Thread by @gtconway3dg

Sad to say all of this is true, and even crazier things happened in the years after.

Having an ambitious narcissist for a parent is exhausting. It's highs and lows with almost no periods of normalcy, and where the abuse from being gaslighted, guilted and bullied is constant. 🧵

https://twitter.com/gtconway3dg/status/1463004851718266880

When you have a family member who's ill like my mother is (histrionic personality disorder coupled with extreme narcissism), it's almost like living in a fog of confusion, because fairness, truth and integrity don't matter. They're masters at running a racket — it's all a facade.

It's embarrassing to say this, but it took a lot of years for me to recognize that the crazy things happening weren't just by coincidence. Thriving on chaos, seems a common trait of narcissists. That coupled with projection and refusing to accept responsibility.

Sound familiar?

It's my belief that in the mind of a narcissist, success isn't happiness, it's a metric of the willingness of people to believe them and is measured by the amount of attention and wealth afforded by those being conned.

People have always been drawn to my mother. She's gorgeous (was oftentimes mistaken for Cybil Shepard), confident (or at least presents as confident) and full of charisma. She makes it nearly impossible for outsiders to question her, because she seems to have it all together.

I'm not here to bash my mother, because I still am not convinced that she's even aware of how her words and actions affect the people around her.

But in the wake of eight marriages lies men who have all either passed away or are now incapable of having other relationships.

The name of Mary Trump's book says it perfectly - too much and never enough. Narcissists are never satisfied, and will drive everything and everyone into the ground in pursuit of the impossible. Just like Trump did. He never lets up.

For my whole life, his has been my reality.

I'll never forget when I saw this page in Woodward's RAGE, and felt like I had seen a ghost.

Speaks in third person, uses guilt trips, and will shift from sounding loving to this like the flipping of a switch, just because I didn't respond for two days (feeling unheard or ignored is an injury to their ego).

Hopefully this is helpful to someone, bc surely I'm not alone.

And, this is how I became a resister. After seeing and experiencing the chaos and destruction of pathological narcissist parent, I was horrified by the thought of Trump having access to the nuclear codes. I've spent the last five years on the edge of my seat, and unable to sleep.

If you have someone like this in your life, I'm sorry. I don't have the answers because I am still trying to navigate these waters. But what I can say is that regardless of what you've been told, you deserve love & happiness, and your worth isn't dependent on superficial garbage.

to everyone asking - i have blocked my mother and mostly avoid her, but still send gifts on holidays because she's my mom and i have no idea how to manage a relationship with her. my family mostly makes excuses for her behavior and enables her, so i'm distanced from them as well.