CW: abuse, domestic violence, trauma, transphobia

I have some announcements to make tomorrow about me, my business, my VTubing, etc

Today has been life altering and the abusive situation at home with my father and I has taken a turn for the worse

Today I was assaulted 🧵
This is what my mental health day was in need of today and I feel ashamed that I needed to take a break and not help people I have business with.

I feel ashamed of my body, my confidence for once in a decade has tanked, and I suffer from psychosis and other issues bc of abuse
A lot of issues that I have because of this abuse affects everything. It makes me work too much, it makes me have self defense mechanisms in inappropriate moments with people I love, and just so much more that ruins relationships.

I have been abused all of my life
I won't go too far into details. Trauma dumping is not what I want to discuss and it isn't necessary right now for y'all.

What I want to discuss is my situation and what is going to be happening now. Another thread will be made with mentioned announcements
In the event that Im doxxed or some monumental online event happens that affects my friendships and acquaintanceships, I want to preface right now saying that if you "grieve" for my past self being "dead" now, I forgive you.

It's transphobic, but I understand.
I came out to my parents about me being trans some time ago and they actively CHOSE to ignore my heartfelt plea to accept me and try to FORGET that I am trans. As much of a sweetheart and victim that my mother is, even she cannot accept who I am still, but can't ignore it anymore
Now that I am a full year into HRT and that everything about me physically has changed, everyone has to come to terms with what I am: a woman. That's all there is to it and yet, this grief of a dead son has isolated me from my family and now, with my father, resulted in violence
The language used around is distant, cold, yet reinforcing of this dead identity that not even I am familiar of anymore. They among other friends (even those that mean well) are speaking to a shadow--a facade rather than to me.

To those who speak to ME, thank you.
Despite deadnaming me, misgendering me, and purposefully digging into me, my father drilled into me that if I am to remain here at home, I am to pay rent, other bills and home renovation costs, and that I must adhere to a dress code. Yes, at 26, I am treated like this.
So much emphasis that I must "be a man" and "man up" while at the same time having a dress code even if feminine. This is a minor example of such contradictions that I live with and why I walk on eggshells with everything and everyone. I never know when I will be harmed
Quick tangent: don't ever belittle issues of gender. Gender norms are violent things and I am literally feeling the brunt of it right now. I am bruised and exhausted. This is a reality folks can deal with. Don't ever let anybody tell you that cishetnorms arent held up by violence
Despite all of this, I have contingencies. I have strategies, back up plans, and more that I've thought out all year preparing for things to get worse here at home for me. So please don't worry about me needing a place to go. I have places to go and I have plans.

I need help
A lot of plans that I had up until today were under the assumption that violence would not happen and that a complete and total impasse would occur. Today is such a day where I must begin to shift gears and accelerate plans.
I ask for patience while I adjust my priorities and schedule. My highest priority is, once again, moving out ASAP.

I will be asking a number of you for help in the coming weeks. I want to aim to have enough to move out and be comfortable somewhere else by the end of October
Thank y'all for sticking around with me and for being so patient with me. I know I can be ditzy, forgetful, that I can lose motivation and procrastinate, that I can melt into a puddle and need time.

I'm not the easiest to work with or be around. So thank you.

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More from @CriticalReikan

21 Sep
I wasn’t ready to do anything like this so soon, but I have a bit of a crisis here at home with me being abused and assaulted.

So, I’ll be scheduling and resuming consultations for everyone. If you need me to be your manager, DM me and we can work out something reasonable 💜🖤 Back to school sale. Vtuber branding and marketing. 50% off
If this is your first consultation with me, I combine Branding and Marketing to establish foundations and help us both be on the same page better after I look over your data. If there is no data, then we will make some. It’s 2-for-1 right now at $75. ko-fi.com/criticalreikan…
If you are not a VTuber and you still want to support, you can either donate or become a member. I just set this up, so have at it~

ko-fi.com/criticalreikan…
Read 11 tweets
19 Sep
Is it truly #VtubersAreOverParty ??

We see so many drop out of the scene and now give a retrospective on their individual disillusionment. I took time to research this and contemplate on predictions that I had been making for the past year as to why this would happen 🧵
What I found while compiling testimonials both in private and searching here on Twitter is not shocking.

What we are seeing is a spike in realization of what it takes to be a VTuber alongside things like burn-out, dissolution of cliques, and more I'll dive into
1) Rise n Grind is toxic and accelerates burn-out

What you will see if you ask VTubers not just now, but before and likely in the near future is that it takes a lot of work to be successful in this new field.

The way in which you work matters a lot.
Read 30 tweets
15 Sep
If you spend your whole life reacting to things outside of your control and reach, then what time is left for directly impacting people's lives? What time is left to inspire, to persuade, to uplift one another, to love one another unconditionally without prejudice?
A reason why I refuse to allow mainstream politics inside of Rei Casa (my discord server) and refuse to engage in mainstays politics myself in any capacity, is purely because of the realization that my time can be better spent helping those close to me than reacting to spectacle
I think discussions rn about AOC bring such things to mind.

I realize that people can't understand the differences in class structure and "eat the rich" means anything above $100k/mo in income regardless of location or occupation
Read 13 tweets
10 Sep
Y’all probably either are confused of drama of the day in #ENVtuber land. So here’s a summary (not including the dozens of lukewarm takes that form a consensus of enjoying the outreach that clips from various fan channels give to any #Vtuber).

I’ve got unique thoughts on this🧵
From a professional standpoint as someone who manages, consults and cares deeply for VTubers, Cimrai just about covered a lot of what I could’ve and probably would’ve said myself

This professional perspective is missing with a lot of indie talent
I come from a similar background as a content creator doing this for 7 years, but also had my start in a similar aspect as clippers like @UsVtuber. My best friend @RinaHoshinari did too with his FB page geoing hella viral for posting a McD’s anime ad and getting it shared by McDs
Read 23 tweets
1 Sep
#ADayOffTwitch is about Hate Raids. I want you to think about this before you stream. People are allowing exceptions for contract streamers who depend on streaming for income. That's fine.

What I care about with whoever hops on today and crosses the picket line are intentions
#twitchblackout is a protest and boycott about Twitch's incompetence and negligence to marginalized creators who wish to escape from the world just like everyone else. However, as we know by now, we don't get that kind of luxury. Fandom and hobbies are a battleground
Battleground?

Yes, a battleground.

The war? None other than the notorious "Culture War". Hate Raids are a continuation and an attempt to reignite this bullshit yet again.
Read 9 tweets
30 Aug
I ask that everyone take a breather and read what is being said. The main thing is an issue--an oversight I also apologize for.

BPD does not make someone a "bad person" or inherently abusive.

If you were involved or know of this case, please hear me out🧵
It was crucial to point out Seluna's SPECIFIC, UNTREATED SYMPTOMS that she KNEW about and CHOSE do to NOTHING about DESPITE having access and ample time and chances to work on it.

We are talking about a woman who WEAPONIZED her hospital stay. That's SPECIFIC to HER, not all BPD
The wording in the mental health section was advised and written by Bridgey. I oversaw it and edited it.

The current wording will not be changed to avoid suspicion of tampering the document.

This was an oversight. Both Bridgey and I take full responsibility for it and apologize
Read 5 tweets

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