THE HAM IS ON FIRE DEAR GOD NO NO NO THE HAM IS BURNING
My uncle-in-law is now adding beer in an attempt to quell the grease fire.
Strangely, and against all odds, the beer put the fire out. Our Canadian guest is ecstatic that she has now witnessed a Real American Thanksgiving.
I have begun drinking Cuervo Gold out of airplane bottles. It is not a good tequila, but also the ham was on fire.
WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO THINK OF A CHURCH THAT OFFERS TEQUILA AS COMMUNION
Thanksgiving bonding has progressed to the stage where @lasrina and I have drunkenly agreed that in the event of a disaster, we would eat each other last.
Hey @jason0x21, our Canadian Amazon friend posed with a Turkey leg because we said it would make you happy. 
WHEN DID MY IN-LAWS BUY A KAROKE MACHINE
My uncle-in-law, having torched the ham, is now crooning “Come On Baby, Light My Fire.”
My older stepson is trying to tell a story. This is not a skill he possesses. “So there’s this guy at work who was just not good. I’m gonna call him…
…dumbass.”
…dumbass.”
For anyone at home concerned, the ham survived with only minor charring and was delicious. We brought home many leftovers. My aunt-in-law tried to press more airplane bottles of Cuervo on me, but I forgot them in my dragon-like attempt to hoard the remains of the ham.
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