i made the executive decision to skip seasons 9 and 10 of RHOBH because two seasons of just everyone hating on vanderpump is of no interest to me, so I'm starting with s11 to get to Erika's legal drama, and WHEW THIS TAHOE TRIP GOT WILD FAST

I stan Garcelle & Crystal so far
Sutton just immediately being racist in episode 2 after knowing Crystal for 5 minutes and Crystal immediately clocking her as an "I don't see color" girl

"calling people racist is WORSE THAN COVID" this woman is unhinged
Kathy Hilton is literally insane
she brought a BOX FAN on VACATION she is in Kyle's bed drinking a midnight Red Bull and eating Lays and reading a huge stack of newspapers until DAWN, where has she been for 11 seasons
Sutton sobbing over being left out of the martini prank, this season is already amazing

i can't with this woman
Sutton self-soothing with a face roller on a boat in the middle of Lake Tahoe because talking to adults is too stressful while Crystal is like "the stress of moving is not an excuse to be racist"
Garcelle is an actual adult, it is wild watching her deal with housewives

Rinna is like "anyway let's just move past it!" and Garcelle is like " . . . I mean, no, that's not how human relationships work," and Rinna is like "wait what no that's not your line what are you saying"

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More from @clairewillett

16 Nov
there's a two-day window between old couch getting picked up tomorrow and new couch arriving tentatively thursday where i will have no couch and i am so tempted to use it as an excuse to go stay in a hotel, something i have not done in nearly two years
really, if i'm being honest with myself, what i want to do is go spend two nights in a hotel, turn off my phone, leave my laptop at home, and read "the jasmine throne" cover to cover

but alas, this $200k grant isn't going to write itself, a bitch is gonna have to work
got everything moved around and organized for the donation truck to come get my furniture today, which forced me to clear off an empty space at the dining room table full of unsorted piles, and it is crawling with ants, so I burst into stress tears and then booked the hotel room
Read 9 tweets
15 Nov
always telling when women artists who write about relationships - from pop stars to romance authors - get treated as fluff, while we are CONSTANTLY bombarded by shitty "prestige" art from straight white men processing all their past girlfriend baggage at us instead of in therapy
EXACTLY

framing it like Taylor is STILL WRITING SONGS NOW about a relationship that a decade ago makes her sound obsessed and stalkery, but the original album came out in 2012!

it's a comically bad-faith argument designed to trivialize Taylor Swift the way lots of Cooler Than Thou older women like to do by presenting her as shallow and vapid and boy-crazy, which requires that you ignore all her lyrical complexity and evolution as an adult artist
Read 4 tweets
15 Nov
merry Episode of “Salt Lake City” That Andy Cohen Described As an All-Time Top 5 In “Real Housewives” History to all who celebrate ❄️

just got home and am starting now 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
LMAOOOOO this Law & Order timestamp chyron
Lisa’s fake tears are incredible
Read 18 tweets
14 Nov
loving that this is now three episodes of "Leverage: Redemption" where the client is a queer person of color (so many loving queer relationships too!) and also that it's exploring the intersection between Nazi ideology, anti-blackness, and homophobia?? this reboot is going hard
Eliot Spencer getting itchy punching fists when he finds out the gay farmers who supply his food truck got attacked, and then acknowledging to Breana that her just existing as a queer Black girl in this bad guy's space increases the danger she's in over the others, I love my son
having a white male character acknowledge to a queer Black character, on a case about getting justice for another queer Black character, "I recognize that this entire experience on every level is fundamentally different for you than for me" feels revelatory on a show like this
Read 30 tweets
13 Nov
I think at least once a week about the acting class I took in college where the teacher would say like "imagine your whole family is dead!" to get us to cry in a scene and everyone was like "okay got it" and how that was the first time I realized some people can just. do that
my brain: but your whole family isn't dead so that's just words and they don't mean anything so????
like people just . . . have a thought??? and then that thought automatically turns into an emotion??? and then into the physical response to that emotion? just like AT THE DROP OF A HAT???? absolutely incomprehensible to this bitch, my brain does not connect A and B
Read 11 tweets
13 Nov
UMMMMMMM WHO IS KNOCKING ON MY FRONT DOOR AT 1:17 IN THE A.M.????????? dislike???????
and then waiting and knocking again??? i'm stressed

like it could someone who needs help but it also could be cops or something terrifying
okay I’m gonna go poke my head outside just to see because now I’m worried like what if someone is hurt or needs help

if I don’t tweet in the next five minutes someone text me
Read 5 tweets

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