In the long cold morning outside the San Jose courthouse, I vended Elizabeth Holmes costumes out of a suitcase for anyone in the trial line. ImageA sign that says “black tur...
NYT’s @erinkwoo wrote about it in the live court update. I’m not a Holmes supporter and I’m making fun of the lookalike Holmies. I find Elizabeth’s persona fascinating though and wanted to watch the trial in person—and have fun in the long line.…
Today I learned: you can’t “sell merch” on federal property.
I had to stash my suitcase, but I still have a wig and turtleneck in my backpack. If you’re here, we can do a deal at the corner Starbucks during a break later.
Also, I’M IN THE COURTHOUSE. Today is the 3rd day Holmes herself is testifying with her defense attorney. Being in the physical room is v cool. Observing everyone’s mannerisms. Moments of quiet, then furious typing. Email attachments on tv screens with text too small to read.
It’s insane witnessing reporters of the Holmes trial work so hard to distill this in real time.
People are asking me what Holmes was like today. The testimony was spectacularly dull. I thought I'd see a raw, nervous person, considering the gravity of her potential sentence. But she's in character. At times, sounding like a TED Talk. I wonder if she'd be into the cosplay
Instead of making a healthcare startup, Holmes could have made friends and played DnD or something

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More from @djbaskin

20 Sep
Today we opened a Spirit Halloween at the vacant Google Headquarters.
We did a load-in this afternoon. Please pardon our appearance on Embarcadero as we unload bags of Halloween decor and costumes into the lobby.
We’re actually a little confused where our inventory should go and the zone manager Steve is away at lunch. 🎃
Read 5 tweets
14 Sep
I’m a poll inspector today and our first voter at 7:15am was a cat.
Welcome poll kitty!✨
A lot of people have pointed out the cat’s mustache. Don’t worry, if they come back later without the mustache we won’t let them vote twice.
Read 8 tweets
7 Sep
I’d like to go to a bar, but it’s just a person behind a counter with 12 types of powerful glues on tap. You’d bring in your broken items to fix and choose a glue: Super Glue, Barge liquid cement, E6000 fabric glue, epoxy resin, or hot glue. Drops are served through a nozzle.
You’d ask “What super glues do you have on tap?” and get a cyanoacrylate menu that looks like a list of craft beers.

Gorilla (Cincinnati, Ohio)
Elmers (Westerville, Ohio)
Loctite (Newington, Connecticut)
Krazy (Columbus, Ohio)
I accidentally destroyed my adhesives collection by leaving the bottles in direct sunlight. (They cure at hot temperatures.) And I need one tiny drop to fix my glasses today, but I don't want to rebuild my collection. I'd love to swing by the glue bar.
Read 4 tweets
20 Apr
Um, I found Greylock's office bathroom soap on Craigslist for $45
They should have said "gently used by amazing founders" and increased the price by 20% of the retail value…
I’m negotiating with Greylock to ask for a better price on the soap. Let’s see what they say.
Read 5 tweets
18 Apr
I love this mask bc I feel like I’m in an album cover, but people really tend to avoid me when I wear it. ImageImage
Maybe I need to be holding a ukulele to be more approachable?
If this freaks you out, you must have not had a lazy eye as a kid. This is what the world looks like for fleeting moments when you have amblyopia. (Double-vision is nostalgic for me and kinda cool!)
Read 4 tweets
23 Mar
6 years ago, while on jury duty at New York Supreme Court, I stealthily installed a room escape game that began with a sign in a bathroom stall outside the assembly room. I wonder if anyone solved it or if it's still there. (Probably a total of 0 people solved it, lol.) 🔍🏛 An official-looking sign in gold lettering that reads "A hallway of numbered chairs.
Since nobody will ever do this, here’s the walkthrough.

1. Notice sign is out of place.
2. Notice the symbol is an I Ching hexagram.
3. Notice hallway of numbered chairs outside bathroom.
4. The hexagram translates to 47. Under the cushion of chair #47, it says "Success!”
A twist: upon first translation of the hexagram you might think it's 64. But the O and X are changing lines.

Your I Ching fortune is 困 (kùn / Exhaustion) which is about seeking joy inside confinement. Like a tree in a cage. (You've solved my puzzle while stuck in jury duty!)
Read 5 tweets

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