Above-and-beyond high-maintenance friendship things that make my silly autistic heart happy:

1) being reassured you still like me after every social interaction
2) being given permission to leave early with no hard feelings
3) showing up to meet or call me on the dot exactly when you said you would - preferably to the second
4) learning my ‘safe’ foods & not making me suffer through pretending to eat something fancy
5) oversharing with me to make it less conspicuous and awkward when I overshare at you
6) learning about a special interest of mine you can tolerate talking about at length & talking with me about it at length
7) learning the right language around autism and using it
8) not telling me how much you love (insert autism show made by neurotypicals) and getting offended when I don’t agree
9) standing up for me when other people put pressure on me to make myself uncomfortable / unwell for their benefit (eg challenging things like “stay a little longer... just try a bit... stop fidgeting... look me in the eye when I’m talking to you”)
10) travelling to me so I can actually enjoy our time together instead of having used all my energy getting to you in the first place
11) a dress code. My kingdom for a goddamn dress code. For every occasion. Otherwise I *will* turn up to brunch in a ballgown and tiara.

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More from @Sara_Rose_G

8 Oct
Just had the most horrifying experience of my life at the hospital to the point where I’m still crying & shaking & can barely type. After I had my bloods lost by the GP I had to go for another time-sensitive blood test to replace it. This time at the hospital 1/
I went in with my husband wearing my sunflower lanyard. He explained to the phlebotomist that I was a nervous patient - I was struggling to speak & stimming a lot. Before she started, I asked if I could have the numbing spray. In a pretty nasty voice she said 2/
“No, that’s just for children.” I explained that I’m autistic & it’s a massive sensory issue. She rolled her eyes, sank down to her knees so she was level with me, like I was a toddler & said, in an impatient mum voice “I’m going to need you to work with me” 3/
Read 14 tweets
7 Oct
I was about to post a bit of a downer thread about chronic illness & how isolating & rough it can be but I’m not sure what purpose it would serve other than catharsis - so instead I’d like to post something helpful - here’s how to be around & support someone chronically unwell 1/
First, & most importantly, BELIEVE US when we tell you we’re sick or in pain or both. It’s extremely unlikely that anyone would make it up. If it seems like something is always wrong, that’s because it is. If it seems like a different ailment every time, there’s a good reason 2/
Being chronically sick means taking medication to fix things. Medication has side effects which can cause all sorts of other problems. Also being sedentary or in darkness a lot or having no appetite can cause so many unrelated symptoms. So please don’t roll your eyes 3/
Read 15 tweets
29 Sep
When you’re openly autistic it can sometimes make people jumpy around you - like they’re scared you’re so sensitive they’ll say the wrong thing & ‘set you off’ or you’ll suddenly & without warning have a meltdown they won’t know how to deal with. Let’s unpack that! 1/
So meltdowns are totally involuntary responses to sensory &/or emotional overwhelm. They look like tantrums - can be anything from heavy crying to hitting our own heads, shouting awful things & so on. They’re mortifying for autistic people when they happen BUT 2/
It’s important to know that
a) they’re not tantrums or behavioural issues & punishing us or giving us what you think we want won’t change anything
b) they look a lot worse than they are &
c) (this is crucial) they’re not actually that likely to happen in front of you 3/
Read 14 tweets
27 Aug
To people outside of my autistic bubble - there is a research project that requires autistic DNA partly chaired by someone who has been associated with an organisation called Cure Autism Now. It’s being presented in the media as A Good Thing but there’s uproar among autistics 1/
I’ll keep this short & sweet. It’s bad journalism to completely ignore the outrage of the vast majority of people who are affected by it. If anyone would like to run a story on this I will personally link you up with reliable & credible sources & evidence. Please get in touch 2/
I don’t like to go begging for RTs but it’s particularly important that this request breaks out of autistic twitter so please, especially if you’re not autistic, retweet it & friends in media circles - autistic people are desperate for your help. Please show up for us 3/
Read 4 tweets
26 Aug
I know this all looks boring & complicated but *please* read it & try to understand it.

The headline is there’s a study that wants autistic genetic data & it’s co-chaired by someone who literally wants to cure autism.

We’re not cranks or conspiracy theorists.
Your autistic friends are scared. We’re seeing respectable-looking researchers with a glittering array of celebrities on morning TV shows claiming they want to help us & the world believes them. A cursory Google shows how sinister their motives could be.
We know that we’re losing the battle before we’ve started fighting. Most people think we’re diseased. They hear “cure” and they think “how nice!” Our neurology makes us who we are. If I was not autistic, I wouldn’t be Sara. I wouldn’t exist at all.
Read 5 tweets
26 Aug
So I have to say a thing & it’s not in response to any one person AT ALL. Almost all the positive comments were along these lines & I know how well-meaning they are BUT - when we talk about curing autism, the go-to response is often that we’ve contributed a lot to the world 1/
That’s so lovely but it worries me enormously that in our good intentions, we’re feeding into the narrative that the only autistic lives worth preserving are the ones that can contribute something spectacular to the world. 2/
Autistic people deserve the right to live, be supported & be treated with respect & dignity whether we invented Post-Its or whether we can’t work at all. We deserve a safety net & a robust care system. We deserved to not be valued by how much we do or don’t impact others 3/
Read 8 tweets

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