Thread by @grnpointer

The House of Faberge made 52 "Imperial" eggs as Easter gifts for Tsars Alexander III and Nicholas II to give to their wives and moms. 46 of these survive. I will rank all 46 Imperial Faberge eggs.

46. Colonnade Egg. This is not an egg. Disqualified.

45. Order of St. George Egg. Boring.

44. Caucasus Egg. Las Vegas poker chip-ass looking egg. Ugly.

43. Fifteenth Anniversary Egg. If my partner got me this entirely uninspired egg for our fifteenth anniversary I would be upset.

42. Tsarevich Egg. Getting better, but pales in comparison to some of the other blue-and-gold eggs, like the Twelve Monograms Egg.

41. Napoleonic Egg. The green is a little gaudy for my tastes. The border pattern is nice.

40. Blue Serpent Clock Egg. Not bad, but subtracting points for not having a "surprise" within as most eggs do. Just a clock. The serpent below is easy to miss, IMHO.

39. Clover Leaf Egg. The colors of this egg are so hideous I begrudgingly respect it. It looks like it spoiled.

38. Rock Crystal Egg. One of a handful of eggs owned by the Va Museum of Fine Arts in Richmond and one of several clear eggs that let you look inside. Of all the clear eggs, this has the lamest surprise. The pictures rotate, though.

37. Alexander III Equestrian Egg. Compare to the Rock Crystal Egg: the surprise is much cooler and the engraving on the egg itself is a nice touch.

36: Steel Military Egg. This egg looks like Dr. Robotnik.

35. Alexander Palace Egg. The model of the Alexander Palace inside is neat, but not nearly as cool as the Gatchina Palace Egg.

34. Cradle with Garlands Egg. A really lovely blue color you don't see on any of the other eggs. The surprise, a miniature of the Romanov children, is missing, which is a little on the nose.

33. Moscow Kremlin Egg. What the fuck. This might be the worst egg, but it might also be the best. Looks like Baba Yaga lives in it or something. You have to respect it.

32. Rosebud Egg. Like a more elegant and understated version of the Caucasus Egg. Points subtracted because the "rosebud" surprise is clearly a lemon.

31. Catherine the Great Egg. Also known as the "Grisaille Egg" for the all-gray paintings in the cameo. Pretty decent.

30. Pansy Egg. I really like the color of this egg, which is sometimes known as the "Spinach Jade Egg." One of the more understated eggs, which I like.

29. Peter the Great Egg. Also in Richmond. Sure.

28. Renaissance Egg. I like the curved lattice on the top of this one. It gets bonus points for being mysterious: the surprise is lost, but some people think the Resurrection Egg, a totally different egg, is actually the surprise once contained within.

27. Romanov Tercentenary Egg. I wasn't into this egg until I saw the surprise: a big rotating blue-and-gold globe of the Russian Empire.

26. First Hen Egg. As you can tell from its simplicity, this was the very first egg, so it gets points for being the OG. But I sort of love the purity of it, and the very charming golden hen inside the golden yolk.

25. Standard Yacht Egg. One of the better clear eggs. The lapis lazuli eagles and snakes really elevate it. Now they're getting good.

24. Basket of Flowers Egg. I love the intricacy of the flowers on this one, but I don't like it as much as some of other flower-based eggs, which do the same thing a little bit better.

23. Peacock Egg. Hell yeah. This is the best of the clear eggs (not including the frosted Winter Egg). Look at the color on that little guy. He looks so confident.

22. Gatchina Palace Egg. The egg itself is no great shakes but imagine opening this to find this gold replica of the Gatchina Palace. This is much better than the Alexander Palace Egg.

21. Imperial Coronation Egg. This is probably the most famous egg, and while it's not my favorite, I like the lemon yellow color and the intricate coach surprise.

20. The subtle periwinkle (?) color on this one's really good, and I like the stylized swan. She's got a little pond to sit on, which is a great touch.

19. Empire Nephrite Egg. This is one of the more visually impressive eggs, and I really love the design along the base. I took points off because most of what makes it cool isn't really the egg itself (or its surprise).

18. Red Cross with Portraits Egg. One of two "Red Cross" eggs I had trouble ranking. I love the Art Deco-style design on this one but the flatness of it leaves it looking a little cheap.

17. Red Cross with Triptych Egg. I give this one the nod over the Red Cross with Portraits Egg because of the subtle texture on the egg itself. Grand Duchess Tatiana looks like somebody's Twitter icon.

16. Twelve Monograms Egg. This one really works. It's busy without being overdone or gaudy and the colors are great.

15. Rose Trellis Egg. This is what the Clover Leaf Egg should have been. I think it does a great job of combining orderly and natural forms, like a real rose garden might.

14. Third Imperial Egg. Reminds me of the Rocketeer.

13. Cockerel Egg. The little chicken pops out and he's cute as fuck

12. Mosaic Egg. The mosaic gives the impression of the Byzantine Empire, or maybe a pixelated video game. Really unique.

11. Danish Palaces Egg. Is this too high? I like the pinkish color with the golden sheen. I bet this really pops IRL.

10. Lilies of the Valley Egg. One of two Art Nouveau eggs (the other is the Pansy Egg). The pearls as lilies are very clever and I like how they droop a little. Definitely a top ten egg.

9. Constellation Egg. This egg was never finished because of the revolution and all, which is too bad, because holy shit, look at it. The crystal cloud? The engraving in the blue glass? Amazing how different it is from the earlier neo-classical eggs.

8. Pelican Egg. Pelicans are cool, and the egg is pure engraved gold with no enameling. It looks sharp as hell.

7. Bouquet of Lilies Egg. Compare this to the "Basket of Flowers" Egg and you can see how much better this one is, with its gold panels contrasting the onyx lilies.

6. Karelian Birch Egg. OK, this one is cool: because of WWI austerity measures, they made this one out of birch panels, but the result is one of the most dignified eggs. "This is the egg of a carpenter"

5. Trans Siberian Railway Egg. Choo choo!

4. Bay Tree Egg. One of my very favorites and by far the best use of natural greenery. There's not really an egg here, but the suggestion of an egg made by the clustered leaves. A little clockwork songbird comes out of the top.

3. Diamond Trellis Egg. Maybe a controversial choice but I like the modern simplicity of this egg, and it has an elephant inside that really walks.

2. Memory of Azov. The velvet interior... the ship that looks like it's rocking on the waves...

1. Winter Egg. This egg really has it all: the frosted snowflakes on the glass, the modernist ice crag with dripping veins of frost, the wood anemones inside that suggest the melting of winter ice and the coming of spring. This is the #1 egg.

@sarcasymptote

I forgot the name of this one. It's "Swan Egg."