Tim Clare Profile picture
Nov 19, 2021 22 tweets 9 min read Read on X
Christmas is fast approaching, & for some, it's the only time each year they play boardgames. It would be a colossal tragedy if, during this age of unprecedented variety & quality, you were stuck playing games that were a bit crap. Here is a recommendations thread:
'My family are always ganging up on each other!'
Try NOT ALONE, a simple card-based version of Murder In The Dark where a bunch of you play astronauts who've crashlanded on a weird planet, & the other player is the sinister hivemind hunting you down. It's quick, atmospheric & fun
'If I have to play another round of Charades I swear to God I will hang every man, woman & child in the British Isles'
Woah, cool your jets Murdery McMurderson. Want a party game that's a piece of piss? WITS & WAGERS has you covered. Guess answers to Qs & bet on who's closest.
'We're very competitive but too apathetic for table tennis'
If you can find a copy, SAFRANITO is 1 game where the 'spice' is right. Sorry, if it's not clear from that pun it's like shove a ha'penny mixed with a stock exchange. Bid on spices! Fail to throw a small plastic disc 3"!
'We always end up doing a puzzle'
Omg if you like putting squares by other squares I can offer you not 1, not 2, but thrice tres bien games of this nature: CARCASSONNE (southern French puzzling), ISLE OF SKYE (Scottish whisky puzzling), or TANG GARDEN (ancient Chinese puzzling).
'I can only get through it with wine'
VITICULTURE, my friend. Grow some wines. Age some wines. Sell... some wines. Let people pay you to take little tours of your vineyard. Build a windmill. Get a little wooden rooster. All this & more can be yours in... 'Grapeworld' (it's good)
'I bet we'll have an argument'
Well if you like *betting* my friend you should try QUACKS OF QUEDLINGBURG, where you compete to make the best potions, adding more & more but always risking having the whole cauldron explode in your face. Will you like it? If you're not a big fool
'I can't play complicated games, also I don't want to play for more than 5 minutes'
TIMELINE actually has you covered. Pull cards from a deck & try, 1 by 1, to put them in chronological order. I've played this with my 5 year old daughter & with my whole family. Co-op or vs. Good!
'We actually like boardgames & would enjoy the opportunity to play something complex on this rare occasion of being together & having time'
TERRAFORMING MARS with the PRELUDE expansion & the extra boards is a good option. All the expansions except TURMOIL are pretty great, IMHO.
Following on from the above, if you're after a genuinely epic experience & there are a few of you who don't mind committing, TWILIGHT IMPERIUM is an intergalactic saga with space battles, genuinely good diplomacy, trading & more. I have mixed but mostly positive feelings about it
'I want to play with the kids' toys'
The uninspiringly-titled WILDLIFE SAFARI looks like it should be rubbish but it's actually... really quick, fun & charming? Play a card, pick up a cute animal. Try to score the most points over multiple rounds. It's by legend Reiner Knizia.
'Please God nobody mention politics...'
TAMMANY HALL plays well at 3-5 & is a really exciting game of mid-nineteenth century New York politics as you compete to win elections by stuffing wards with immigrants who owe you a favour. Negotiation & bidding are tense & fun!
'... or race...'
If it's a race you want, FORMULA D is one of the best games out there, seating a mighty 2-10 players, with rules that scale from very simple (roll a dice, move your car) to more crunchy, complex versions with gears, tyre wear, varied weather & driver powers.
'...or religion.'
Holy flip if you don't mind something a little on the thinkier side, TROYES is a rewarding puzzle where you place workers in the yeomanry, clergy & aristocracy, trying to establish your dynasty's reputation while building a huge cathedral & fighting off bandits.
If you all want to work together, MYSTERIUM is essentially CLUEDO, except the murder victim is back as a ghost, the other players are all mediums & the ghost is sending them weird visions to help them uncover whodunnit. My favourite co-operative boardgame - it oozes flavour.
'I don't like all this silly theme'
LIARS DICE also sold under the proprietary name PERUDO has no theme at all. It's just dice in cups. You roll your dice, secretly look at them, & make bids. It's easy to pick up & unreasonably fun. (SKULL is the beermat version of this)
'Can't we just play something with a deck of cards?'
Well look. I think NO THANKS is one of the best card games I've ever played. Looks rubbish, but it's actually astonishingly fun at higher player counts. I don't understand why - it seems too simple to be enjoyable, yet it is.
LOVE LETTER is a wonderous card game for 2-4 players. Very small deck, reasonably simple rules, plays quick, but there's a lot of game in this tiny package. Some nice guesswork involved, plenty of surprise, but you also feel like you get to make skilled plays. Amazing.
If you want a traditional card game, the Italian trick taking game SCOPA is simple & really fun. You can use a standard deck with some cards removed or buy a Sicilian 40-card deck (modelled here by me)
If you want to stick to a standard French-suited deck, OH HELL aka NOMINATION WHIST or OH WELL (to those squeamish about language) is a terrific trick-taking game that is basically whist, with trumps, where you have to guess each turn how many tricks you'll take. It's brilliant.
'We just want to fling stuff at each other'
I can't believe I nearly forgot COCONUTS! It's beer pong but with monkey catapults, themed around the Journey to the West. It's *really fun*. There's a 2 player version, COCONUTS DUO, & you can combine them for 6 player chimp action.
Those are my suggestions for now - if you have any specific requirements please @ me below & I can make recommendations. I enjoy doing it because it's one of the few occasions on which it's socially acceptable to monologue about one of my special interests.

