Thread by @bambiseulgi

#mdzs #cql threadfic

the explanations and backstory to my wen xu/wei wuxian ficlet "hold me till the end"
archiveofourown.org/works/35172502

the tl is a bit more stretched out and altered, i.e. it's a few years after the lectures that cloud recesses is attacked

nearly everyone was ofc 15 or 16 during the lectures, and wei wuxian falls in love with lan wangji, who refuses to acknowledge his own feelings

the first major event to note is that jiang fengmian and yu ziyuan die in a "tragic nighthunt" and jiang cheng has to step up at about 18

xuanli, who didn't have all *vaguely waves hand* that going on here, are still engaged and will marry after the mourning period

however, another major alliance is also needed, and so wei wuxian is now open to betrothals

he doesn't love this, but had never expected to be able to fulfill his romantic aspirations, and so isn't surprised, and just hopes whoever he marries is nice enough

there's word that nie mingjue is interested in presenting a proposal for wei wuxian's hand, and word gets back to the twin jades, who immediately intervene

wei wuxian is initially delighted that lan wangji has made an offer, so jiang cheng doesn't say too much about it

many conversations are held, including one between jiang yanli and lan xichen, who assures her that lan wangji is interested in wei wuxian and will keep him happy, and the deal is sealed

wangxian are officially betrothed, and will marry when wei wuxian is 20

wei wuxian's initial joy quickly dissipates with each meeting with lan wangji, who refuses to speak or look or touch him at all, and what few words he does say are typically a sharp reprimand about wei wuxian's behavior

essentially, wangxian are like pre-marriage xuanli

except it's worse, in a way, bc the esteemed lan-er-gongzi is dignified and respectable and speaks only the truth, and wei wuxian is a shameless son of a servant who doesn't know his place

wei wuxian realizes that rather than achieving a fairytale romance like his parents,

he's fallen into the very kind of marriage he feared - a strained, unhappy, quite obviously arranged one, built off of politics

it's worse that such a marriage is with someone he actually loves, because it makes it all the more difficult to mind himself and stay out of the way

there are many incidents in which lan wangji snaps at him or scolds him or ignores him or outright rejects his attempts at friendship at the least that are gossiped about

even when he's turned 20 and is decked in red, it's all people talk about, and wei wuxian is quite tired

concerns about wangxian's incompatibility had been vaguely brought up to lan xichen, who brushed it off and claimed it to be immaturity and ignorance on wei wuxian's, that he needs to learn to be patient and actually make an effort to listen to and communicate with lan wangji

throughout the whole wedding, lan wangji does not spare him a single glance unless forced to, and even then it's never directly at him, and when they leave the celebration to go to what is now their shared home, lan wangji immediately enters a separate room

he does not touch wei wuxian at all, doesn't even remove his veil or perform the jiaobei jiu, and wei wuxian stands very still in the center of this unfamiliar house for a long time as he realizes what has become of his life, and that this union will remain unconsummated

wei wuxian attempts at normalcy, to assimilate into the lans at the least, but it seems his very existence is a violation, and so he keeps himself shut away in the house lan wangji avoids as long as he can to make everyone's life easier

lan xichen is disappointed with wei wuxian's lack of effort with lan wangji and this marriage and mentions his isolation to lan qiren, who is immediately on high alert bc wei wuxian isolating means trouble

lan qiren is right, but not for reasons he thought

when he goes to see the situation from himself, what he finds is a subdued young man with cangse sanren's face and wei changze's eyes and his sister-in-law's quiet despair and his face turns ashen

something is very wrong with wei wuxian

he looks around at cloud recesses, to which wei wuxian had always seemed to be the very antithesis, and wonders if his homes has already started to kill wei wuxian's spirits, and regrets not working harder to prevent the marriage, or at least alter the terms of it

the least he can do now is help wei wuxian adjust

what began as one uncomfortable meeting over tea transforms into daily sessions where lan qiren visits his nephew-in-law and they discuss academics or talisman theory or recent nighthunts, whatever comes to mind

they never speak of the marriage, wei wuxian never utters a word about it or lan wangji or the cloud recesses, and lan qiren doesn't push

he does however encourage wei wuxian to go out, to enjoy the sun before the warm seasons end and the harsh winter keeps everyone inside

it's not until the last few weeks that wei wuxian finally does so, and in the beginning he finds that he is enjoying himself, and thinks he would quite like to come out again tomorrow

but then wei wuxian runs into lan wangji, and it all goes downhill from there

it seems even wei wuxian's very presence draws out every last bit of resentment in lan wangji's body, and what started as a nice day quickly becomes a nightmare as lan wangji humiliates wei wuxian again, very clearly, in front of his sect, and they take their second master's side

