Thread by @iAPresenter

You told us that finding the story/narrative that ties your deck/presentation together was a major pain. So let's learn from the experts: Annette @TheStoryFactor shares the 6 kinds of story at the heart of all communication...

Story 1: Who I Am.
What qualities earn you the right to influence this person? Tell them about a time/place/event that provides evidence that you have these qualities. Reveal who you are, as a person. Get personal. People need to know who you are before they can trust you...

How: Ask yourself: Who are you? What makes you special? What earns you the right to influence? Everyone has gifts. What are yours? Are you compassionate, reliable, honest, and diplomatic (not usually the same person)?..

When: Use them at the beginning of any presentation. Strangers are wary by nature but co-workers/clients/peers also may secretly believe a story about you that is not very flattering...

Anytime you suspect someone has secret suspicions about your motivations or agenda, set them straight early with a “who I am” story. This allows them to come to their own conclusion: “Hey, this is a good person. I’ll listen.”

Story 2: Why I'm Here.
If you wish to influence, you are asking for a person’s time, money, or resources. We were taught to answer ”What’s in it for me?” first, but people don’t really relax and listen until they are satisfied that they know what’s in it for You...

If your audience is running a story that you want their cooperation only to meet your needs, they immediately discredit your “facts” as biased. Keep it short, but explain the big picture about why you are investing your time with them on this matter...

How: Finding a story can be hard, the rush of daily life makes us forget. So, carve out enough time to relax a minute and look out a window. Think about the last time someone pulled you aside to say “thank you.” Think about why you went the extra mile and that is a story...

When did you choose this career, what was going on, and why did you choose it? That is a story. List some of the reasons you do what you do. Tell this person what you get out of it besides money, or if it is just about the money, own it and show how they benefit as well...

When: Use a “why I am here” story in a presentation or a conversation when you are asking for something big. Be transparent because if you tell a “why I’m here” story that isn’t true, it probably will do more damage than good...

It may be tempting to tell a story of motivations you aspire to, but dig deeper and you will find genuine motivations that better connect with all the other imperfect people in the room...

People abhor “users.” In social psychology experiments, a freeloader (someone getting more than their “fair share”) is so unpopular a group will go to extra expense to place penalties on them...

Fair means different things to different people and without a “Why I am here” story you never know who might think you are just in it for yourself...

Whenever you enter a culture of “have nots,” and you are one of the “haves” you will need to tell several “why I am here” stories. This earns you the chance to prove your stories are true by your actions.

Story 3: Vision Stories. (by @TheStoryFactor)
An exciting future story reframes present difficulties as “worth it.” Big projects and new challenges can be difficult and frustrating particularly for people who weren’t in on the decision-making process...

With an engaging vision huge obstacles shrink to small irritants on the path to a worthwhile goal. But be careful, vision stories that promise more than they deliver do more damage than good...

How: A lot of people mess up vision stories by using numbers and dates. Numbers and dates are the language of goals and objectives. A vision story is metaphorical. It is very specific and uses sensory detail in order to be universal in emotional appeal...

Martin Luther King’s paraphrase of Amos 5:24 "…and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." Now THAT is a vision. Emotions come from sensory detail, not numbers or dates...

Every problem under the sun has been faced before by someone else who prevailed against the odds. Profile a biography, company, political movement, movie, great sporting challenge or historical event and relate it to the challenge your audience faces...

When: When talking to any group with low morale or facing a daunting challenge. Beginning a start-up requires a powerful vision story. The vision can be woven into daily life with reminders: nicknames, jargon, regular events, and annual events.

Story 4: Values in Action Stories (by
@TheStoryFactor)
Values are subjective. Integrity may mean doing what your boss tells you to do, or saying no even if it costs your job. This is why the only way to communicate a value is by example (best), or with a story (2nd best)...

The word “integrity” is abstract and tossed around so much people pretend they have communicated. Nothing is communicated if no one knows what you mean when you say “integrity.”..

If you want to encourage or teach a value a story provides a “demonstration” by showing in the theatre of your listener’s mind what that value means, behaviorally...

How: These stories can feel forced–but the payoff is worth the effort. It has become a status symbol to be cynical so by all means don’t damage your cool reputation, but pretend no one is looking and think about the core values that drive your decision making...

It takes discipline to consciously tell stories that build values like trust, loyalty, generosity, and excellence into our lives. It also requires a support system...

You need someone to listen to your stories of disappointment so you can process those feelings and move past them. Emotions buried alive don’t die; they just hijack your communication the next time you run across a good listener or a captive audience...

When: We are designed to give extra attention to cautionary stories of broken promises, exploitation, and betrayal so we can stay safe and avoid repeating the same mistakes...

Unfortunately with so little time to think these days, warning stories usurp positive value-in-action stories. If you want to build certain values in your organizations you need to make time for intentionally positive value-in-action stories...

Otherwise the war stories win and the people around you lean towards feeling cynical, sarcastic and apathetic...

If your organization has core values, you need a story for each value to roll out at every opportunity you find. Benjamin Franklin worked on one virtue each week, while grading himself on all thirteen.

Story 5: Teaching Stories.
Certain lessons are best learned from experience but much of the time you can’t manufacture an experience for someone. When the experience of failure is too expensive or disastrous to endure a story can simulate the experience...

Other lessons, like patience are rarely learned once and for all. We have to learn these lessons again and again on a regular basis. And posters on the wall don’t cut it. Better to tell a story of patience in a pace and with timing that demonstrates its rewards...

Chances are a story will work better than advice. Discipline, humility, respect, these skills need role models and stories to help learners develop the habits you seek...

How: At its best, a “teaching story” transports your listener into an experience that lets him or her see, smell, taste, touch, hear, and feel a real situation in all its ambiguity, time pressures and real life issues...

It imprints into the listeners mind a “never do this” or “this is how it is done” memory that can equal a true experience. A teaching story is a no-risk demonstration–a trial run by imagination...

When: Timing is important with teaching stories. By definition, teaching methods should create good performance and avoid things like hurt feelings, conflicts, wasted time or outright disasters. A good time to tell a teaching story is before anything has gone wrong.

Story 6: I Know What You're Thinking Stories.
People like to stay safe. Many times they have already made up their mind, with specific objections to the ideas you bring...

They don't stop you before your presentation and tell you, “We talked about this at dinner last night and we don’t like it,” but they might be thinking it. It doesn’t matter that they made their decision on a distorted version of the facts...

They may just like the idea that today’s meeting will be short and they get to go home early because everyone has already dismissed your idea...

It is a trust-building surprise for you to give voice to their secret suspicions in a story that first validates and then dispels these objections without sounding defensive...

It gets their attention that you know more than they thought you did and earns you the benefit of the doubt that you may know other things they don’t know...

How: Humans hunger for validation. The first rule of an “I Know What You Are Thinking” story is that you frame their objective as completely rational and understandable. It doesn’t cost you a thing...

Most of the time, it doesn’t even require research. In most circumstances you already know what “secret” objections your listeners’ hold against your point of view...

First you validate and then you contrast the objection by reframing it. It might help to pretend to be group you seek to influence and complete the sentence on their behalf “What I hate about this is….” That should show you the objections you need to overcome...

When: It is much easier to overcome an objection before it hardens into a position. An “I Know What You Are Thinking” story overcomes objections when they are still soft, merely a “sneaking suspicion.”...

You don’t have to read minds. Unspoken objections are easy to anticipate, particularly if you research your audience’s point of view. The minute you smell the strong odor of an objection, you may want to use an “I Know What You Are Thinking” story.