Hot take: giving flowers or other gifts to someone when they’re upset with you is shitty.
After you’ve processed shit with them/made amends/done meaningful repair? Sure, a sweet gift can be a nice way to reconnect. But when someone is still actively mad/upset with you? That shit is just manipulative.
Once I was angry at a friend—whom I had been in a rocky place with for a while—for harm they had done to me and members of my community and the day before we were supposed to talk about it they sent me flowers and it was one of the final nails in the coffin of our friendship.
I do not take well to people who use things that should be special, thoughtful, and kind—like gifts— as a means to undermine someone else’s negative feelings and manipulate their way out of accountability.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Your Friendly Butch Anarchist

Your Friendly Butch Anarchist Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @butchanarchy

20 Jul
When you say something like: “calling out antisemitism is divisive.”

We hear: “I’d rather antisemites be a part of our movements instead of Jewish people.”
When you say something like “calling out racism is divisive.”

We hear: “I’d rather racists be part of our movements instead of people of color.”
When you say something like “calling out misogyny is divisive.”

We hear: “I’d rather misogynists be part of our movements instead of women.”
Read 10 tweets
19 Jul
David Rovics is antisemitic, platforms fascists, and—when challenged—doubles down on doing so.

It is not purity culture or infighting to not allow for people like him to have space or power, it’s what we do to protect our comrades and build safe and sustainable movements.
👀 Tweet response from David Rovics that reads: “yes, I talk
Read 5 tweets
16 Jul
The “if you can’t explain to me how the tiniest minutia of society will function then your whole political framework is unviable” argument you get from statists of all sorts is actually pretty reflective of statist logic in general, not of a secret flaw in anarchism.
Statists believe one/a few people CAN know—& orchestrate!— every aspect of how life should function, and that’s why they get to impose it forcibly on everyone else.
Anarchists know that that’s not possible, that knowledge is localized and specific, so we’re (in general) pretty content to speak on what we *do* know about, and say “you’ll have to talk to another person about that” on things we don’t.
Read 5 tweets
16 Jul
It never ceases to amaze me how many self-identified communists on this site will proudly proclaim that they don’t believe that communism is possible and think that constitutes a dunk on anarchism.
Also mass scale production and international trade will very soon cease to be an option no matter what political tendency you hold because we’re literally entering into a full climate apocalypse (driven by those two things btw) that will make them impossible.
That fact doesn’t make anarchism impossible—it will actually make it one of the few viable options for survival—but it does certainly deliver a death sentence to any forms of state-craft that depend on mass production and large-scale trade to exist (i.e. all forms of state craft)
Read 4 tweets
16 Jul
Rejection hurts, but we can learn to accept that it is not inherently an indictment on our character or desirability, but an indication of someone’s personal boundaries. Which we should always want to hear. 🧵
When someone communicates their boundaries with us, they are saying something about *themselves*: they’re telling us something about what they want or what they need to feel safe.
While it can feel *really* personal when that boundary limits the amount of closeness or intimacy someone wants with us, we can still be grateful when they communicate that boundary, when they’re vulnerable enough to share what they need from us.
Read 6 tweets
15 Jul
Grief without community support becomes trauma.
Grief has such an incredible transformative potential, but very few of us ever see that because we are denied our grief. We are told to shove it down, to silence it, to deny it its rightful sacred place in our lives. So much so that we see it as inseparable from trauma.
But trauma is not the inherent result of certain events, it isn’t (bad thing) happens and then you just get trauma. Trauma is the result of a breakdown in—or total lack of—social support systems that are supposed to be in place when loss or harm happens.
Read 6 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!