise, we won't heal from that." Yoongi nods slowly; he seems a little ashamed, so Jimin kisses him.
They don't break apart. Instead, Jimin smiles while his lips brush against Yoongi's. "Last time, at your apartment, I didn't stay over because sleeping in the same bed as you made me shy."

Yoongi laughs. "You're joking."

"I'm not!"

"But we've shared a bed so many times."
"You looked handsome," Jimin murmurs. "And my breath was going to stink of ramen the next day, and I didn't want that." Yoongi laughs, his eyes gone into crescents, and Jimin twists the fabric of his sweater.

"I don't care about that stuff," Yoongi says. "You're my best friend."
Jimin giggles. "Your best friend. Is that what I am? I don't know if I should be thinking of kissing my best friend so much?"

He makes Yoongi chuckle. "What do you wanna be?" He presses their lips together again in a slow kiss.

"Yours," Jimin murmurs, and Yoongi groans.
"Okay, I'll stay," Yoongi decides, and Jimin beams; he loves winning.

"Cuddles and talk?" Jimin looks over his shoulder when he starts going up the stairs.

"Yeah, cuddles and talk," Yoongi repeats. When they reach the hallways, Yoongi pulls Jimin into a tight back hug.
Jimin squeaks at the sudden attack, and they walk the rest of the short way hugging each other. They don't get to talk much because when they lay on the bed, Jimin wearing silk pajamas he brought with him and Yoongi with boxers and a shirt he grabbed from Jimin's bag, they kiss.
Jimin thinks they have to make up for all the years where they didn't confess their feelings or the years where they weren't aware of their feelings, starting from here, in their childhood bed. They fell in love in this room without knowing, but they finally know.
When Jimin wakes up, he notices they moved in their sleep until his back is pressed to Yoongi's chest. Yoongi is hugging him tightly -almost like afraid Jimin would slip away- and it makes sense, so Jimin squirms closer to him. "Morning," Jimin whispers, trying to look at him.
Jimin yawns, and after rubbing his eyes, he giggles. Yoongi looks cute when he wakes up, and Jimin finds himself smiling; they twist in bed until Yoongi can lay on his back and cover his face with his arm. "I'm tired." Jimin plops on his chest.

"Let's stay here today."
"In bed?" Yoongi murmurs; he brings a hand to pet the back of Jimin's head, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah."

Yoongi is quiet for a moment, and he looks away before he lowers his hand from Jimin's head to his neck, down his spine. Jimin shivers and bites his lower lip.
But then Yoongi turns to see him. "I can hear your parents downstairs." Jimin focuses and hears them moving in the kitchen.

"Does that make you shy?"

"I don't want them to overhear us."

Jimin giggles. "We were kissing yesterday, and you didn't worry about that."
"They were sleeping," Yoongi whispers. "Listen, I hear your dad laughing." Jimin snorts.

"You hear him laughing because he's being loud; while you're whispering, they won't hear you."

"Mmh," Yoongi scrunches his nose cutely, and Jimin kisses his face: cheeks and nose.
Yoongi closes his eyes and lets Jimin kiss him until he gets flustered and pushes Jimin away lightly. "Do you want to talk?" Jimin asks while looking into Yoongi's eyes.

"Yeah, we should. And I feel better now; I'm ready."

"I feel better too. I'm calm enough to talk."
Yoongi takes a deep breath before unpacking all there is between them. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted that day you went to look for me. I think everything piled up to that moment, and then I was so upset about everything. I was cold to you, and I didn't try to fix anything."
Jimin pouts. "I'm sorry I drove you to that point. For so long, I've treated you like my boyfriend without calling you my boyfriend, and while still ignoring my feelings for you out of fear of losing you, so I think that confusion took a toll on us." Yoongi nods slowly.
"Yeah, I never knew what I was getting from you, but all I wanted was for you to acknowledge me," Yoongi murmurs. "I feel like you've taken me for granted, and I felt like I was replaceable."

