Thread by @StevenTDennis

FIRST up on a cheer-me-up #SaturdayNightZillow is my new favorite *EVER* fantasy Zillow listing.

Puerto Rico hilltop mansion almost has me in tears the setting is so beautiful. Enjoy!

THANK YOU to @ZackCz for finding this slice of paradise!

$14.5M
zillow.com/homedetails/1-…

YES. Pneumatic elevator! If your megamansion doesn't have one what are you even doing? I saw this and smiled ear to ear. And really, isn't that what we all need more of right now? #SaturdayNightZIllow

Romance. If I'm spending $14.5M, I want a tower 800 feet in the sky overlooking the ocean. #SaturdayNightZIllow

Oh, hello. They call this "New Construction" building a castle but the only really castle-y thing is this. I'll allow it. #SaturdayNightZillow

You can see here the two windmills, which with the solar panels provide 95% of the power for the property, per the listing. Like a lot of mansions in Puerto Rico I've seen today, people want to be capable of going off-grid for water and power. #SaturdayNightZIllow

Stats: *45 acres*
~10K sf
*Helicopter pad
*8K sf courtyard
*30,000 gallon cistern
*Guest house
#SaturdayNightZillow

Weird thing is the address is 1 Palatine Hills. And that kind of creeps me out because I keep seeing it as PALPATINE. #SaturdayNightZillow

Puerto Rico also has a LOT of affordable housing. Like this 5BR, 3BA place for, checks notes $115K! Even sports a bidet... Maybe we can buy it, split it 52 ways and each get a week here for life. #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/G-…

Thank you, Puerto Rico. I needed your crazy exuberant colors tonight. $7.2M #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/27…

I would read a 1,000-word Style-section story on this chair. #SaturdayNightZillow

A better investment might be this $975K, 6-apartment building with 12K sf walking distance to the beach with A+ view from the roof. We should buy it and convert to an AirBnB cash machine. #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/92…

Or how about this renovated apartment building for $1M?
20BR, 13BA! How so cheap? #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/Ca…

I fell in love with the facade of this 8 BR/10BA building until I read that it needs structural repairs from the earthquake. $875K. #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/91…

Interesting artwork. Nice house. $16M. #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/Do…

Would love to know the story behind this stuff. And that looks like a BFG staring out the window. #SaturdayNightZillow

Puerto Rico's most expensive property listing, by far, is a ~$35M compound festooned with solar panels — as you might expect. The outside looks a little industrial to my tastes but the inside does have its charms... #SaturdayNightZIllow zillow.com/homedetails/17…

Laundry room is fine if a bit on the boring side. No pies or anything like last night lol. #SaturdayNightZillow

Finally, at long last, someone perfects TV placement. Though, in a $35M house, shouldn't the TV be bigger? #SaturdayNightZillow

I'm a little confused by this. What the hell is it? A bathtub inside a bathtub? WEIRD. #SaturdayNightZillow

Of course there is a party shower. Because otherwise you'd have spent 35 MILLION DOLLARS and somebody would be, like, you didn't even get a party shower? #SaturdayNightZillow

Overall this mansion leaves me ice cold. You are in Puerto Rico, you should have COLOR. Exuberance! Life! Romance! And not just a laundry list of expensive imported luxury names you plastered all over the place. #SaturdayNightZillow

Ending tonight with an eye-candy couples retreat in the Virgin Islands. $1.9M.
Hope you enjoyed #SaturdayNightZillow! zillow.com/homedetails/Re…

Looks high enough to still be here in 100 years. And it has some nice views while still being near civilization.

https://twitter.com/1proudliberal/status/1464921006028505092?s=20