Akiva Cohen Profile picture
Jul 23, 2021 26 tweets 8 min read Read on X
We begin with the table of contents. It suggests Wood is arguing two issues: 1) I never authorized Sidney Powell to put my name on this complaint; 2) I didn't violate a court order by sending out a clip of the hearing on Telegram. That second one is, of course, new.
Wait - no. This isn't Wood's supplemental brief on the sanctions motion. The court actually ordered him to show cause why he shouldn't be sanctioned for the video thing, entirely separately. I missed that.
Looks like Wood is using the motion as an opportunity for extra briefing on his "I never participated in this case at all, your Honor" defense on the main sanctions motion, which is a very smart strategic move.
Let's take a look at the relevant local rule:
Oh ... this is a problem.

Look, Wood is basing his first argument on the "I wasn't practicing here". But the text of the rule doesn't limit subsection (d) discipline to attorneys who are admitted or practicing in EDMI. It just says "attorneys" - which Wood definitely is.
Now contrast that with subsection (c), for example, which is expressly limited to attorneys who are admitted or practicing in EDMI
I suppose there's an argument (and we'll see if Wood's counsel makes it) that because Sub (d) is "in addition to" the discipline imposed under Sub (c), then Sub (d) only applies to attorneys in the same category as Sub (c) (i.e. folks admitted or practicing before the court)
But it's also plausible to read that differently: Sub (c) applies to attorneys admitted and practicing (they are the only ones who can be referred for discipline) while Sub (d) applies to all attorneys, even those who appear as parties or witnesses.
Frankly, I think the latter is the better reading from a policy perspective - being an attorney brings with it responsibilities to the court even when we're not there in our capacity as attorneys - but the former has some textual basis. So ... let's see.
And here's the summary of Wood's argument from his intro.
FYI, I have a 10am client call, so this will be interrupted
And on substance ... frankly, this is a damn good argument. Forget, for a second, the thing about the meaning of "broadcast". If the recording is available to the world on YouTube, why in the world should anyone care that Lin Wood circulated a clip?
It's not necessarily a meaningful legal argument - a court order is a court order - which is why he's not making it expressly. But as a practical matter, it may impact the sanction if and when it's awarded.

Meeting starting now.
On to the statement of facts. I'll be honest, I hate this. Don't put argument in your statement of facts. Yes, you want to draft it persuasively. But you need to limit yourself to setting out the facts you are going to later use to argue your points. This is not helpful
No, seriously, what even is happening here? This is a statement of facts. "The facts cited above bear repeating here"? No. No they do not. Also, where are your citations? Why isn't there a declaration from Wood supporting "I didn't post a video, here's what I did"?
See all those highlighted period? That's where some form of citation should be to say "court, look at this piece of evidence to verify these factual claims"

Also, can you not play a video in a Telegram "retweet"? This is disingenuous as hell unless Telegram is dumb
OK, on to the argument. Yep, they're arguing that 83.22(c) defines the universe of attorneys who can be subject to discipline. But for some reason, they don't make the textual argument, they just take it as a given that 83.22(d) only applies to the same universe. That's a mistake
The rest of this is just a rehash of the "I wasn't supposed to be on the complaint, didn't authorize it" argument, so we'll skip that and move on to broadcasting. What is "broadcasting"? The rule doesn't say
Since there's no special definition, we're in the land of ordinary meaning, so we look at dictionaries. Here's their pitch.
Here's a "different" definition, from the American Heritage Dictionary, which I'd argue isn't really different so much as "unpacked"
This, however, is a MUCH better argument. The rule is about use of electronic devices in the court, NOT a bar on parties linking to or tweeting out video from other sources outside of court.

Frankly, I think that's right
And then he goes and torches it with this disingenuous nonsense. Wood didn't *link* the video. Unless I'm misremembering the deleted post, it was watchable within his Telegram post. Why are you going down this road?
Anyway, that's all of it. /end
If this is the case, then he's definitely not broadcasting, IMO
And it was a video, and I'm back to wondering why the lawyer is going this stupidly unnecessary disingenuous road

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More from @AkivaMCohen

Jun 30, 2023
OK, time to get myself ratioed.

