Thread by @KatieDeSousa

i just started taking medication for ADHD today after discussing it with my doc and a specialist and holy shit is this what peoples brains work like? what the fuck??

everything is so clear? like i started wearing glasses but inside my brain? the fuck??? lmao WHAT

are you kidding me? this is what brains should be like? lmao no wonder people can get so much shit done jesus

i'm just going to maybe keep tweeting about my initial discoveries because it's helped me so much in the past to see other people talking about neurodivergence.

i just attended a work meeting, the difference for me was:
1. i could reliably remember what people were saying and where conversations started, and what has already been said without notes, like my brain could just store more info? very cool

2. I was still fighting distraction - and occasionally losing, BUT when I got distracted I KNEW it was happening, and I remembered I was supposed to be doing something else and exactly what it was!

This last one is a big deal to me because I've always wanted to get better at re-focusing, but if I don't realize I'm currently being distracted I can't practice refocusing!!

so i'm pretty excited about that, it's going to take some work on my end to come up with methods to train my new attention - my old methods were just "put the stuff i need to do in plain sight and hope to god i auto-pilot on them when i see them"

my brain is just as fast and just as excitable - i feel happier? the noise was so frustrating before, i didn't realize how much it sort of weighed me down? maybe? i wonder if this effect will stick around?

its lunch and the thought of eating is very gross, so that's maybe a downside. my extremities are cold and my mouth is dry, but i feel like these issues are like... non-issues, for me anyway, endometriosis has definitely given me a much broader view of "acceptable discomforts"

This is blowing up more than expected - if you think you have symptoms of ADHD please talk to your doctor about what you are struggling with, it is so different for everyone! For Canadians, try checking out CADDAC caddac.ca

observation: i consider myself an introvert because i'm emotionally drained after social interaction, and have always found it very stressful, but today i had a day of meetings and i was NOT emotionally drained at the end of them. i just feel fine?

By introvert i think i should clarify that i'm an absolute recluse, maybe not being so drained will help me connect with people more, who knows?

for a practical test of my working memory i was curious about whether or not my digit span was improved - i could only get to around 4 or 5 before, and in one attempt today i got double that tools.timodenk.com/digit-span-test

very hyped to join you normies in the world of "being able to do mental math"

re: math
a fun anecdote on a more recent realization on how much ADHD had been impacting my perception of myself - I had firmly believed for a very long time that I was just bad at math! mostly on account of failing math classes repeatedly, surely this is not my strength, right?

but about a year ago i started noodling in the UE4 material editor, and blender nodes, and following tutorials, and it's all just math. it was so fun! conceptually i understood so much of what i struggled with in highschool - but i got to see it in a different way

the nodes are just there in front of me, and i don't have to hold those numbers and functions in my brain, i just have to hook them up! it was really empowering! but more importantly, this helped me hone in on what my actual trouble was: working memory!

Here is a fantastic video on how to understand & treat ADHD based on science

Day 2~ sharing a few more observations and assumptions! first up is perception of time, which is interesting because we have names for the lack of other senses; blindness, deafness, even vertigo for lack of equilibrium/balance, but i think it's just "time blindness" for this one

it's not really revolutionary, but it's still noticeably, easier to know how much time is left until my next scheduled thing - like i have a more granular sense. when my husband got glasses for the first time he exclaimed "wow i can see so many details" it's a little like that?

All the things i'm talking about fit into that "not revolutionary, but noticeable!" category, my excitement might come off as if i'm feeling superhuman, but it's really just gratitude for something very basic and normal.

When I got an asthma inhaler to help me breath better the difference it made for me was so huge, but it didn't give me super powers, it's just breathing. The most basic human thing, but if you don't have that to begin with it's really life changing.

sharing this experience in a public space has certainly been an exercise in vulnerability - for the most part people have been kind/curious, and i don't mind answering most questions, but again the best person to talk to is a doctor who you feel comfortable with!

it has helped me tremendously for other people to share their experiences, especially other women, because the stereotypes and stigma i was raised with were super wrong❤️

Something else worth mentioning: Therapy! A good therapist can help you understand what things you can change via CBT, meditation, etc. and what you can't. Then, if desired, you can take that information to talk to your doctor if there is something better solved via medication.

More stream of consciousness: I have felt no changes in motivation thus far. Didn't want to clean my kitchen before medication, and frankly, I still don't. I cleaned it this morning anyway, because even though I didn't want to, the idea wasn't overwhelming, just mildly annoying.

Silly observation: Yesterday my arms and back started cramping because I wasn't fidgeting - normally I can't sit still so I get up, switch positions, etc. all day long. Because I didn't do that I accidentally cramped up. I'll have to set an activity timer or something now😅

well in positive news my appetite seems fine today, i decided to avoid coffee (used to drink a *lot* to get through the day) and went with tea instead. i love food so it'd be hard to deal with not wanting to eat, glad that resolved itself so quickly! maybe no more coffee for me~

ok rounding out day two, it was pleasant and quiet, usually i would have this constant low buzz of restlessness, but it's gone. made it easier to do quieter things that would have been too boring before; like sitting down with a cup of tea without anything else to distract me.

Anyway, I'll just end the thread here as it's getting long. Feel free to share your own experiences & help reduce the stigma of talking about mental health, but don't try to diagnose ppl over the internet - you have neither the qualifications nor the context to do so! :D