JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh hey
Poe: oh hey look who it is
Poe: guess we’re doing this again
Poe: this old song and dance
Rowling: I've been ssssilenced
Poe: yeah here we go
King: Silenced? but by who?
Poe: why are you engaging steve
JK Rowling: perhapsss you didn’t hear
Rowling: that I am currently in fear for my very life
Barker: from what, a mongoose
Poe: clive don’t start trouble
King: but wait is he right
King: is there a mongoose
Rowling: in fact, I have received death threatsss for my brave ssstand against transss rightss
Rowling: I am in mortal danger
Rowling: sssimply for tweeting my opinion
Barker: golly, you’d better stop tweeting
Rowling: I
Rowling: what
Barker: I mean, if you’re in danger
Barker: wouldn’t want you to get hurt now would we
Barker: I mean IF you’re really in fear for your life
Barker: seems like an obvious choice
Barker: I mean there WERE death threats right
Barker: not like this is something you made up right
Rowling: uhhhhh
Barker: i mean you can show us these death threats right
Rowling: hold on
Rowling: i'll be right back
Rowling: hello children
Rowling: thisss time I have brought an actual death threat
Rowling: I have it right here
Rowling: so you can sssee I’m not just making thingsss up
Barker: hey can I see that
Rowling: um I’ll jussst read it to you guys
Barker: no no I wanna see it
Rowling: I’ll read it
Rowling: “Dear Ms Rowling CH, OBE, HonFRSE, FRCPE, FRSL
Rowling: “I, a villainous transsss identified male-"
Barker: this is highly suspect
Rowling: what? that'sss how they talk
Barker: no it isn't
Poe: it really isn't
Rowling: "I am writing to tell you that I am a crazy person who loves silencing women & invading woman spaces. I will kill you and also harry potter is bad. All rational and normal people should hold the opposite opinions of me!! Sincerely, Ima Man. PS I AM NOT A TERF PSYOP”
Rowling: you sssee?
Rowling: ssseee?
Rowling: steve
Rowling: steve steve
Rowling: you agree death threats are bad right steve
King: yeah i'd agree to that
Rowling: you heard it, steve 100% agrees with everything that I say and think
Rowling: I will never back down from transssphobia
Rowling: I don’t care how many 4 foot tall fencess I have to erect around my Ssscottish manor!
Rowling: i'll build a million 4 foot fencesss before I back down!

• • •

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More from @midnight_pals

14 Jul
Philip José Farmer: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the River Planet
Barker: this isn’t even vaguely horror
Barker: shouldn’t you be over at the sci fi campfire
Barker: i dunno space coven or whatever you call it
Farmer: so every human in history is suddenly resurrected on the river planet
Farmer: setting the stage for an epic adventure that really delves into the nature of humanity
Farmer: but first some granular descriptions of troop movements in an extremely interminable battle scene
Farmer: so every human is resurrected in a perfect new 25 year old body
Farmer: men, of course, without foreskins
Barker: oh FINE
Barker: I’ll bite
Read 9 tweets
13 Jul
Stephen Jones: so what is it you lot do here
King: oh see we take turns telling scary stories
Jones: ah. around this campfire?
King: yeah see and
Jones: it’s all a bit rubbish innit?
Jones: listen i think i know a little bit about horror
Jones: after all i did edit The Big Book of Spoop, The Monster Fun Omnibus, and 1001 Creeptastic Chillers for Kids
Stephen Jones: so i guess it’s up to me to organize this session
Jones: not that I’m getting paid for it
Jones: or lord knows that i’ll even see any gratitude for it
Read 13 tweets
12 Jul
Lisa Quigley: hey guys
Quigley: who wants to try
Quigley: ouija board?
Anne Rice: oh you shouldn’t mess around with those, i heard they’re demonic
Rice: I’ve decided i’m religious again now
Quigley: jeez anne don’t be such a narc
Quigley: they’re totally safe
Rice: I heard they’re ungodly
Quigley: oh yeah why don’t you go tattle to you boyfriend Jesus?
Mary Shelley: haha hell yeah
Shelley: eat it, rice! eat it raw!
Quigley: oh great spirit of the ouija board!
Tabitha King: pfft
Quigley: what
Tabitha King: nothing, go on
Quigley: you have to address it like that or the spirit gets mad
Read 14 tweets
10 Jul
Emily Carroll: [holding a whale oil lantern] Hark! These woods are full of dangers, dangers untamed!
Angela Carter: oh yeah def
Carroll: but the biggest danger of all
Carroll: is men
Carter: see? now this girl gets it
Carroll: when i was a girl
Carroll: my mother warned me of men
Carroll: men with their smiles all made of teeth and their hands all made of fingers
Carroll: when you are grown, they’ll come calling, she said
Carroll: knocking on your cottage door
with their knuckles made of hand
Carroll: eventually i grew up and oh! what a fine young lady was I!
Carroll: with my locks a-curled and my neck a-slender!
Read 15 tweets
7 Jul
Mirka Andolfo: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Eldritch Gold Rush Madam
Frank Belknap Long: oh
Andolfo: oh?
Long: i mean that’s fine
Long: i was just hoping
Long: you were gonna tell that other story
Andolfo: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the sexy pig girl
Long: aw does she have to be a pig girl
Long: i mean, take away that snub nose & she’s basically human
Long: this pig girl is basically human and
Long: OH
Long: oh i get it
Long: don’t wanna alienate the hyooman audience, eh? Barker: what the hell are you talking about frank
Long: [tapping nose conspiratorially] i get it
Read 8 tweets
6 Jul
Bradbury: so there are about 8 first expeditions to Mars
Bradbury: and then Mars is settled
Bradbury: and it’s basically just a giant midwestern town
Barker: wow i really love when sci fi explores the bounds of imagination
Bradbury: but then there’s a nuclear war on earth so everyone just goes home
King: wait, why are they going home?
Bradbury: you know, because of the nuclear war
Bradbury: they didn’t want to miss it
Barker: maybe you could try telling something a little scarier, ray
Bradbury: perhaps a story of a killer baby?
Barker: yeah i suppose
Barker: but i was thinking more like
Barker: something about mummies?
Bradbury: don’t you joke about that
Barker: haha
Read 7 tweets

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