it's the last straw for wei wuxian, who goes numb and dazed all over

"i'm sorry i'm so hateful," he whispers blankly, and walks back into his cold little house and resolves to never leave again

lan qiren had heard plenty about the two's conflict, but never saw it firsthand

but he was there this time, and is absolutely appalled, because this was not a childish misunderstanding, it was outright mistreatment

he decided to go after wei wuxian first, but midway he catches lan xichen talking to lan wangji and sighing about wei wuxian's behavior

as if wei wuxian is the one in the wrong, for taking up lan qiren's suggestion

he is furious at his nephews for their misconduct, and at himself for apparently not being a good enough teacher, and says as much, and more, very clearly to the brothers, and assigns punishment

lan wangji is . . . remorseful, and lan xichen too a bit, but neither quite grasp the gravity of what they have done, and why it angers their uncle

and lan qiren must watch as his late best friend's son locks himself into a home he undoubtedly hates, and refuses to leave

he can't have the daily sessions like before either, because wei wuxian frequently claims ill or busy, and when lan qiren is able to meet, wei wuxian is silent and solemn, only responding with minimal words when prompted, and lacks any interest or attention

this continues on, and lan qiren is unable to do anything about it

his anger and disappointment at his nephews doesn't abate either, especially as lan wangji clearly has yet to so much as visit wei wuxian, let alone apologize or make amends

lan qiren always feared that his nephews may follow i their parents' footsteps, but finds those worries unfounded now, as he watches lan wangji destroy his own marriage, a sharp contrast to how his father went against order to maintain his, whatever the circumstances

the winter comes and goes, and lan qiren is unable to make his visits anymore bc of the aggressive weather, and is left to worry about how wei wuxian is faring by himself

wei changze was never particularly fond of the gusu winter, and cangse sanren always liked summer best

lan qiren doesn't think wei wuxian ever weathered through a real winter, not the chilly ones in lotus pier that pass without snowfall, and doubts his nephew-in-law is equipped to handle it, or would enjoy it at all

he makes sure thick blankets and cloaks are provided

by the time he is able to see wei wuxian again, lan qiren is horrified, bc wei wuxian is only a shadow - he could fade into the air with no one the wiser

and it is especially terrifying, because his sister-in-law had looked just like this in the days leading up to her death

it is clear that lan wangji had yet to meet with wei wuxian, but lan qiren is too worried to focus on his anger

like clockwork, he soon receives a worried letter from jiang yanli, who had not received any correspondence from her married brother, however limited it already was

she had wished to visit, but the winter weather kept her at bay, as it was too risky to travel so far, especially when such weather was difficult for even wei wuxian to bear, let alone her

lan qiren winces at that, having seen the evidence himself

jiang yanli and jin zixuan arrange to come to the cloud recesses with jiang cheng at a given time, and lan qiren couldn't bring himself to reveal wei wuxian's deterioration and hopes that being with his siblings help him, because if not even they can, well

lan qiren tells wei wuxian that his siblings wish to visit, and wei wuxian twitches at that but does not properly respond, and so he decides to keep their visit a surprise

when the jiang siblings and jin zixuan arrive, they are surprised to see lan qiren alone waiting

he can pick up on their worry as he very stiffly leads them to wei wuxian's homestead and apologizes in advance for having failed them

when wei wuxian married into gusu lan, it was under the presumption that he would at the least be respected and cared for, and he got neither

wei wuxian briefly makes eye contact with his siblings out of surprise when they meet face to face, but quickly looks away, like it pains him to do even that much, and does not speak to or look at them again, though his eyes visibly water

surprisingly it is jiang cheng who is visibly devastated, repeatedly trying to coax wei wuxian into doing or saying something, anything

he's able to push wei wuxian into eating a bit, but he does not finish any of his food, not even jiang yanli's homemade soup

so jiang cheng can only sit close to his former shixiong and press his head to wei wuxian's shoulder in an apology of sorts for marrying him into misery

but jiang yanli shakes with the sheer volume of her rage, and even if it wasn't clear, zidian's frequent sparking is

she had taken her mother's ring from her brother soon after they first saw wei wuxian, and she seemed to realize quickly that whatever has happened to wei wuxian, her typical comfort wouldn't be enough to make him feel better or fix the situation, and so she rages

she eventually challenges lan wangji and lan xichen to a duel, and refuses to acknowledge anything other than acceptance

it is confusing and fearsome, to see the normally sweet faced young madam jin fuming exactly the way her vicious mother had, and others wonder what caused it

