Thread by @genderisharmful

A thread for people to share with friends & family or anyone who is clueless about what is happening with gender, laws & our everyday understanding of a variety of issues.

A lot has been happening & while some think of themselves as ‘progressive’, they probably aren’t. 1/

The aim here is to demonstrate how far down the line we have gone, with regards to ‘inclusion’ and how, at some point, many people may be suddenly faced with a scenario they weren’t expecting and be somewhat shocked.

A bit of a ‘boiled frog’ kind of situation. 2/

So – I will try and be as balanced as possible, but equally, I want to show how unsustainable self-ID is and how, long term, it will lead to many more problems than it solves.

I will list some scenarios that most could find themselves in & use an image to accompany. 3/

1. Imagine, you take your daughter to a Spa & you’re in the women’s bathing area. You both see somebody walking towards you, face with a beard & penis included. You’re instinct is to think, ‘wait what?!’

What do you do? Do you say something?

It’s transphobic to ask, so…🤷
4/

…the lesson from this scenario is, how do you know if this is someone just wanting to get on with their life or someone who is taking advantage of a situation?

You can’t ask. According to trans people, the only person who truly knows, is the bearded, penis owner.
5/

2. Your lesbian friend has joined a dating app & she’s goes out to meet her first date. Late that evening, she calls you, struggling to speak because she’s sobbing. Her date had been going ok but at some point, she noticed a protruding lump down below in her date’s clothes.
6/

As she struggles to speak, she eventually explains that she panicked because she didn’t expect her date to have an erection & now she feels really bad, because the date became upset & stormed off.

She confessed she was repulsed by the erection because…she’s a lesbian.
7/

What do you do?

Do you support your friend? You know her well, she’s lovely & accepting, not at all ‘exclusionary’.

Do you attempt to ‘re-educate’ her?

Some trans people would call her a bigot, or immoral because,

“genital preferences are tooted in transphobia”.
8/

3. You walk into some women's public toilets and see a broad shouldered, person with plenty of facial hair, standing at the mirrors, checking their face.

You instinctively slow down & hesitate. You hear a small girl & her mother in one of the cubicles.
9/

You thought you were going to say something, but change your mind, thinking, ‘what if they become aggressive?’

Then you think, ‘transwoman’?

But how do you know? You aren’t allowed to ask, because, “they know better than you”.

And you shouldn’t stare because…
10/

4. You need to go for a mammogram at the local hospital. When you finally go into the appointment, the person who is to examine you and handle your breasts clearly has a deep, male voice.

You are taken aback & stumble to say something, but it doesn’t quite come out.
11/

Well – if you did, it could be seen as transphobic.

Just look at what happened to this woman who had made it clear she wanted a female to assist her.

Her letter was then used as an example of transphobia by the hospital trust in their ‘Trans-Guidelines’.
12/

5. You have a friend who has experienced the most horrendous domestic violence & sexual abuse at the hands of her ex-partner.

She needs to find a safe place with appropriate help so you research rape crisis shelters for her.
13/

You finally find somewhere and she arrives safe and well.

Later that night, she calls you in a bit of a state. She says she can hear a male’s voice but can’t work out where it's coming from & wonders if she's just traumatised & hearing things.

You try to reassure her.
14/

She calls you again at a later point, stressing about the place. She says she thought the shelter was women only, but she can’t stop thinking about the voice & possibility of a man being present in the shelter.

What do you do?
15/

Do you ask the shelter about their policy?

If you do & they say, it’s definitely women only…do you push further?

How do they know this isn’t someone taking advantage? It’s transphobic to ask.

How does anyone know for sure? Especially as it’s against their dignity to ask.
16/

Of course, if rape crisis shelters ever did try to make their building, strictly female only with no self-ID, they could expect to be defunded, as many have and in one case, in Canada, have death threats daubed on windows along with a dead rat nailed to the entrance.
17/

If this thread helps people to get some perspective, I’m happy to do some more scenarios and add them here. 18/

*rooted

6. You are a teacher in a college & work with an ethnically diverse range of disabled learners. Some learners find it hard to navigate the building due to physical difficulties and need to use toilets which are closest to them.
19/

One day, one of your female Muslim learners approaches you in an agitated state. She manages to explain that there appears to be a male in the women's toilets. When she looked shocked, the other person said, "I'm allowed to be in here".

20/

At a loss for words, you assure her you will try to find out what is going on.

