Thread by @penandkink

Service-oriented submission and the art of getting things done, a Twitter thread in 22 parts.

As practitioners of the perverse, we're all likely familiar with the term "service". It's something that submissive like to say they're into giving, but how is service defined, and what's so special about "service-oriented submission" that it warrants it's own Wikipedia page?

Allow me to share my perspective on service-oriented submission and what it means to me, as somebody in service to a Dominant (who may or may not have tasked me with writing this lengthy essay in the first place).

Before we begin, the person I serve will be referred to as "the Dominant" throughout this essay, since one of her standing protocols is that I do not refer to her using words that depict any sense of ownership over her.

So first off, what exactly is service? To me, service is any task or activity that I perform that benefits the Dominant I serve in some way, that I've agreed to perform once or on a regular, ongoing basis. If the Dominant does not want it, it is not service.

While doing what the Dominant says could be described as obedience, how I distinguish service-oriented submission from obedience is three-fold; negotiation, training, and attitude.

The first of these distinctions, negotiation, refers to the acknowledgment of both the Dominant I serve and myself, the submissive, of the service-oriented dynamic or play-scene. I feel service cannot be considered service unless both parties agree to define and facilitate it.

Another aspect of the negotiation process is learning about, and ultimately harnessing any particular talents for service that I may possess. For example, one particular skill I offer the Dominant is graphic design.

The second distinction, training, refers to the Dominant teaching me about her needs, wants, and desires, so that tasks can be performed in the exact manner she likes. This training is ongoing, and this knowledge grants me the confidence to serve at my best.

The last of these distinctions, attitude, refers to how I choose to behave as somebody in service to another, and how serving makes me feel. A bad attitude is corrosive to the submissive and the relationship, after all.

Attitude refers to the respect I show the Dominant by performing every task given to me without question or delay. It's the vigilance I demonstrate when I'm present and anticipating her next order, and listening proactively to her instructions so she'll never have to repeat them.

It's the willingness to accept criticism constructively, to remain humble when praised on the quality of my service, and to honestly report mistakes, failures and shortcomings.

How does serving make me feel? To serve another is pleasure in itself, it is the reward, and knowing I've done my best is the greatest joy. There is clarity in my role, a greater purpose. Being useful and positively contributing to the Dominant's life is what fuels my submission.

Like a submissive entering 'sub space' or 'bottom space', I feel like I'm entering a 'service space' when I can perform a task with confidence and enthusiasm. Service to me feels like an ongoing play scene, and one that can be executed in public.

An example of what we consider service occurs when we're out to dinner with our friends. She asks me to fetch her a drink, but I'm not simply doing what's asked of me. My service goes beyond that.

Depending on availability, I remember her first, second, and third choice of beverage (and always without ice), and I serve it to her quietly, so as not interrupt any conversation she's currently having with somebody else.

No matter what vessel the drink is served in, I must do everything I can to ensure there are no more additional steps left before she drinks it, which may include turning the handle to face her, for example. Attention to detail is vital in my service to the Dominant.

Another example happens over long-distance when she contacts me over messenger. She requires a custom-designed wax seal, specifically of her symbol that I'd once proudly designed for her. "Make it happen" she tells me, and I am honoured by the task she's bestowed upon me.

I absorb everything I can about the market, and the best techniques hobbyists use to melt and pour wax. I remember her favourite colour for the wax sticks, and I present to her my research. In a short amount of time, I became a savant for the sole purpose of serving her.

When the task is completed, I'm left with warm, fuzzy feelings. The Dominant is satisfied, and her satisfaction is the benchmark in which I measure the quality of my service. She might even praise me, or she'll dismiss me, pending her preference. Both feel like a win to me.

These tasks may not sound overly difficult, and to somebody who isn't service-oriented they might even seem mundane, but I feel a deep connection to every task I'm given, and every completed task is an opportunity to express the devotion I feel for the Dominant I serve.

Every task, especially repeated tasks, has become ritualised with negotiation, training, and the right attitude. The Dominant has invested time and energy into teaching me the steps. I memorise them, and practice them as often as I can, until I can execute the service flawlessly.

Service is more than simply doing what the Dominant says. It's the language I use to express the love for the Dominant I serve. There is no greater expression of my submission than to invest literal years into practicing my service, to have a PhD in making the Dominant happy.