i bloody love that the last chapter (or in the very least the last 3 pesukim) of the torah reveals that it's actually just a really long love letter to moshe.

bereishit is basically just a prequel -- 'look at the great people who got us to this point' (1/5)
and then bam, shemot hits and all of a sudden it's about this new dude moshe. he puts up with a lot. but God loves him and he loves God and despite their faults he leads bnei yisrael through thick and thin (2/5)
we watch him evolve as a leader and shape the nation. we watch him make mistakes and repent. we have a front row seat into the life of this man whose entire being was dedicated to God's nation and Godself. (3/5)
this whole time we think the torah is about the jewish people... and then you get to it's last lines:

"Never again did a navi like Moshe arise in Israel, who God singled out face to face."

'this book? the one you just read? it's a story about this wonderful man.' (4/5)
idk i just really like it. this man dedicated his whole life to us 3000 years ago. and in return we read a book about him year after year after year. (5/5)
this is my last parsha meme for this cycle. thinking about this pasuk makes me emo. Image

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More from @TheTonightSho

12 Sep
a thread:

i often debate whether or not to post more serious personal things, but decided to throw caution to the wind for this one.

i don't like going to selichot anymore. there was a while there i enjoyed it, but for the past few years i just cant bring myself to go (1/12)
it's not that i dont have things to repent for. i have a long bloody list of things i should be atoning for, of things i know i should speak to god about, but instead without fail i will stand in that room and the only thing i will think about is the fact i'm gay. (2/12)
look. i joke a lot about how i think having a bit of internalised homophobia is a good thing because it keeps us humble but this goes beyond that. let me state outright that i do not hate myself. no self-hatred here. (3/12)
Read 12 tweets
16 Aug
im sick of antisemitism in medical shows so here is how i think a medical show with frum jews should be handled:

[INT. HOSP - DAY.]
Doctor approaches the patient, who is clearly an Orthodox Jew. The Jew, surprisingly, is not praying. Instead, he flicks through the TV channels.
DR: Listen to me. You need this surgery otherwise you'll die.
JEW: okay, schedule it.
DR: what?
JEW: schedule it, what's the issue?
DR: i thought you'd fight me on this
JEW: the fighting comes when i get my bill in the mail.

[END SCENE]
if youre gonna make it antisemitic, at least get it right!
Read 4 tweets
21 Nov 19
phenomenal jewish pickup lines we should all be using: a thread
wanna get a drink sometime? i was thinking a glass of wine, i know this really great chuppah we can hang out under.
come over to my place on motzei shabbes, we can netflix and cholent
Read 17 tweets

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