Thread by @chimmylibras

#namkook au where jk has an edible and experiences a shocking revelation

introductions

hehe saving namjoon's account for later :-) hobi has all these followers bc he's got a p big youtube page for dance. shoutout to cameron philip for the where's yoongi sope joke it is now fundamentally a part of me

1 - making captions is so hard now i truly see the smau writer struggle

2 - i started writing this so long ago so please excuse my extremely non-topical pop culture references

3 - took a lunch break and now i'm back and fuller than ever

4 - tl check

5 - welcome to jk's inner sanctum

6 - gonna try to upload reaction pics as i go in case anyone wants them bc i know the struggle

7 - jk has so many hyungs idk i would do if i were him

8 - jk goes to daddy hyung for help

9 - i /really/ need to go get some oat milk today so i might be gone for a bit soon

10 - focus on his beans!!!

11 - sorry i'm back i got distracted watching tiktoks and eating an espresso chocolate bar i forgot i had

12 - a hyung collective

13 - meanwhile over on Jungkook Priv Dot Com

14 - me and jk should form an "incapable of being perceived when high" support group

15 - i wonder what namjoon is up to

16 - jimin is a brat to his very core and he uses the word hyung when it suits him <3

17 - anyway i have popcorn now and i'm fucking energized as shit i feel like i could move a car, let's watch these boys badly navigate a complex social situation

18 - the beans might just be the only thing holding this au together

19 - i have had the same friend group for like going on 10 years now and i think it's given me groupchat dynamic writing powers

20 - jungkook is way too high to keep up with this micro drama and honestly? good for him. good for him.

21 - i think naming namjoon "june virgo" in his contacts could have been a warning sign that he had a wee crush but who am i to judge

22 - gasp!

23 - if you've been following the mini drama unfolding here in caption land, i'll have u know i did not get any oat milk because they were out. so it's clearly been a rough day for me so far

24 - he handled that. not well but he did handle it

25 - dayum.

26 - truly this sounds like my nightmare i'm so sorry for doing this to u jungkook

27 - tryna knock these last ones out quick i'm huffing and puffing

28 - u ever just cuddle in bed with ur bro

29 - the sun is up and the birds are chirping folks bc it's The Next Morning

30 - oof

31 - we are back in business people!!! i have bbq ruffle chips and some ice water so i'm ready to go

32 - i just got some very terrible news but i'm plowing through continuing this update because it's probably the only thing keeping my brain from leaking out my ears ! at least me and jk are suffering together

33 - oh guys on the bright side i got oat milk today! a win for me

34 - this is such a tightrope jin is walking and i'm very impressed with him

35 - obviously it's a flex. as a libra sun scorpio rising i do relate

36 - don't ask me what jin does for a living i just know it's in an office and he feels professionally fulfilled by it. and naturally he sends this snapchat to both parties separately

37 - jungkook ? taking advice??? it's less likely than you'd think

38 - hobi doing a great job setting boundaries everyone take note! i sure can't relate to him but i can take note!!

39 - posting this one as i scramble an egg for my yakisoba i am fucking unstoppable

40 - u gotta respect the shared coping and ignoring of an awkward topic through gossiping about a mutual friend

41 - finally i can announce my "shameless flirt namjoon" vs "panic gay jk" dynamic choice because i think it's soooo underrated

42 - no cute caption just tears

43 - first update had beans and now we have juice, i wonder what fun little disconcerting food analogy will come next

44 - try saying "the splitting of the brawn" in an english accent as if ur the announcer at a strong man competition at a fair in a small english village circa 1832. trust me it's fun!

45 - yoongi would definitely care if his friend actually had a broken dick in the sense that he'd find it immensely hilarious and i for one am with him

46 - namjoon just REALLY cares about his hyung's wellbeing okay??? he takes it very seriously

47 - so many flipping hyungs !

that's all for today! don't bookmark this as it'll be deleted :) also that Bad News i mentioned up top was financial in nature so if u have a few old dimes rattling around in ur pockets feel free to throw them at me! no pressure tho i also love attention ko-fi.com/chimmylibras