begging y'all to learn the difference between an apology based in genuine self reflection and mutual respect and a PR-esque "apology" once someone's poor behavior starts to cost them social capital
are they apologizing because they genuinely recognize the impact of their behavior and are committed to changing or are they apologizing so they can keep bulldozing forward and maintain their access to social networks? because there is a massive difference
accountability requires an ongoing acknowledgement of harm done, if your "apology" is issued to nobody in particular and is being used to tell people who bring it up to shut the fuck up then it might as well be worthless 🤷🏽‍♀️
tangentially, if your interest in an "accountability process" is only piqued once you start getting kicked out of orgs and facing financial reprocussions then there are plenty of reasons to question your commitment to the process in the first place

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More from @feralcritters

22 Jul
the fact that talia j has apparently self appointed themselves as a restorative justice person is mortifying to me lol
also fits some weird bingo card of the worst, most out of touch people you know rebranding as experts on what accountability should like (to them and them only)
holding myself accountable 🥰🥰 by learning all of the right buzzwords 🥰 watch me continue to endanger survivors, cape for abusers, and center MY feelings in every conflict i needlessly insert myself into 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Read 7 tweets
20 Jul
perhaps a hot take but the "sapphics are valid even when they're exclusively dating men uwu" rhetoric that has proliferated on tumblr/twitter for the past decade really did a number on me as a young queer person who was struggling with coming to terms with my attraction to women.
disclaimer: this is purely talking about MY OWN experiences with comphet and internalized homophobia, if this doesn't apply to you then cool! isn't it so cool that queer people can have so many different experiences? keep it pushing babe! 😎
i identified as bisexual for the greater part of a decade and was in a string of intense but fleeting relationships with women and unfulfilling relationships with men. i always knew i preferred women, but i didn't want to ~restrict myself~.
Read 11 tweets
13 Jul
i used to buzz positively about "we protect us", because the idea of a community that actually empowered us to do so was so refreshing. now that phrase just fills me with bitterness.
it just makes me think of all of the ways we've utterly failed so many people.
makes me think of the people who defended teenagers being hit on by adults, until i just didn't see those kids around anymore. makes me think of those who defended a litany of abusive men or their cronies who helped cover it up.
makes me think of the "RJ practicioner" who showed up to my house in the middle of the night unannounced for talking about my own experiences. about the other RJ person who passive aggressively gave black women books on cancel culture because we were being hostile to a groomer.
Read 8 tweets
10 Jul
ngl it is very wild learning with time that like, over half of the white leftists in this city come from unfathomable levels of generational wealth lmao
like it's truly been 50/50 that someone is either in the same position as me (paycheck to paycheck, like $500 away from financial ruin and homelessness at all times) or they learn the leftist jargon decently until you learn that their families have millions of dollars in assets
it's always a shock when i'm hanging out with people who have adopted prole aesthetics/jargon and i'm like, "wait, you have a trust fund? your parents do WHAT now? your parents own multiple properties? they own WHAT NOW? they paid for your tuition WHERE??"
Read 5 tweets
28 May
black anarchists are allowed to be vocally critical of a failed anarchist project in a majority white city that resulted in the death of black kids
chaz was a failure for a myriad of reasons, including the violently misogynistic black men who were working with the city to prevent most tangible actions. but the nonblack "activists" who turned spaces into fuckpiles absolutely did not help!
like the fact of the matter is that the environment was festering with self aggrandizing vulturing assholes, police collaborators, wannabe cops labeled as security, and allowed a playground for predators and abusers to fuck with vulnerable people.
Read 4 tweets

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