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More from @TimClarePoet

Oct 23
I'm not sure I'm ever surprised by something's not being a success, because in all media, luck plays such a huge role. It's not that quality isn't a big help, it's just that luck & structural advantages are such force multipliers that raw quality alone can't overcome them.
THAT SAID I am surprised to the point of being a bit pissed off that more people don't celebrate Joraku, especially the deluxe reprint. It's superb. I worked with a friend learning how to do video just to do a video on it:
boardgamegeek.com/video/455581/j…
It mixes trick taking with area control, like this year's smash hit Arcs, but it's quick, really easy to teach, beautifully thematic, just an awesome midweight game. Almost everyone I teach it to comes away having had a great game. It's criminally slept-on.
Read 7 tweets
Apr 3
Something that's been consuming me for the past few days is: if you put 100 humans on a desert island with their memories wiped, how long would it be before they invented Ludo? It's #AutismAcceptanceMonth so you actually have to hear me out on this. Ok: Image
So in evolution there's the concept of a phylogenetic tree where you can trace various evolutionary lineages & how through successive mutations different life forms split & branch out. Game historians often trace the development of games in a similar way. Image
Now it's an imperfect analogy because, unlike lifeforms, games develop through a mixture of accident & design. It's a spectrum, from misremembered rules, mistakes introduced through reproduction, to local house rules, to conscious redesign, to entirely designed 'new' games. Image
Read 30 tweets
Nov 9, 2022
Should writers use social media for self promotion? I don't have enough thoughts on this for a whole podcast (though I've spoken to publicists on the show) but I do have enough for a thread. 🧵
If you consider TikTok, YouTube & Instagram it's clear there are some authors who literally would not have a book deal without their social media presence. Maybe they do regular cooking posts or MH ones or whatever, they've found an audience & a book makes sense as merch. Cool.
That's the most direct relationship where one relies on the other. For everyone else, *your* posts on social media are probably not going to significantly impact your sales, but if they are a net benefit to your life there's no reason not to do them.
Read 9 tweets
May 1, 2022
3 years ago, I was so anxious I could barely function. I was having punishing panic attacks every week, sometimes several times a day for 2-3 days. They would put me on the floor, screaming for help. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was going mad. It was... not ideal. 🧵
I had also just released my latest book, THE ICE HOUSE, so I needed to find something to write about. I was a bit burnt out on fiction, so I tried to think of a nonfiction subject I legitimately had some expertise in. 'Being mentally ill' was all I came up with. 🤷
It's weird, looking back, that anxiety & overconfident can co-exist in the same person. I was convinced that I knew *tons* about severe anxiety & panic, what they meant, & what the science says about them. After all, I had 'lived experience'. I'd read... a bunch of articles?
Read 29 tweets
Apr 30, 2022
Amazing that Neil Parish's wife comes out with 'it takes two to tango - someone must have posed for it', implying... what? Sex workers should share 50% of the blame for an adult MP's decision to watch porn in the House of Commons? They lured him into it? Incredible.
I don't understand this tragic infantilisation of men who on the one hand expect to be taken seriously as politicians & business leaders & on the other hand have no agency whatsoever & expect women to mother them & blame everyone else for their lack of impulse control.
I suppose it's a more palatable alibi than 'you married a selfish mediocrity who contributes to making our democracy a hostile environment for women'. But then I guess if you marry a Tory, his being a complete moral sinkhole is costed in.
Read 4 tweets
Apr 29, 2022
I have a nonfiction book coming out next Thursday, & gosh, it is *interesting* seeing which parts different interviewers ask about, & the slant different media outlets put on the same material. There's no overt misrepresentation - just these notable shifts in emphasis.
Of course, if your entire book can be easily summed up in a short article or interview, it was too long. Different bits of media are for different audiences. But it fascinates me what parts of the book certain outlets want me to talk about, & what parts they ignore.
It's making me think of how I approach authors when I chat with them on the podcast. Obviously I have particular connections to their work, particular things that interest me. & maybe sometimes it feels like I'm pointedly overlooking other aspects that matter to them.
Read 4 tweets

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