Thread by @JuliusGoat

Bullshit.

I have family members all the way up the Fox News Facebook misinformation hole, and they didn’t get vaccinated because they felt respected; they got vaccinated because their children told them they wouldn’t get to see their grandchildren until they got vaccinated.

https://twitter.com/nro/status/1416100329649807367

3 observations:

People don't tend to change their worldviews from a place of comfort.

When selfish assholes decide to behave like selfish assholes, the problem isn't that others aren't coddling their feelings enough.

Selfish assholes aren't everyone else's job to fix.

Selfish assholes would love for you to *think* they are everybody else's job to fix.

It puts them at the center and in control.

That means when they act like a selfish asshole, it's *your* fault. You should have been more persuasive. Daddy hits you because you made him angry.

Truth is, vaccine resistors are behaving this way because their feelings ARE being respected.

Malicious media entities created self-feeding networks that reassure selfish assholes they can be selfish assholes and still be respected.

Antvax, racist, sexist, all are welcome.

The way you make a selfish asshole stop being a selfish asshole is well known.

You draw a clear boundary and then you enforce that boundary. You tell them that their bullshit won't be tolerated, and then you don't tolerate their bullshit.

I think we all know that, actually.

Selfish assholes say they don't care what other people think. This is a lie.

They don't care about other people's LIVES. They are *obsessed* with what other people think about *them.*

Which is why they always talk about being disrespected.

As we see.

Selfish assholes equate 'respect' with 'not paying social consequence for behaving like a selfish asshole.'

When they think their behavior will carry social consequence, they threaten worse behavior.

This is to frame the worse behavior as someone else's fault.

As we see.

A selfish asshole isn't your project, and he isn't your fault. His beliefs don't need to change; just his actions.

Selfish assholes are making life difficult for all of the rest of us.

Let's make a society where being a selfish asshole is difficult.

We have a society that’s optimized to the whims and desires of selfish assholes over the lives of those they harm.

We can change that by making and enforcing clear boundaries and consequences.

Selfish assholes will frame this as violent oppression against themselves. Example:

We’ll see real change affected when we stop being so concerned about whether we’ve changed the minds of selfish assholes.

We shouldn’t care about changing their minds. They are responsible for their minds. We should want it to not be easy for them to act like selfish assholes.

Adding a coda to address 2 points being made in the replies:

1) not all vax-hesitant are selfish assholes; some are just confused/frightened—and might be reasoned with;

2) some can't get vaccinated; existing health complications make them vulnerable—and they must be protected.

Both of these points are very true.

I chose to focus exclusively on “selfish assholes” because they represent the foundational problem here.

Selfish assholes are why confused people are confused.

Selfish assholes are why vulnerable people are made even more vulnerable.

Specifically, the problem is that we are a society *optimized* to seek the emotional, psychological, and physical comfort of selfish assholes over the lives of those they harm.

This is the fundamental problem to change—accomplished by establishing and enforcing boundaries.

I propose thinking of our current configuration as an *environmental* problem. If we’re optimized for selfish assholes, we get things selfish assholes want.

So: we have an environment of fear and confusion.

So: we have an environment that harms the vulnerable.

Fixing this fundamental problem will create an *environmental* shift. It's a structural and scalable solution to a vast problem.

It will give confused frightened people an environment of clarity.

It will create an environment of protection for already vulnerable people.

So: it’s true that some may be reached by reasoning. Try! But that will be an *individual* success if you succeed.

But *centering* the fix on ‘convincing’ maintains an environment where selfish assholes get to do as they please, unless you can convince them—which you can’t.

What’s toxic about the NR article is that it submerges the foundational problem.

It divides the matter into those who are “conspiratorial” (a small subset, the author claims) and those who are hesitant in good faith.

It ignores the reality of selfish assholes.

The reality is: while there are conspiracies, and those confused in good faith, both come from an environment driven by shocking impenetrable selfishness, propagated by vaccinated assholes who are deliberately lying, and unvaccinated assholes deliberately believing lies.

Selfish assholes *love* when the answer is “convince them,” for many reasons, but mostly because they know it's ineffective.

Selfish assholes *hate* clear boundaries and enforced consequences, because they are effective.

And that’s why I advocate boundaries and consequences.

So (and yikes is this a long "coda") I don't argue convincing people is bad, but rather consider your orientation.

To orient around convincing participates in the underlying environment causing the problem.

Change orientation. Boundaries & consequence. Convince strategically.

And, scene.

https://twitter.com/phil_lewis_/status/1418210466656972808