my friend linked me a video on flatworms... that involves penis fencing and then went "this is ABO almost, i thought of u"

me laughing in my seat as i scramble to write some dumbass au

alpha!yjh defending his right and honour to breed omega!kdj by using his 1864in pp as a sword
in all alpha aspects, yjh is the cream of the crop. no one can contest him. kdj is even marked by him. in all rights, no one should even be allowed to look or touch kdj, but kdj is pretty af and so other alpha contenders still come to try and take his place
his 1864in pp is always raring to go to kill his opponents, he can penis-slap everyone and pierce their bodies like a sharp blade

kdj is so wowed and enamoured but also highly oblivious - kdj, why do u think yjh is fighting so hard to protect u smfh
the best thing yjh can do if he wants his sexy times is to build a group that can protect his waifu, and so kimcom has to deal with their noisy fucking every week

that's it, send tweet
the video in question
omg what if kdj and yjh had a pp battle to see who carries the kids - kdj obviously loses HAHA
ok back to work..

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More from @idlemurmurs

12 Oct
fantasy AU, human alpha!yjh x demon omega!kdj

some ABOverse in it but... Not as much as I thought when I typed it out 😂
-

KDJ comes from a family that protects a demon gate. KDJ fought tooth and nail to be the successor, thanks to his well-formed team that he built himself
However, the next problem he has is... birthing an heir. It's his biggest req, because not anyone can guard the demon gate

It can't be a pureblooded demon, bc then they'll fall into the temptations of opening the gate. They can't be fully human either, bc then they're too weak
KDJ himself is already too much demon lineage, so he has to settle for finding a human he can share his bond with

but he also doesn't want to implicate them, bc being the father of children that can rip apart homes, not to mention the intense struggle of guarding is traumatic
Read 17 tweets
5 Oct
lap dancer!yjh x salaryman!kdj bc i say so 😤

is it bad that i went to bed thinking about lap dances and thought about it while doing work? 😂 i have to get this out of my system so i can focus omggg

sexual tension and teasing tho 😳💦
Kim Dokja gulps harshly, his sweaty hands nervously gripping his poor pants that may no longer remain clean anymore. In an attempt to cover up his nervousness, he laughs, but that doesn't stop the other from coming forward.

He's going to murder Han Sooyoung, he thinks.
The dancer approaches Kim Dokja in a lithe way that he never knew well-toned, well-built, and outrageously hot man taller than him could ever do. His waist sways with the beat of the music, his eyes forever locked on Kim Dokja's visage as he finally comes to a stop before him.
Read 12 tweets
1 Oct
joongdok popsicle thread - part 2 🔞 1.2k words

- not beta'd
- heavy petting (kinda) \ blow job \ foot job (kinda)
- list member access only! (see following tweet on how to get added)
privatter.net/p/7991207
me: how tf do i write a foot job
friend: button mash it
me: HOW DO I BUTTON MASH IT
friend: TYPE IT WITH UR FEET U GOTTA IMMERSE URSELF
me: omg genius UR A VETERAN
Read 4 tweets
29 Sep
ORV SPOILERS - if you have no finished the novel, do not read!!!
-

Every morning, Yoo Joonghyuk wakes up to Kim Dokja in his arms. When Kim Dokja wakes up, he smiles and whispers a good morning, where Yoo Joonghyuk returns the sentiment with a hum and kiss to the forehead.
Yoo Joonghyuk continues his day as usual. He makes their breakfast, preps Kim Dokja's lunch before he sends him off, and he sets up his usual gaming equipment to practice. If there's a lack of necessities, Yoo Joonghyuk will go out of his way to shop.
The two bicker together as couples usually do, and the amount of affection causes all their friends to vacate the room immediately.

However, there is one thing that Yoo Joonghyuk cannot understand.

Kim Dokja refuses to kiss on the lips.
Read 21 tweets
28 Sep
Half ice dragon!kdj and pureblood fire dragon!yjh AU

KDJ's father is a rare dragon that was the last of his kind and so had to settle for a human woman to continue his lineage

Unfortunately he was a piece of shit and treated his family bad
In a mixture of desperation, fear, and by accident, LSK kills her husband and honestly? KDJ prefers that he's gone anyway with how awful of a parent he was

The only problem now is that bc of the neglect, KDJ doesn't know what type of dragon he is or how to care for himself
But it's fine, he's not presenting any signs and it hasn't impacted on his life (yet). Part of it can probably be explained by his malnutrition and lack of environment to awaken his dragon blood

And so KDJ grows up into a seemingly human adult
Read 56 tweets
20 Sep
not me getting ready for bed and then i see a goddamn spider THAT I MISSED HITTING

it's 12:30 and i'm wide awake now
i guess i'll just sleep in fear - it's ok, it's not my bedroom at least... (crying noises in background)
mr spider... pls go back to my ceiling so i can hit u 2.0... and actually kill u this time
Read 4 tweets

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