all right fam let’s go
this show really gets that the missing thing in high fantasy is that more Gandalfs should be milfs

also hot parents ship bathtub scene at 18 minutes in, thank you for my rights
I have not read the books, I am coming in fresh as a newborn babe, so please no spoilers!
the lantern festival is so PRETTYYYYYYYY also Mat bought one for his mom 🥺
I am immediately into this matriarchal witchery and the caste system between village witches and like the Witch Pentagon or wherever Rosamund Pike lives
oh fuck oh fuck not the nice village dance party
A+ monsters good job production team I am officially Shook™️
ABOUT THE FUCK TIME, MORAINE

also whew whew whew the battle couple energy of watching her and Lan fight together is 🔥🔥🔥
okay now are we seeing all our kiddos fighting the Minotaur things because they’re just everywhere or are we seeing them all specifically because the monsters have the same magical spidey-senses as Moraine 🤔🤔🤔

(obviously, do not tell me)
Gandalf, Dumbledore and Allanon found QUAKING
I am DEVASTATED for my son Parrin, I already want to protect these children with my life
that was an AMAZING pilot, this could not be more Extremely My Shit

everyone who knows ANYTHING about me will have instantly clocked that I will now ship Lan and Moraine until I DIE and if anything happens to either of them I will light my television on fire

NO SPOILERS PLEASE
my heart entirely stopped beating at that river dock scene
I love the implication that this world is huge with many different culture who all have different names for magic but it’s the same force

the world of this show already feels satisfyingly vast without getting you bogged down into a million different locations or people yet
just women sitting in the woods shooting the shit about magic and power, I love this
HE COUGHED UP A BAT?!?!?
even before I saw Mr. Witchburner guy with the Whitecloaks I was like, this is sus, nothing good in this universe can come of a huge group of all dudes
ooooooh Lan Mandragoran does NOT like watching the Questioner put hands on his boss slash queen slash wife
WHAT DID THOSE WOLVES KNOW
yes please to all of these sets but especially the abandoned walled city
Mat and Parrin are my precious children and I love them so much even though I hate that Parrin is keeping this sad sad guilty secret
I am such a predictable shipper bitch but Protective Lan has me ALL in my feels
[redacted] IS ALIVE?!?!???? what an ending!
oh god this chase and escape I am so stressed I cannot BREATHE
okay but I’m gonna be grumpy if I’m supposed to ship Lan with anyone who is not Moraine
every single dream everyone has had in this show has been HARROWING, I think they should simply never sleep
I love that the foreboding music instantly tells us that this is a Bad Guy Town
for some reason, when the balladeer was announced and we just saw his hands strumming for a minute like his face was going to be a reveal, my first thought was “….. it’s going to be Sting”

that just felt like the kind of thing he would do
every song in this universe is an ominous minor-key banger
lmao okay so the bard multiclassed as a rogue apparently
me, knowing that the classic Joseph Campbell hero’s journey arc of basically every western high fantasy epic requires that the squad get split up: ugh I hate it when the squad gets split up
YAY YAY THEY FOUND NEW FRIENDS
I like that Dana just fully assumed they were boyfriends
oh okay so balladeer is a dilf
extremely into all the Light and Wheel theology
OH FUCK OH NO THE BETRAYAL
OH HI ALVARO MORTE

MISSED YOU, BABY
it’s The Dragon and I’m extremely hyped he is in this show, I hope he gets to be absolutely bananapants crazy
so distracted by seeing one of my other TV boyfriends that I completely forgot to scream about the ice queen milf with the red cape and the lethal cheekbones and the smoldering sexual tension slash competitive antagonism with Moraine
anyway my verdict is 10/10 I’m very excited, everyone who knows me and predicted this show would be my jam was right

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More from @clairewillett

19 Nov
the Rittenhouse verdict isn't JUST a message to the other Rittenhouses of the world, the gleefully violent racism enthusiasts who wear the label proudly; it's also intended to encourage silence and compliance from other white people so they can claim they speak for the majority
every time these things happen it gets a little bit easier for white people who think of themselves as basically good people but are on the fence about speaking up or not to keep their heads down and their mouths shut for their own safety
we were MEANT to see how transparently the judge favored a defendant who stood in alignment with white supremacy, how many favors he got, how the whole trial was structured to center him as the victim. that's the reward for compliance with the system! you get access to the perks!
Read 5 tweets
19 Nov
from the bottom of my heart, don’t do this today

this is the wrong time and place to be centering your hopes and dreams for Rittenhouse’s future over the people he killed and the Black communities he intentionally terrorized
like, listen

I'm Catholic

my people believe in redemption

I am comforted by the belief that there is no such thing as too late to repent, that anyone can look inward and see their own truth and get right with God

but that's between him and God

our duty is to those he harmed
and frankly it's hard to see "here's hoping that young man gets his life together", tweeted in your out-loud voice, TODAY, RIGHT NOW, as anything other than a slightly gentler way of saying "but aren't perpetrators the real victims"
Read 4 tweets
18 Nov
will probably delete this because the feels are v. raw but whew that medical fatphobia PTSD where you're braced for an onslaught of trauma with every new doctor and then even when they're great and incredibly respectful you are still emotionally exhausted by the end of the appt
I've been really appreciative of how the doctors I've dealt with since my hospitalization have found ways to talk about weight that aren't shaming (i.e. "I'm putting you on X blood thinner and not Y because the research on Y is insufficient and does not cover all weight classes")
today it was like, "there is one very specific weight-related circumstance where this surgery might not be possible but that has only happened once in my career and I've done it very successfully with many people who look like you so please don't worry about that just yet"
Read 6 tweets
16 Nov
i made the executive decision to skip seasons 9 and 10 of RHOBH because two seasons of just everyone hating on vanderpump is of no interest to me, so I'm starting with s11 to get to Erika's legal drama, and WHEW THIS TAHOE TRIP GOT WILD FAST

I stan Garcelle & Crystal so far
Sutton just immediately being racist in episode 2 after knowing Crystal for 5 minutes and Crystal immediately clocking her as an "I don't see color" girl

"calling people racist is WORSE THAN COVID" this woman is unhinged
Kathy Hilton is literally insane
Read 7 tweets
16 Nov
there's a two-day window between old couch getting picked up tomorrow and new couch arriving tentatively thursday where i will have no couch and i am so tempted to use it as an excuse to go stay in a hotel, something i have not done in nearly two years
really, if i'm being honest with myself, what i want to do is go spend two nights in a hotel, turn off my phone, leave my laptop at home, and read "the jasmine throne" cover to cover

but alas, this $200k grant isn't going to write itself, a bitch is gonna have to work
got everything moved around and organized for the donation truck to come get my furniture today, which forced me to clear off an empty space at the dining room table full of unsorted piles, and it is crawling with ants, so I burst into stress tears and then booked the hotel room
Read 9 tweets
15 Nov
always telling when women artists who write about relationships - from pop stars to romance authors - get treated as fluff, while we are CONSTANTLY bombarded by shitty "prestige" art from straight white men processing all their past girlfriend baggage at us instead of in therapy
EXACTLY

framing it like Taylor is STILL WRITING SONGS NOW about a relationship that a decade ago makes her sound obsessed and stalkery, but the original album came out in 2012!

it's a comically bad-faith argument designed to trivialize Taylor Swift the way lots of Cooler Than Thou older women like to do by presenting her as shallow and vapid and boy-crazy, which requires that you ignore all her lyrical complexity and evolution as an adult artist
Read 4 tweets

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