"Court Jester, why have you been needling Dum-Dum for the past two years? She really doesn't seem worth it."

Oh, agreed. Utter waste of carbon, that one. But here's the thing; like a wattled Forrest Gump, this lavishly stupid grifter has been everywhere.

Heffa knows shit.
More accurately, she may not even completely know what she knows - stupidity is quite the force field - but she's been on the grifter train for years, she's extremely stupid and she's a rank opportunistic coward when faced with actual consequences.
Court Jester is sometimes blessed with the ability to see where the branch breaks; this heffa is gonna take a whole fuckton of people down because she and her daughter L'il Dum-Dum were too stupid to see when the grifting-time had ended and the running-time began.
@KylieJaneKremer, you and your mother are going to serve real time in prison, even after the bitch-squealing.

She'll probably trade you to her cellie for a bottle of peroxide to bleach her nasty-ass hair.

Hope you like your new wife.

Pour that on your waffles.

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More from @quinncy

18 Nov
A small story:

I climbed my usual hill and I listened to a woman talk about dying.

"And this is different than every other day h-"

I didn't say crime.

I said dying.

Specifically, things which are likely to happen before a human dies; thank you, hospice nurse.
If you haven't watched it yet, do so; it's pretty interesting. I would also respectfully suggest it goes very well with a miserably steep climb, where you start looking around for the departed loved ones because there's no way you're living through this.

scoop.upworthy.com/hospice-nurse-…
Shockingly, I lived. I got back home and continued my project of the day.

For the last few weeks, my email has been tetchy. Consort has been doing battle with it and - fingers crossed - they have reached detente but in the process it has been determined I have 12,000 emails.
Read 21 tweets
16 Nov
A small story:

A few weeks back I doled out Modest Blessings on here to those Californians who voted against the recall.

"How could you know for certain, Quinn?"

For one, I like to tell myself people who follow me and people who think Larry Elder can govern have no overlap.
For another, while I did have to take it on faith they didn't vote to make everything worse, it became apparent fairly quickly that my subconscious was tapping into something and that something was, and I'm quoting feedback here, "Witchy-accurate."
By the second day of doling out blessings, I was getting comments like, "The light on my dashboard DID, in fact, turn out to be a cheap fix!" or "When I went for a walk today a small friendly cat DID walk and chat with me!"

Lie to that kind of power at your own peril.
Read 17 tweets
15 Nov
"What are you afraid of?"

I squinted at this question on an application. God, I hate this sort of thing, this "Let's get to know the real you" faux-chumminess. Either I'm qualified for something or I'm not.

I'm probably not.

The real me isn't going to change that.
And yet, here we are and here that question is and I frowned. Most of what scares me is, well, most of what's around me and I'm not sure how that makes me seem relatable. Reflexively I glanced around the room, as I always do when searching for writing inspiration and-
"Hello," I said, but softly, so as to not annoy it. I turned back to the keyboard and typed, "I am frightened of our new dining-room chairs; this is a very reasonable thing to fear."

When it comes to design, Consort is fussy and I am indifferent.
Read 23 tweets
8 Nov
A small story:

Consort is sentimental and nostalgic.

I am not.

In fact, if pressed, I would describe myself as "Whatever the furthest point is from nostalgia." I actually hate reminiscing. Until yesterday, I knew this without being able to explain why.
And then, I took a shower.
I have taken showers before.

Several, in fact.

And sometimes when I'm standing there, trying to atone to my body for the Sculpt class I have just taken, I realize something very profound, something obvious, something that it took conditioning my hair for me to see.
Read 12 tweets
6 Nov
@DoodleWrangler Did I ever tell you about the time I quietly avenged your father by ruining a drunk's night?
We knew a couple where Consort was longtime friends with the husband and I usually got stuck with the wife. She was and, I suspect, still is a therapist.

She was also nearly certainly an alcoholic.

Maybe she wasn't.
Maybe it's perfectly normal to not be able to stop after a single drink, maybe all the most abstemious drinkers turn into an utter jackass after downing a bottle pretty much on their own.

Maybe "weekday breakfast wine" is a thing.

Anyway, she was my responsibility.
Read 10 tweets
6 Nov
A small story:

After over a quarter century together, Consort and I know how to argue. In fact, I’m going to say we aren’t bad at it, abiding by the intimate partner version of Marquess of Queensbury rules which is to say, we sue Oscar Wilde.
(We do not sue Oscar Wilde)
We fight reasonably fairly, we rarely drag in any grudge over 120 days old - unless, of course, it shows a pattern of behavior or I feel like it- we even own the irrational stuff by beginning, “This isn’t rational but also, still mad.”
Read 14 tweets

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