Thread by @quinncy

A small story:

After over a quarter century together, Consort and I know how to argue. In fact, I’m going to say we aren’t bad at it, abiding by the intimate partner version of Marquess of Queensbury rules which is to say, we sue Oscar Wilde.

(We do not sue Oscar Wilde)

We fight reasonably fairly, we rarely drag in any grudge over 120 days old - unless, of course, it shows a pattern of behavior or I feel like it- we even own the irrational stuff by beginning, “This isn’t rational but also, still mad.”

We have nearly always traded off who is “the upset one” and who is the “I was having a nice day, eating some cheese but sure, let’s do this one.” The few times we’ve both been the upset one…it’s not good.

But anyone who has participated in a ritual long enough begins to recognize certain signposts, markers…omens, if you will.

There’s a point where the original problem has begun to bore both of us and the end is in sight. The argues only have to agree and move on.

There will be two tempting exits, both marked “THIS WAY TO WINNING.”

One is hearing a natural endpoint, sitting with the silence and the blurting, “It’s just that (rehash entire argument.”

In the interests of full disclosure, that one is me.

For some reason, deep down I’m convinced Consort is just one “Previously on Same Stupid Argument You Two Have Had 127 Times” highlights reel away from saying, “ Quinn, not only are right, more importantly, I am wrong.”

“Has this ever occurred, Quinn?”

Shut up.

This is argument Chutes and Ladders and my “It’s just that…” put us back in the first square.

“Poor Consort; that man is a saint.”

Oh, 100%; I live with me and I’m a lot. But his hands aren’t completely clean, either. He has his own siren song at argument’s cease:

“You’re making my point.”

No, I’m not.

Because I’m here and you’re over there and I don’t support arguments from over there and the very idea that I would makes me want to chute you back to square one with a very logical recap.

Newly refreshed by sirens, we doggedly begin again.

And now, HIVEMIND:

Is there something you do, or say when arguing with a loved one that has never worked, but still seems like a good idea in the moment?

And now, THE AD! If you like these Small Stories, can I coax you into helping to support them? I promise to mumbles "Chutes and ladders" at you when you are about to reanimate an argument.

patreon.com/user?u=4846197

And now, the other ad!

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(libro.fm/redeem/Quinn)

My membership benefits
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