Last night the thoughtful & brilliant @KaitlynSchiess asked a series of questions that sparked some deep thoughts & interactions. For context, see screenshots of what I singled out to answer. My heart ached off & on all night thinking about some of the replies to her questions.->
I was too tenderhearted last night to bridge over to the good part. I’m trying to take the time to mourn a monumental loss in my life and not, in typical Beth Moore annoying optimistism, jump immediately to “let’s all get happy now!” This thread is to a very specific audience:
Those of you in Christ who feel displaced from your church or denomination but the communion of saints & the local church are essentials to your joys like they are to mine. I deeply understand why some are so wounded, they can’t darken the door of any church right now. I get
that. So this is not for you. If & when you’re ready to dip your toes in those waters, consider it then. Equally, this is not for those of you who have a church. I’m not proselytizing here. I believe God calls us to our churches and we stay & endure & serve & fellowship through
countless ups & downs. I’ve said over & over, I’m a stay-er. I’m not petty about a church. There’s no perfect church. And if I found one, I’d mess it up by walking into it. But this is for those who, for whatever very serious reason, could not stay. Have you considered trying a
Christ-focused, gospel teaching/preaching, Scripture-prioritizing church of a style different enough to not be such a reminder of the pain you’ve endured? The Lord led Keith and me to visit a liturgical church in early June. A small one. One that highly exalts Jesus & sees the
Scriptures as the Church’s final authority in all matters of faith & practice. I was so out of my normal world, I had no idea when to stand or sit or speak or shut up. I held my bulletin, shaking, & kept up best I could. I said that creed & those prayers & hung onto every word
of 3 solid chapters read from the Scriptures. All this time I’d believed that only my denomination really loved the Scriptures. Well, maybe also the Presbys. Tim Keller & all. When it came time for communion, Keith and I shot to that altar like starving people begging for bread.
I’ve never needed it so badly in my life. Keith cried like a baby through the whole service. My lip quivered and the tears pooled in my eyes but I did not break out into sobs until the very end when about six women gathered around me and said, “we don’t know why you are here or
if you will ever show up here again. We’d just like you to know we want you and welcome you.” I cried so hard that I never said a word to them. Couldn’t get one out of my mouth. That small fellowship has wrapped their arms around Keith and me. Their liturgy has put words in my
mouth that have filled me with so much hope again. Their focus on the cross, and on the sacraments and not just primarily upon what is coming from the pulpit has been like a written prescription for me in this season. In 1 million years I could not have imagined that this is what
God would use to sew up my torn up soul. I ask you to understand that I am not speaking poorly of where I’ve been. I’ve loved my heritage. I have been in so much grief. I never would have wanted to leave it. But having had to, God is healing Keith and me in a most unexpected
place. We’ve gone back every Sunday since, scooped up by a small congregation of some of the warmest, kindest, most joyful people we’ve ever met. I’m learning to say the Nicene creed. I’m learning how to drop down the kneeling bench. For this moment in time, we’re right where God
wants us. If enormous pain had come to us in this liturgical world, I would have found respite in a world like that of my heritage. My simple point is, consider a different way of doing the same thing: of worshipping Jesus, of hearing the gospel, of coming under the Scriptures,
even if just for a while. But don’t give up on church. The communion of saints is essential to the believer’s joy and growth and expression of spiritual gifts. I’m going to ask for one thing here from my usual critics. Have a heart today. The people to whom I have written this
are hurting. I am hurting. We are real people here who bleed when we’re cut and bruise when we’re punched. Very imperfect people but fellow humans who have lost something enormous. Just rest it for one day, one thread. And maybe pray for us. We need it so badly.
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Ok, a couple more thoughts on the Bill Gothard influence highlighted in Shiny Happy People. I’m only a couple of episodes in and never got into the Duggar reality show nor did I ever attend a Gothard seminar or read his materials though I constantly ran in circles that did.
Here’s the convoluted part and what I was too tired to get into last night. If any of you have read my memoir, you know the name of it is “all my knotted up life.” Here’s a perfect example of what I mean by my knotted up thinking. Main reason I wasn’t drawn to BG or the Duggar’s?
A tangled up mess of toxic guilt and good discernment. I’ve told you guys before that I’ve spent a lifetime trying to figure out whether or not I could trust my gut. I wasn’t totally off base for wondering because I had such unresolved brokenness and had made so many mistakes.
Here’s the thing. Not a single one of us, no matter how well-meaning or how well read, is going to get it all right. No one among us will have a perfect record. All of us will make some poor choices and have regrets and wish we had done or said this or that differently.
& here’s what I know because I’m old, have made all the mistakes, seen them made. We who judge others mercilessly— I don’t mean critique fairly & knowledgeably—& hold others to standards we don’t meet & are full of conceit will undoubtedly find ourselves on the other end of that.
I could give 1000 caveats here because, of course, leaders make grievous mistakes and need to be held accountable for them. Many commit crimes and abuses and need to be prosecuted for them. But I’m just talking about the piranha affect on Twitter.
Years ago at an event during a Q&A, a woman asked, Beth, what’s the knot in your rope? I thought it was the best question. In other words, what do I hold onto when I’m sliding down a rope, palms burning & blistering & all my formulas failing? I didn’t even have to think about it.
The words of Jesus in John 15:9. “As the Father has loved me, so I love you. Now abide in my love.” Jesus follower, try to grasp the magnitude of what he is saying about you. In the same way God loves Jesus, Jesus loves you. Then he says, LIVE IN THIS TRUTH. IT’S HOME TO YOU.
This is how I think of it: no matter what is happening in my life, this truth must be firmly rooted and grounded, as Paul said in Eph 3, as the deepest belief and reality in my entire existence. In the whole of my day in and day out living.
Did I tell y’all Keith and @MelissaMoore77 went in together and got me a new bicycle for Mother’s Day? I just love it! I’ve decided a new bike was the perfect gift for this season of mourning. I realize while I’m riding it that I’m just smiling and smiling. Smiling’s my favorite.
This is it! Isn’t it adorable? It’s tall, too! I have to stand on my tiptoes.
This is me on it on Sunday if y’all can keep from being weirdos who don’t think Bible teacher should wear shorts.
Whine alert. I could probably use a little prayer, my friends. I went for pre-op for my 1st of 2 eye surgeries yesterday, so anxious to get on with it, and they had to postpone it because my eyes are now not in good enough shape for surgery. Prescriptions and recheck in 6 weeks.
No contacts and at this point even my thick glasses can’t fully correct my vision. Zero driving after dark, etc. I love being dependent on people about as much as I love a stomach virus. Difficulties are relative and there are far worse things but I’m so disappointed.
I was so let down, I almost started crying like an adolescent right there at pre-op. Then I blurted out, “My brother just died,” like the 2 things were related. Oh brother. What a mess. Anyway, I can still do my job & can still read and teach. I just can’t see who I’m teaching.
The Lord is impressing upon me this morning the necessity of the patient proclamation of the gospel. Talk is not only cheap these days. It’s virtually worthless. They don’t believe us and, generally speaking, rightly so. We all want quick growth. Flooded aisles. Big works of God.
We all want to behold enormous demonstrations of the Spirit. We want to watch God work in crowds & he often has & does! I’m no cynic there. I’ve witnessed it! I just want to remind you this morning that we’re hitting that time of year now where our peak crowd, so to speak, has
come to our churches, events & communities of faith for Easter &, praise God, some will stay. Most will go back to their ordinary lives and, if we’re not careful, so will we. But there is nothing ordinary about the Gospel. It is the power of salvation to all who believe.