Jimin shakes his head. "You're not. I'm sorry I made you feel like you were."
"I think that now that we don't have to guard our words around the other, everything will be easier. Not easy but easier." Jimin hums and hides against Yoongi's neck. "I want to be part of your life and hear from you like what you did when you let me know you'd post that photo."
"That was nice." Jimin pays attention. "And you coming here during the weekend, taking a small break for me, to talk to me, that's nice too."

"Because you're my priority," Jimin mumbles.

"I like that. I think I felt like you were my priority, but I wasn't yours."
"And I know you're the main character, you're the famous model with the fancy hectic life, and I'm a supporting character, an extra in your story," Yoongi chuckles. "So I know you can't focus so much on me or make me your priority-"

"But you are! I love you so much!"
"You're so important to me, Yoongi," Jimin reminds him. "I always want to see you, and I always want to be close to you, and I'd do so much for you! I'm sorry I haven't made you feel that way lately, but I promise from now on I will."

Yoongi blushes bright red. "Okay."
"I don't want to justify myself, but I think that ignoring my feelings for so long took me to a place where I did things wrongly. We both did! You'd ghost me and resent me, and I'd get jealous, and I wanted to keep you secluded for me, and that was bad for both of us."
"I don't know, I didn't correct my staff because I couldn't say you were my boyfriend, you weren't, I had to say you're my friend, but then someone would ask if we're dating or if you're single, and I didn't want to have those conversations, so instead I'd say nothing!"
Their eyes meet, and Jimin smiles. "But I'm over saying nothing. So now, I'm going to say what I feel when I feel it because you make me feel safe enough to do so. And I hope you feel that too, hyung."

Yoongi leans in to slide his lips against Jimin's. "I'm in love with you."
Jimin giggles but tries his best to kiss him back. "You're starting now with the honesty?"

"You're so beautiful and so smart and kind," Yoongi whispers between kisses. "And sexy."

"Hyung!" Jimin shrieks.

"I'm so lucky," Yoongi moves to Jimin's neck, and Jimin is squirming.
"I'm so lucky you love me back," Yoongi adds before he kisses Jimin's neck. The words make Jimin's heart race fast. Because Yoongi believes his feelings or because Yoongi's feelings are as overwhelming as Jimin's.

"You have no idea how in love I am with you," Jimin adds.
Jimin squeaks again when Yoongi flips him on the tiny bed, and he hovers over Jimin to kiss his lips. Jimin deepens the kiss, throws his arms around Yoongi's neck, and spreads his legs so Yoongi can settle between them. They touch everywhere between loving words.
They stop when they hear a sound from downstairs. Yoongi detaches himself from Jimin's body, and Jimin whines at a loss. "What is it?"

"Do you think they heard us?" Yoongi mumbles.

"No," Jimin whispers. He focuses on listening. "I think my dad is going to work."
Indeed, they hear the engine of a car in some seconds. "It was the main door," Jimin says. "He's leaving."

"Going to work..." Yoongi whispers. He laughs afterward, cute shy gummy smile.

"What's so funny?"

"I feel like a teenager." Jimin giggles, too, because it's true.
"Sneaking kisses in your room," Yoongi whispers before leaving a peck on Jimin's lips. "With your parents out there," he laughs, and Jimin thinks he has never heard something as pretty.

"We're high school sweethearts," Jimin teases.

"On our own way," Yoongi agrees.
"Like ten years after high school, but sure," Yoongi smiles brightly, and Jimin pulls him down for more kisses. "We can be high school sweethearts."

"I like it," Jimin admits. "It fits us. I think we were in love even back then."

"I think we were," Yoongi kisses Jimin.
Jimin forgets about everything outside this room as he melts into Yoongi's embrace. They kiss one more time, many times, and they smile, and Jimin is happy. Then he'll have to return, but for now, he only wants Yoongi. And it seems like everything will be fine now.
❤️
Jimin holds Yoongi's arm at some point, and Yoongi breaks their kiss to look at him. "Yoon, you know, Jungkook said something before I came here."

"Mmh?" Yoongi hums softly, and he's so close Jimin feels his chest rumbles. Jimin blushes, and he whispers it to Yoongi's ear. "Oh."
❤️the end❤️
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