jiang yanli wins both duels, shockingly

for all that the twin jades are of the best cultivators of their generation, jiang yanli is the daughter of yu ziyuan, and has pent up all the fury and resentment of a disabled woman for over 2 decades, and it fueled her to inhuman heights

her attacks were aggressive and violent and endless and merciless, and her stamina refused to run dry until she had beaten the twin jades into the ground

their defeats were followed by a brutal and unkind tongue lashing, and lan qiren wonders when she became wei wuxian's mother

apparently it took this much for lan wangji to finally make a surefire attempt at apology and reconciliation with wei wuxian, but he had no chance of it whilst his in-laws were here - in fact, jin zixuan swore to kill lan wangji should he come near wei wuxian

it was quite obvious that in truth it was jiang yanli who would kill lan wangji, and that jin zixuan was simply ready to take all fault, but it was not any less genuine

so lan wangji hovered as close as he could without evoking ire, and wondered how many chances were lost

it seems there will be no break for any of them however, for it's not even half a month later that a wen army appears at cloud recesses, ready to conquer

wen xu leads the group, and they are able to make some damage and draw out many gusu lan disciples, including lan wangji

they combat directly, and wen xu breaks lan wangji's leg, when a ward thrumming heavily with power is suddenly drawn up and forces all wens back and out of the cloud recesses boundary, allowing lan wangji and other injured disciples to be dragged away for treatment

lan qiren already knows who this array belongs to, and judging from the gasps, so do the jiang siblings, who just joined the fray

he doesn't think they've ever seen the ward, but they can surely tell who made it, and he isn't very surprised

lan qiren had seen the array during the tea sessions with wei wuxian, before his run-in with lan wangji that lead to his unofficially secluding himself, and had offered feedback and suggestions and approval himself

he knows the details of this array very well, so he knows it's

directly tied to wei wuxian's life force

and sure enough, the man himself shows up, thin and blank faces, and positions himself right at the very edge of the array, face to face with wen xu, who watches him with an intrigued glint in his eye

what follows is the most bizarre yet worrisome exchange yet

wen xu offered marriage to wei wuxian, who very blandly stated he was already married, and that to marry wen xu he would have to divorce first, and he had no good reason to simply divorce and marry wen xu as is did he

this somehow lead to an agreement between the two that if wen xu would kill wen ruohan and promise not to continue his reign of terror or subjugate the sect, wei wuxian would immediately announce his divorce and remarriage to wen xu

no one expected wen xu to accept it

judging from wei wuxian's reaction, which was the most emotion anyone had seen from him in a very long while, he didn't expect it either, was likely speaking for the heck of it

wen xu only says to give him a week, and that he will be back for wei wuxian as sect leader

they don't know what to make of the announcement, confused even when the wens are long gone, but wei wuxian takes care of it by requesting all precautions and preparations be taken care of in case wen xu merely returns with a larger army or such

but he himself does not move

jiang cheng tries to plead a bit, but his former shixiong is unmoving, unwilling to leave the edge of the ward or even take it down, so they can only bring him food and company where he stands

wen xu returns in 3 days, and lan qiren is relieved only bc wei wuxian will now stop

true to his word, wen xu had somehow overthrown and killed his father, and is now the qishan wen sect leader

true to his word, wei wuxian cuts the lan spousal ribbon in front of everyone in cloud recesses, and he makes an enchanted vow with wen xu to maintain their agreement

i'm really tired rn so i'll finish this up later

ayo besties here we go

the last thing lan qiren or the jiang siblings want is for wei wuxian to sacrifice himself to the wen - wasn't one miserable marriage enough? - but wei wuxian stands firm and goes with wen xu immediately

his whole life he'd been putting himself aside for jiang, why stop now?

even if they had tried to force wei wuxian not to leave, they couldn't have, with the barrier holding them all back, ensuring their safety from the wens but preventing them from ensuring wei wuxian's safety from his lack of self preservation and care

lan wangji had heard of wen xu's arrival and rushed to escape the healer's clutches, and was there to see wei wuxian cut the spousal ribbon and announce the divorce, and leave with wen xu, deaf to lan wangji's far too late pleas and desperate apologies

later, when lan wangji demands of the others why they would not intervene, zidian crackles violently from jiang yanli's finger again and jiang cheng breaks his rib

lan qiren briefly chastises him for the violence, but sides with the jiang siblings anyway

"it was either a terrible marriage with someone he loved who would not treat him appropriately, or a terrible marriage with someone he did not love," replied lan qiren coolly. "he had expectations that very much were not met here. at least the wens are predictable."

