Processing this DOJ report that finally tells what we all already knew. What I strongly suspected was taking place before I even came forward. The dynamics that *prompted me* to come forward so publicly and openly.
So many emotions...
The depth of betrayal - survivors get asked "why didn't you report?" and those who did hear "if it was true they would have done something."
Let it be said clearly today - this is why survivors don't report. Because the very people tasked with protection so often don't.
I will never forget wrapping myself up in a blanket to read the IndyStar story that had my name and face and details videod and catalogued for the world, and for the first time seeing USAG allege that they had reported Larry more than a year and a half earlier. . .
I thought I might throw up. For a moment I wondered if I had just upended the lives of my family, parents, children, myself, for nothing. Then I looked at the date and realized what that meant.
I remembered sitting at MSU PD, talking with Andrea. Larry was still a doctor. Getting the email from her the next day that he was still treating little girls every day and denied everything. That meant he was still abusing. I called Andrea immediately - how was this possible?
"It's not adding up Rachael. The documentation doesn't add up." At that moment I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything I had been afraid was taking place - botched investigations, outright coverup, really had been.
I had expected to find it, and we did. Almost immediately. Every interview I did and the 60 Minutes team I spent hours with on background, told me the same thing "the FBI's story doesn't add up. Something is rotten."
So much betrayal.
For six years the facts have trickled out. The level of failure, corruption, collusion. The absolute lack of value for the athletes who reported and the little girls suffering at Larry's hands every single day. We have waited for six years for someone to admit what we knew.
For the past six years the FBI has continued to lie about what they did. The DOJ took six years to investigate. It took immense public pressure for this report to be released.
And what is the result?
What happens to these agents who lied? Who never bothered to even document the reports? Who never so much as opened an official investigation? What happens to the supervisor who wined and dined with Penny and got a job offer instead of stopping a pedophile?
Nothing.
Nothing happens to them. Over 100 little girls were sexually abused by Larry because of these agents. Lives were upended because the only way to stop Larry was to come forward so publicly. Athletes who reported were essentially told they didn't matter.
And nothing happens now.
There is no accountability. No criminal charges. No justice. No restitution for the damage they caused. No punitive actions.
This report lays bare the corruption, but it's conclusion says "doesn't matter". Because nothing happens now.
The rest of us are left with the lifelong consequences, and already bore the cost of pushing for the truth. And these agents retire on government pensions while survivors fight to stay alive.
Nothing happens now.
Here's what you need to ask:
Ask what you don't see.
If this could be done to Olympians, and it took six years of massive public pressure and hundreds of victims pushing for the truth, to even uncover it, what do you NOT see?
What about the survivors that don't have that voice, support, and ability?
Ask why the Indianapolis PD hasn't been investigated. Ask how Steve Penny could know that he could pick up the phone, call the head of the child sex abuse division, and get that detective's help trying to quash the IndyStar story. Ask how Penny knew he could do that.
Ask why the IN AG has refused to investigation the IMPD for inserting itself into the Nassar investigation and attempting to stop the story.
Ask why that detective got a promotion instead of a reprimand.
Ask what we don't see yet.
Ask what is happening to other survivors.
Ask what needs to change to hold corrupt and bad-acting law enforcement accountable.
There's a reason I expected to find these dynamics. There is a reason we did find them.
Ask what we have to change for there to be accountability and justice with bad actors who are LEO's.
Ask if maybe what we see here is why out of every 300 rapes reported to police, only approximately 6 result in criminal charges. Non-rape sexual assault statistics are even worse.
It doesn't work like Law and Order SVU.
Ask what has to be done to stop this.
There is a reason I expected to find gross negligence and outright corruption.
There is a reason we DID find it.
Ask what has to change so this doesn't happen again.
Read the full report here. Ask what we still don't see.
This ruling doesn't protect only Catholics, despite confession not being sacramental in most other denominations the way it is for Catholics. Further, we have regularly recognized that simply because someone firmly believes something does not mean it is automatically protected...
Honor killings, for example, or smoking illegal drugs during a religious ceremony.
The idea that there are NO limits to religious expression so long as it's a core doctrine has never been accepted in this country or by any reasonable person.
"No limits as long as it's a core belief" was never embedded in our Constitution, nor in our culture. We have always recognized limits.
No, we aren't moving on from the Epstein Files. We aren't moving on from trafficking and child rape. And no, @realDonaldTrump, we aren't buying the idea that the files never existed, or were faked by Obama, or whatever new story you come up with.
We see you.
We remember "Katie Johnson", who sued you for forcible rape, alleging that when she was 13 years old you and Jeffery Epstein violently assaulted her at four events in Epstein's home in 1994.
We remember "Katie".
We remember Stacey Williams, who alleged you assaulted her in 1993, while Epstein watched.
We remember that in 2017, Epstein himself told journalist Michael Wolffe, that he'd been your closest friend for ten years.
Notable findings from the dismissal of Hunt's lawsuit -
1 – “alleged sexual misconduct involving clergy members and how such matters are handled” are “matters of public concern”. Including the letter sent from the Credentials Committee to a church platforming Hunt.
Another precious survivor I've had the privilege of communicating with, who was crushed by MacArthur and Grace Community Church. She won full custody of her children with her abusive ex limited to supervised visitation only. If you know anything about this process, you know...
How rare this is, and how bad it has to be, to get this verdict.
Men of God, does it not concern you at all, that you missed this? That you counseled so dangerously? Do you not want to understand how and why, you could not or would not see?
Do you feel grief at how you trod on this vulnerable woman and her children? Do you feel fear that you might make this mistake again? Have you wondered if she might not be the only one?
It has been almost six years and counting since several of us who work in this field repeatedly raised concerns to leaders that the lack of clear processes, measurable benchmarks and standards, and appropriate communication strategy, within the Credentials Committee...
Would create serious harm.
The errors noted in the ruling from a few days ago were entirely preventable. They were warned of directly. Sound alternatives were recommended repeatedly.
Model systems used in other entities were recommended.
No less than four attorneys, all of whom have levels of expertise in this field and one of who specializes in the constitutionality of offender registries, repeatedly warned of these risks and urged adoption of clear, measurable policies. All went unheeded.