will probably delete this because the feels are v. raw but whew that medical fatphobia PTSD where you're braced for an onslaught of trauma with every new doctor and then even when they're great and incredibly respectful you are still emotionally exhausted by the end of the appt
I've been really appreciative of how the doctors I've dealt with since my hospitalization have found ways to talk about weight that aren't shaming (i.e. "I'm putting you on X blood thinner and not Y because the research on Y is insufficient and does not cover all weight classes")
today it was like, "there is one very specific weight-related circumstance where this surgery might not be possible but that has only happened once in my career and I've done it very successfully with many people who look like you so please don't worry about that just yet"
so in the moment i was like "oh okay that makes sense" and she was very chill about it but somehow i still burst into tears on the phone with my sister afterwards because i couldn't silence the voice in my brain which translated it to "you might be too fat to deserve healthcare"
also LOLOLOLOLOL even though this doctor is IN NETWORK with my primary care provider she is STILL NOT COVERED by my current insurance plan, apparently I am only covered for surgery at one hospital in all of Oregon and would have to start over there if I wasn't already switching
the Moda Beacon plan can choke tbh

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More from @clairewillett

20 Nov
all right fam let’s go Image
this show really gets that the missing thing in high fantasy is that more Gandalfs should be milfs

also hot parents ship bathtub scene at 18 minutes in, thank you for my rights
I have not read the books, I am coming in fresh as a newborn babe, so please no spoilers!
Read 40 tweets
19 Nov
the Rittenhouse verdict isn't JUST a message to the other Rittenhouses of the world, the gleefully violent racism enthusiasts who wear the label proudly; it's also intended to encourage silence and compliance from other white people so they can claim they speak for the majority
every time these things happen it gets a little bit easier for white people who think of themselves as basically good people but are on the fence about speaking up or not to keep their heads down and their mouths shut for their own safety
we were MEANT to see how transparently the judge favored a defendant who stood in alignment with white supremacy, how many favors he got, how the whole trial was structured to center him as the victim. that's the reward for compliance with the system! you get access to the perks!
Read 5 tweets
19 Nov
from the bottom of my heart, don’t do this today

this is the wrong time and place to be centering your hopes and dreams for Rittenhouse’s future over the people he killed and the Black communities he intentionally terrorized
like, listen

I'm Catholic

my people believe in redemption

I am comforted by the belief that there is no such thing as too late to repent, that anyone can look inward and see their own truth and get right with God

but that's between him and God

our duty is to those he harmed
and frankly it's hard to see "here's hoping that young man gets his life together", tweeted in your out-loud voice, TODAY, RIGHT NOW, as anything other than a slightly gentler way of saying "but aren't perpetrators the real victims"
Read 4 tweets
16 Nov
i made the executive decision to skip seasons 9 and 10 of RHOBH because two seasons of just everyone hating on vanderpump is of no interest to me, so I'm starting with s11 to get to Erika's legal drama, and WHEW THIS TAHOE TRIP GOT WILD FAST

I stan Garcelle & Crystal so far
Sutton just immediately being racist in episode 2 after knowing Crystal for 5 minutes and Crystal immediately clocking her as an "I don't see color" girl

"calling people racist is WORSE THAN COVID" this woman is unhinged
Kathy Hilton is literally insane
Read 7 tweets
16 Nov
there's a two-day window between old couch getting picked up tomorrow and new couch arriving tentatively thursday where i will have no couch and i am so tempted to use it as an excuse to go stay in a hotel, something i have not done in nearly two years
really, if i'm being honest with myself, what i want to do is go spend two nights in a hotel, turn off my phone, leave my laptop at home, and read "the jasmine throne" cover to cover

but alas, this $200k grant isn't going to write itself, a bitch is gonna have to work
got everything moved around and organized for the donation truck to come get my furniture today, which forced me to clear off an empty space at the dining room table full of unsorted piles, and it is crawling with ants, so I burst into stress tears and then booked the hotel room
Read 9 tweets
15 Nov
always telling when women artists who write about relationships - from pop stars to romance authors - get treated as fluff, while we are CONSTANTLY bombarded by shitty "prestige" art from straight white men processing all their past girlfriend baggage at us instead of in therapy
EXACTLY

framing it like Taylor is STILL WRITING SONGS NOW about a relationship that a decade ago makes her sound obsessed and stalkery, but the original album came out in 2012!

it's a comically bad-faith argument designed to trivialize Taylor Swift the way lots of Cooler Than Thou older women like to do by presenting her as shallow and vapid and boy-crazy, which requires that you ignore all her lyrical complexity and evolution as an adult artist
Read 4 tweets

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