"and if push came to pull, wei wuxian could run away or defend himself. he holds no interest for any wen, let alone wen xu. he couldn't ever raise a hand or turn against you, though," jiang yanli added bitterly.

except the situation wasn't as they thought, really

after a few months of silence, in which the wen indeed made no more attempts at annihilating minor sects, jiang yanli and jiang cheng receive a letter from qishan

it's from wei wuxian, who stated that he had much to talk about and invited them to qishan for a visit

the siblings take their leave as soon as they can, worried, and fearing the worst

they are to meet wei wuxian not at nightless city but a bustling village market, at a popular tea and snack shop, which is odd and atypical

when they arrive at the designated time, they find wei wuxian with a wen at each side - wen qing and wen ning, they realize, whom wei wuxian made an effort to befriend during the lectures when he was 15

but what surprises them most is that wei wuxian looks significantly better

he is still thinner than he once was, and has yet to lose the exhausted air, but he's talking and eating again - slowly and lightly, but it's a far cry from when he was in the cloud recesses

wen ning even draws a small chuckle out of him, and the jiang siblings are relieved

wei wuxian greets them with a soft but somewhat nervous smile, likely recalling the events of the last time they saw each other, but he sheds the worry when his siblings simply draw him into a very tight joint hug

they separate and greet the wen siblings next

then sit for a very light meal as wei wuxian tells them what has happened since he came to qishan, and why he called, and the jiang siblings find themselves surprised again, because apparently wen xu is not completely a vile heathen according to wei wuxian

they hadn't even married yet, he reveals, because wen xu has taken all this time to court him first, and when officially asked to marry last week, wei wuxian agreed, and wanted his siblings to know and be there

wen xu looks at him, talks to him, listens to him, stays by him

wen xu doesn't avoid his existence with his life, actually wants wei wuxian around, does not hate him

it's far more than he had ever gotten from lan wangji

he'd also kept his side of the vow as promised, ofc, given that he was still alive - he's hardly a saint, but he's not

the absolute worst person apparently, and apparently probably ranks above lan wangji in such categories if wei wuxian's treatment is anything to go by

what good is a man who lives lawfully but drives his spouse to the depths of despair?

wei wuxian and wen xu have worked out

an amiable relationship, one that although involves certain expectations and requirements, has been discussed and satisfactorily agreed to by both parties

they may not be in love, but love only ruined wei wuxian

it is a very long conversation that ends with an agreement and confirmation for the wedding, and promises of more visits and letters

and then wen xu himself comes to pick up his cousins and new betrothed, and meets the jiangs properly

after an awkward minute, jiang cheng questions him sharply, but wen xu only quirks an eyebrow and grins sarcastically

"i'm hardly stupid, jiang-zongzhu. i can recognize a valuable, and i don't treat them without care. we're not ignorant ascetics here."

wen xu clearly has more to say, but the jab at the lans and lan wangji makes wei wuxian still and stiffen, and so he cuts off whatever he was going to say

the jiangs are wary, but the wen siblings have sworn to stay by wei wuxian's side, and wei wuxian himself chose this

they give their blessings and leave knowing they will be returning multiple times over, and if they have any reason to suspect wen xu of despicable behavior, they'll simply rid him of his head and take their brother back to lotus pier

the wedding itself was a relatively small affair, still grand ofc but not the monstrosities major weddings tend to be or like wangxian's was

it turns out wen xu actually has some tact

so only sect leaders/reps and perhaps a few disciples are invited

from the nie, the brothers; from the jin, jiang yanli and jin zixuan; from the lan, lan qiren; from the jiang, jiang cheng and many disciples - he brings the most out of anyone as wei wuxian's former shidimen will always wish to see him off, and hope this marriage is better

nie mingjue, who had not gone to wangxian's wedding and had yet to mend his friendship with lan xichen, sees the son and killer of the man who killed his father and the one he wished to pursue sitting next to each other in red, and shoves all the complex feelings away to drink

lan qiren sees wei wuxian looking much better and more comfortable here then he ever was in the cloud recesses or even at his first wedding, and the shame comes back tenfold

lan wangji never looked at wei wuxian at their wedding, whilst wen xu hardly ever tears his eyes away

while the wens are still a threatening power, they aren't pushing boundaries as intensely as they did before wen ruohan's death

many are still arrogant and leave much to be desired, but the sects no longer have to fear subjugation or annihilation so much

word spreads throughout the regions about how wei wuxian is to thank for the improvement, that he had caught wen xu's eye and in exchange for the end to wen ruohan's terrifying reign and the threats to jianghu, he sacrificed his own hand and risked his reputation