The SCOTUS affirmative action decision was legally wrong - poorly reasoned and legally silly. But in the long run, and if it spurs schools to use socioeconomic status and opportunity as the finger on the scales, it will be a net positive
Race is a blunt instrument, and I think we *all* agree that, for example, Willow Smith doesn't need or warrant any sort of bump on her college application. But Willow Smith is a WILD outlier and "but what about [insert rare exception]" isn't a useful policy framework
So yeah, it was perfectly reasonable for universities to use that blunt instrument.

As many of these university reaction statements are making clear, the burden will now be to find finer instruments that allow for the same intended benefit of taking into account the very real
Read 7 tweets
Jun 9, 2023
This thread from Yesh is a good example of a philosophical mistake I like to call "solutionism" - the belief that if a problem is bad enough then there must be a solution out there to resolve it, because "yeah, it sucks, it can't be solved for" is too unthinkable to bear
You see it a lot in the context of Israel/Palestine, with people convinced that the right mixture of fairy dust & button pushing can lead to a peaceful resolution that addresses all of the important and competing imperatives, it's just that nobody has found the right mixture yet
And we're seeing it with "a large portion of the population is willing to believe any prosecution of crimes by Trump is political"

Yes, that sucks. Yes, that's a potentially society-destroying problem.

No, there isn't a solution
Read 8 tweets
Jun 9, 2023
@yesh222 You don't worry about that, because it's not a solveable problem. You keep doing the right thing and hope that convictions and mounting evidence prevents more people from joining the conspiracy theorists, but that's all you can do
@yesh222 I said this 4 years ago, and it's proven true in every particular.

Read 4 tweets
May 19, 2023
That she was the one stealing the bike.

Literally nothing she did on the video is consistent with her new story. When her colleague came over and the kids said "that's his bike, he already paid for it" she didn't deny it, or look surprised by the claim.
Like ... how do you determine truth in a they-said-she-said situation? Watch human behavior. Throughout the video, the kids' tone is exactly what you'd expect for someone who believes their own story. Hers very much is not
And when her colleague comes and suggests that the kids get another bike, and they say "no, he paid for that bike, he unlocked it, it's his" there's exactly no reaction of "no, *I* paid for it" or "what the hell", which is what you'd expect if they were lying
Read 4 tweets
May 9, 2023
Hey, Twitter, and especially my #LitigationDisasterTourists, gather round. B/cwhile DM is focusing in on the court finding that selling videogame cheats is criminal copyright infringement and RICO, I'd like to tell you about something different. The CFAA, and @KathrynTewson
And don't get me wrong - that RICO stuff is big news that should be sending shockwaves through the cheat software industry. Cheatmakers often use resellers. Being found liable on a RICO violation means that every reseller could potentially be liable for 100% of the damage caused
by the cheat software.

And by 100%, of course, I mean 300%, since RICO comes with treble damages. Plus attorneys' fees. So that's a big deal.

As is the finding that it's criminal copyright infringement. Those are both new precedents in the area, and that's huge.
Read 21 tweets
Mar 8, 2023
I'm not inclined to forgive antisemitism, but this is more a learning opportunity than a defenestration opportunity. There are people who still legitimately don't understand that "Jew down" or "gyp" are slurs; it's just a phrase they've grown up around and use w/o thought
And yes, he doubled down when called out on it. That's almost always going to happen when someone who sincerely doesn't believe they're doing anything bigoted is called out for it in a public setting.

The real test will be whether he can learn (& apologize) as he gets more info
Also, HOLY FUCKING SHIT @pnj, you couldn't find an *actual* Jew to get a quote from, so you decided to go to a Christian LARPing as a Jew for missionizing purposes? What the absolute fuck? pnj.com/story/news/loc…
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