Thread by @DevLinguistic

Being "in your head" when you speak is a recipe for disaster

With women, on camera, on sales calls. . . people can sense your nervousness

Steal this 4-step framework to get out of your head and sound confident

[Thread]

We've all been there

You're talking to someone. . . but you're not sure you're making yourself clear

You start second-guessing yourself. You stop sounding confident

Clarity goes out the door. Filler words & rants come in

What's going on here?

You're are trying to edit yourself on the fly, and that's a problem

Ask any good writer & they'll tell you "write first, edit later"

Because you can't create and analyze at once

The same applies to speaking. But there's a catch. . .

"Edit later" is not usually an option when you're speaking

The exception is when you are recording something. . . but on presentations, sales calls, interviews?

Whatever comes out of your mouth is the final product

What does that mean?

1. You need to be prepared

Let's say you are an expert. You know your subject in and out. Does that mean you're prepared to speak on it?

Not necessarily

You need to prepare for each specific scenario

More than WHAT, you need to know HOW and WHY you're speaking

Consider the following questions to guide you:

-What is the context?
Is it a presentation, an interview or a sales call?

-Who is the audience?
Beginners, experts, a client?

-What is your goal?
To get a sale? To educate? Establish authority?

2. You need to be in the moment

If you try to judge what you just said, you'll get lost and start stumbling

If you try to think ahead too far, you'll finish your sentences with weak intonation

So what do you do?

You focus on the now

Then communicate idea by idea, without skipping ahead or looking back

Keep a slow pace and be deliberate

If you need to add something or clarify, do it after finishing each thought

And forget anything that is not part of the conversation

No thinking about your dinner or the girl you just met

If you're using Zoom or other meeting app, TURN OFF SELF-VIEW. You don't need to made even more self-aware

Your message > You

3. You need to be silent

One of the most essential skills in speaking is knowing when to shut up

I know, it seems counterintuitive

Here's the thing: you might need a moment to collect your thoughts. . . or to think of the next word. . .

And that's fine, but...

YOU MUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

You're afraid of awkward silences or pauses. I get it

But trust me: filler words or incoherent mumblings are a lot worse

The silence just seems too long because you're self-aware and in your head. So learn to think in silence before you speak

4. You need to let it go

Stumbled? Keep going. Ranted a bit? Keep going. Got sidetracked? Keep going

People who are listening to you are stuck in their own head too

Don't call attention to your blunder and they won't notice it

One caveat to that, though:

If you said something that is actually wrong, do correct yourself

But do it properly: own up to your mistake and explain the correction

"Let me rephrase that" can be a good solution

And even then. . . even if you do have to show a mistake. . .

You need to stop taking yourself so seriously

People know you're human. They connect more to you when you're authentic than when you're trying to be perfect

Being comfortable with minor blunders and owning up can even be an asset:

https://twitter.com/DevLinguistic/status/1458811069753925644

So to recap the steps to get out of your head:

1. Be prepared
2. Be in the moment
3. Enjoy the silence
4. Let it go

Use these steps, focus on providing value, and enjoy yourself

Remember, you're getting the privilege of sharing your knowledge or ideas with someone

Thank you for reading this thread

If you enjoyed it:

1. Retweet the first tweet in the thread
2. Follow me @DevLinguistic for more advice on speaking and communication

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