Left, May 5, 2020.
Right, June 8, 2021.

Q: Why did you save that old picture?

If you're undergoing any change in your body, keep old photos. I have days where my brain lies to me and tells me I am just as fat as before, am worthless etc. I can quickly prove myself wrong.
Q: You say you don't believe in long term weight loss, why try?

My weight was artificially high on the left for a variety of reasons. Chronic pain, inaccessible living conditions meaning my ex did everything for me, major depression and stress. (1/)
I'm not counting calories or on any diet. I'm just not stress eating or eating for emotional reasons anymore. Also, going from "lol I lay in bed all day and sometimes don't get up for literal weeks, taking baths and shitting right here" to "I have no caregivers anymore." (2)
Q: Are you trying to lose more weight?


Q: Why? You still look fat to me.

I am fat. My weight on the left was very bad for my health. I had breathing problems, especially sleeping. I couldn't pee sitting up because my fat literally blocked the urinary tract. (1/)
I also had high blood pressure. I'm glad I'm no longer morbidly obese and have no further weight related health issues. Due to childhood trauma around dieting I struggle w/counting calories & easily revert to ED behaviors. It's healthier for me to be fat than starving myself. (2)
Q: Are you insinuating I ought to lose weight?

Do you have severe OI? Then no. Do what you want. I have deformities like short stature, scoliosis, very short neck, etc., all of which caused my weight to affect my health before it'd affect someone without my genetic problems.
Q: Wait, you were morbidly obese?

Yes. On the left my body fat percentage, as determined by a DEXA scan, was 45%. Meaning, for every pound I weighed, half were 100% pure body fat. A doctor of nutrition estimated that if I were a 6' tall man I'd weigh 370lbs, perhaps more.
Q: I still think you should lose more weight.

I don't care. If it happens it happens. I plan to be more active this summer. Could happen. If it doesn't though I'm happy where I am. Mind your own business. 😊
Q: Uh...you're wearing pants on the left right?

Yes. Briefs. I was as shocked as you when they didn't appear on camera πŸ“· lol

Q: How did you let yourself get that fat?

It's so weird. When I was that weight it took a huge reality check of coming back to USA to realize it. (1/)
I didn't *feel* that fat. I could see myself sure but I felt like there are fatter people & anyway I have all these interviews and work to do, how can I prioritize my weight? Besides maybe I can't do anything about it. All the small adaptations you make are gradual as well. (2/)
It's like, oh, now I need men's 2XL pants. And a diuretic. And my pain is worse but my doctor will just up my script. I'll buy a bigger wheelchair seat to keep riding with Hitomi. Oh now I have to lay down to pee, whatever, the chair reclines. Huh, I need tailored clothes. (3/)
Well, sucks that I'm struggling to breathe laying down but I'll just use pillows. I can't move that easily but it was never easy. I'm getting winded from just talking for a few hours, maybe I'm just tired. Etc etc. It doesn't all happen at once. (4/)
Also childhood trauma was a big part of it. I was a thin child but my aide told me I was too heavy to lift & taught me ED behaviors. I was taught to eat 2 granola bars per day, broken in little pieces to feel less hungry. Drink water only. Weigh myself daily in front of her (5/)
I was scared to even try to lose weight due to this. I was afraid of reverting. Therapy helped me accept that small changes, like not emotionally eating, and getting up more, were enough. And also even if I didn't end up thin, that's not the goal anyway, my health is. (6)

β€’ β€’ β€’

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Fredrick Brennan

Fredrick Brennan Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @fr_brennan

9 Jun
the Trump administration taught us something important: if there's ever a fascist coup in the US, the BBC, Australian Broadcasting Corporation, CBC, and every other Western state-owned enterprise will cover it in the same dull tones they do everything else
so will the New York Times, before the fascists bust down their doors, of course

the Washington Post will probably be the most defiant, like always, but it won't do anything and their media peers will sneer at them. but even their defiance will be somehow both-sidesist.
the other organizations, that is, The Atlantic, etc., will respond in varying degrees.

the corporate outlets will sensationalize it (CNN, ITV) before the fascists come for the American ones too. FOX will celebrate and claim the Republic still exists and it's all fake news.
Read 25 tweets
9 Jun
Did you know you can use `vim` to write out partial buffers?

Consider this situation. You only want the beautiful four emoji on line 7, not the junk.
Well, you can do :7, V for visual line…
Then :w!|e!, which due to being in visual line mode automatically expands to :'<,'>w!|e!

Read 4 tweets
9 Jun
the source image for this animation can be expressed as grayscale
using the alpha channel you can reclaim the background

convert pakshet.gif -coalesce null: pakshet.png -compose CopyOpacity -layers composite pakshet_t.gif

pakshet_t.gif now contains:
Read 4 tweets
9 Jun
It's extremely depressing to me that when philosophers look back and write about this era they're going to have to say that the most popular self-described philosophers of this era, such as Jordan Peterson, did nothing approaching philosophy.
And most likely the philosophers that they will remember best we don't even know the names of.

Maybe even some old WordPress blog will be rediscovered and people unironically be talking about the "supremely important research done by gamerdemon666".
Walters, Bill (2053). What gamerdemon666 Got Right. London: Oxford Journal of Philosophy. Volume 330, Issue 1, pages 20-50.
Read 4 tweets
9 Jun
Oh shit one of my neighbors just tried to dump their baby on a grandparent and is getting chewed out

"Is 9 o clock! You don't leave that child here at 9 o clock! Come get your damn baby! I ain't watching yo[ur] fucking baby tonight! Come here now! I swear to God I'll call DCF!"
"Lord help me I'll call DCF! Lord help me! Come here!"

[Didn't hear response]

"Lie! Come here!"

"Okay relax momma I'm coming"

"Mmhmm that's right. Get your damn baby out my house right now. I didn't raise you like this. He not a crack baby you just leave on my door step."
"Stop momma the neighborhood can hear you"

"You be a better (parent?) then"
Read 4 tweets
8 Jun
I love the weird shit I find when clicking through related images on Google Images. What the fuck even is this πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
There are so many versions of it.
I think I found a teacher's guide

Note: You may not like the goal that they choose πŸ’€
Read 9 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!