It becomes apparent, the other person self-identifies as a woman & as per the college policy, is using the toilets of their choice.

You look into the policy further to find out more details.
21/

The policy is clear, that toilets can be used by those who identify as that 'sex'. What's more, if someone else has a concern about it, it is *they* who are "permitted" to use a different facility.

But your learner finds it hard to walk far around the building. 🤷
22/

Then, you notice another reference in the policy...notably, that if you even so much as raise a concern about a transgender colleague/person, you will be seen as a bully & harassing of trans people.

Worse still - any "failure to...work cooperatively" could have you sacked. 23/

7. Your daughter has her own device and has been on social media for a year or so already. She has a Facebook account and regularly accesses a range of other social media forums. You're connected with her on FB and occasionally you keep track of what she & her friends post. 24/

One day, you notice one of her friends posting a number of memes with the statement, "SHUT THE FUCK UP TERF" in them. One or two of them are quite violent, with a gun pointing.

A little concerned about this, you wonder if you should say something about it. 25/

But as you double check the comments under the post (your daughter has yet to react/respond), you notice 1 girl as objected, saying the memes seem a little 'aggressive'.

The poster replies by telling her to "fuck off bitch" & issues a threat for the next time she see her. 26/

You hesitate again, not knowing what to do. You're not quite sure if your daughter agrees with the sentiments of the poster, but equally, you're not sure whether to intervene and say something for fear of your daughter being targetted. 27/

8. You're browsing the news & stumble across a harrowing news article about a paedophile who accessed thousands of child abuse images.

But you're confused...the image/name of the paedophile most definitely appears to be a male, but the article refers to 'woman' & 'she'. 28/

You dig further & find other, published pieces about the same person & find that they have also referred to the criminal as 'she/her' & 'woman'.

What do you do? Do you complain about it? You know enough to know that if you do, you might be called a bigot. 29/

9. Your best friend has been through a difficult time in her life, where she was involved in an abusive relationship with a man. She developed PTSD as a result of the abuse & trauma & as her life became more chaotic, she eventually went to prison for a petty crime. 30/

As you are the only reliable person in her life, you regularly keep in touch with her & visit while she's inside.

One day, she explains to you that there is a new prisoner who has caused a stir, chiefly, because the prisoner is a male. Rumours abound over what the crime was.
31/

While the male prisoner is about, there is a sense of nervousness in the females. Your friend explains that she is really quite terrified. It seems after exiting her abusive relationship, it's left her feeling anxious around males.

What do you do? How do you reassure her? 32/

10. Your daughter is very sporty. At school, she has broken longstanding records for the 400m race and she has a realistic chance of qualifying for the 'English Schools' athletics finals.

One day, she returns from competing in a competition and appears despondent. 33/

You see she seems depressed and ask her if she's okay.

She explains that there is a new competitor who has emerged in the 400m. From a neighbouring town, the athlete is male but identifies as a girl and will be competing in the next county championships. 34/

She heard about it while talking with her friends, who said that rumour had it, the athlete was smashing previous records with times that were clearly out of her reach.

She now realises, that she may have had a chance of being a champion - but now that seems unrealistic. 🤷35/

11. It's the summer holidays & as part of your plan to entertain your young kids (3 & 5) for the 6 weeks period, you take them to an event at the local library.

As you walk in, there is a buzz of excitement, as parents & kids settle down for the reading time. 36/

Then, to nervous gasps and jittery/stifled giggles, a person in a multi-coloured monkey outfit runs out with a huge mock penis dangling between its legs.

Most of the children look confused (as do the parents), one or two laugh, but a few react with terror & begin to cry. 37/

Nobody quite knows what to do. One father promptly gets up to 'shoo' the monkey person away from the area. This seems to unsettle the kids more, because of the added tension between their parents & the bepenised monkey. Your own kids are a bit freaked out out so you leave 38/

Afterwards however, you notice that the event has been widely broadcast on social media, to the outrage of many.

You also notice that a trans-identifying person responds by accusing those who have a problem with it, of holding suspect views & shouldn't be near any kids. 39/

You were going to complain, but now you are anxious about having the tables turned on you.

You were adamant that you wanted to protect your kids from something that seemed inappropriate & which scared them, but equally, you don't want to be accused of being a risk to kids. 40/

As news spreads about the incident, it begins to dawn on you, what really happened and what your kids witnessed. 41/