I'm slowly coming to terms with the reality that I escaped a homophobic religion and came out as a lesbian, only to find that the 'LGBT+ community' is pretty much the same thing. I turned my back on beliefs that demonised a fundamental part of me. 1/5
I had this wild notion it would be a freeing thing. My daughter told me today her favourite 'TikTok lesbian' has come out as a he/they. It's absolutely everywhere. The negative impact of males in lesbian life has been well discussed, but what I'm seeing is among actual women.2/5
'Normalise asking pronouns' becomes woman after women, GNC or not, insisting they are not a woman at all, though they may still say they are a lesbian. Which is one of the reasons why men can be welcomed as lesbians, because even lesbians don't want to be women. 3/5
I'm fortunate in that I managed, by pure luck, to find a relationship I never want to end. But I'm a grown up & know that's not cast-iron certain. Even if it doesn't, it would still be lovely to have that fabled sense of community with other lesbians without secrecy. 4/5
I intend to stand firm as a woman. I won't try to obscure it or scorn the reality that I am female. But I will admit to being heartbroken that so many other lesbians are running into non-binary or trans identities. This isn't freedom & I'm not joining another religion. 5/5

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More from @TidyStewart

15 Nov
There are virtues & there are vices. We have a reasonable consensus about the difference, and we accept that virtues can look different, depending on the context. Somehow, in each culture, different virtues & vices get attached to one of the two sexes. 1/5
In western culture, we have put 'protection', 'logic' & 'leadership' as 'masculine virtues'. 'Care', 'gentleness' & 'consideration' are 'feminine virtues'. When the whole culture has this rough division, girls & boys are conditioned to pursue only those virtues of their sex. 2/5
In my view, we all benefit from pursuing all the virtues. In the current situation, it has been women in the vanguard of leadership, logic & protection. Men who embrace the virtues of gentleness, care & consideration have been able to make thoughtful contributions. 3/5
Read 5 tweets
13 Nov
"Dr Hilary PhD". Three simple words, easily understood. Or so some people claim. Let's unpack that a bit. 1/12
'Dr' is an abbreviated version of the title 'Doctor'. But what is a doctor? Is it a well trained medical practioner, or a philosophical thinker with a very different field? Are they any good at that? 2/12
It could be someone awarded an honorary doctorate using it to give themselves some faux authority. It could be a Gallifreyan Timelord, who uses the title as a pseudonym because his given name is shrouded in mystery. 3/12
Read 12 tweets
13 Nov
It's that time of the week again. #Strictly thread, just in time. I've just spent ten minutes searching for the zapper.
Claudia doing the table cloth this week, and Motsi taking my eyes out with those shoulder pads and the acid yellow/green.
Tilly & Nikita to kick us off. I think she's one of the celebrities increasingly at risk. She does have ability and charm, so this will be about polish, I think.
Footwork looks scruffy at the start. But that was as charming as we know she can be. I liked it, and given her confidence knock, it was well done. Still in danger, imo. Lovely shoes. Threw in some of the charleston which seemed desperate, tbh.
Read 23 tweets
12 Nov
One of the more depressing things about Genderism, among lesbians in particular, is how susceptible we are to the rhetoric. Modern society talks a good game about accepting people, but we still abide by so many conventions on gendered fashion & behaviour. 1/9
It can't have escaped your notice how low down the social pecking order lesbians are. Publicly, openly scorned & disbelieved for talking about sexual coercion, still subject to lewdness in everyday conversations, along with all the other stuff we get just for being women. 2/9
Then, if we're visibly GNC, it takes an enormous, sustained effort to rebuff assumptions about our belief in Genderism. I guarantee I've been asked my pronouns so much more than a woman in a pretty dress by the thoughtlessly sexist people who are conditioned by Genderism. 3/9
Read 9 tweets
12 Nov
Some women have always disapproved of butch women. My mother was one. She wasn't especially feminine herself, but the acceptable behaviour/appearance was clear. The pressure I received from her & other women to conform was mainly with words or scornful looks. 1/6
As it happens, she was violently abusive, but she was quite indiscriminately motivated, & my being lesbian, or butch, was one among many reasons I got clouted. In fact, when I was very young, being a 'tomboy' was indulged as something I would 'grow out of'. 2/6
I still get double-takes in the women's loo. I get sniggering giggles from teen girls modelling themselves after Ariana Grande. I get 'sir', I get 'he'. I never mind the safety-check second looks. It's when it's obvious that I'm a woman that it's less acceptable. 3/6
Read 6 tweets
10 Nov
You may have come across this group before, very keen to promote the plight of the poor, beleaguered nonces who just get off to the thought of child abuse while not 'acting on it'.
For the sake of the children, of course. 1/6
You won't find any promotion of robust #Safeguarding from them, unsurprisingly, though Allyn there does suggest that the nonces who are finding it too tempting to be around kids remove themselves from those situations. 2/6
Then there's this, because this group are keen on kink & even think that rape victims can deal with their trauma by re-enactment. This is framed as a 'consent tip'. Another one reminds that nudes can only be from 18yos, even though sex is legal at 16. They sound disappointed. 3/6
Read 6 tweets

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