he's a bit of a hero, and a few months into their marriage wen xu teasingly recites the flowery tales he's overheard to wei wuxian, who was drowsing on his shoulder but quickly wakes up out of embarrassment and whines at him to stop, but wen xu only laughs at his red flush

wei wuxian had meant it when he told his siblings that his relationship with wen xu was an amiable one, despite the heaviness that he hadn't been able to shed in full, and the inevitable tragedy waiting for them

wei wuxian never meant to settle or get attached, but alas

their deaths were supposed to be quick and done with soon after he left gusu lan, that was wei wuxian's plan, but the courting and leveling of their relationship had pushed that off, and it kept being held back, and now it was impossible to look into the future without grief

wen xu enjoys his company, is intrigued by his intelligence, is enthusiastic about his touch and intimacy, and for all his faults wei wuxian cannot hate him, much like he couldn't hate lan wangji, but the difference is that wen xu doesn't hate him either, and that lan wangji

would never have to die, would never have to be killed like wen xu, who for all his attempts can never run from his arrogance and bloodthirstiness, and is destined to follow his father's footsteps, a fate that would have been prevented early if only he did not care

wen xu's weaknesses and faults are all his own, but not everything is within his control, like the poisonous nature of his qi

not all cultivation practices, even if not unorthodox, are safe or efficient, and the main wen line practiced an aggressive development of the core

that had notable risk and was prone to driving them to an unstoppable megalomania

a brutal but quick core development strategy that would make them strong and fierce quickly, but cursed the main wen the way the nie's sabers cursed their sect

except it wasn't actually known that the almost violent development regimen was directly responsible for such violent consequences, that it lead to volatile qi that fueled a growing quench for brutality and power, that after a threshold would be unstoppable and had to be fed

it was simply known that the main wen line was prone to losing reason in favor of pursuit of dominance, and that wen xu had been showing the signs for a long time already, and that it was inevitable that he'd take after his father, that he'd break the vow eventually

wen xu must and will die, if not at wei wuxian's hands then because of the vow, which will prosecute him for the inevitable violations of his vow, but not until after it's done, not until after the harm is done and he undoubtedly hurts wei wuxian with it, directly or indirectly

wei wuxian does not know the full details of the main wen line's curse, but he is there to see wen xu's gradually approaching instability, already sees the way he so closely toes the line of what's acceptable, the way his arrogance plays such a large role in all he does

so he knows wen xu will and have to die, sooner or later

but for now, he cannot bring himself to do a thing, and wen xu has yet to break the vow

on their first wedding anniversary, wen xu takes wei wuxian to a lotus pond, newly grown in qishan just for him

it becomes a favorite spot of wei wuxian's, and he frequently is seen there with wen qing and wen ning, and on some of jiang yanli and jiang cheng's visits wei wuxian brings them there too

the tale of wei wuxian and wen xu's complicated but still endearing marriage is popular

one year becomes two, then three, then four, and wen xu wakes early one day with a still sleeping wei wuxian snuggled into him and realizes he needs to die soon, that he will inevitably destroy this, and the time is drawing very near, and he can't do anything about it

wei wuxian has noticed and realized too, and for all the he wishes otherwise he knows wen xu must die, but is reluctant to see it through

he's never allowed to keep happy things, it seems

after much time of deliberation, he settles on a route both painful and relieving

it is on an unordinary, unsuspecting day that wen xu has a drink and realizes with the first swallow that he's been poisoned

he only shudders minutely in reaction, before heading to his bedroom to see the one who poisoned him, because he knows very well who it is

he finds wei wuxian sitting beside the bed, pale and shaking, because he consumed the same poison he gave to wen xu, and what is wen xu to do but join his husband in their last hour?

and that's where the fic takes off from, linked again:
archiveofourown.org/works/35172502

afterwards it's wen ning who finds them, and while he knew the day was coming it's not any less devastating

the jiang siblings are the first to learn that wen qing has become sect leader, and that their brother died with his husband

they're given a dignified and honorable funeral, together, and many people attend to offer their respects

lan wangji appears, for a brief time, paler than his stark white mourning robes, and can only blame himself for his faults, for ruining every chance he had

the jiang siblings are of the most aggrieved of course, alongside the wen siblings, who explain to the jiang siblings many of the unknown details, like the main wen line's curse, and how and why the couple died, and they meet every year to honor wei wuxian

and yea that's a basically all of it i'm pretty sure

if you want a happier ending just know there's au of this au where wwx finds out he's pregnant and now refuses to kill wx so now it's a race against time to figure out how stop the megalomaniac qi disorder so they can raise their kid

alternate everyone lives version is also up now, and i might end up writing another threadfic with more backstory + the future

archiveofourown.org/users/pomellog…