Thread by @CultExpert

The antidote to helping friends and loved ones OUT of extreme belief feels counterintuitive to most.

When we hear a hateful extreme belief expressed, the NATURAL reaction is to respond with anger and condemnation!

But unfortunately, this approach just doesn't work.

When we throw our anger at someone, though it may feel justified and warranted, it drives that person FURTHER into their extreme belief.

Here's one quick story from my life...

When I was in the Moonie cult, we were ordered to SELL items for the cult (flowers, candy, etc.).

Often while doing this, people would yell things at me (sometimes they'd even throw beer cans at me). When this happened, it drove me DEEPER into the cult. After all, the cult taught us that we were the persecuted ones & these outbursts of anger toward us VALIDATED this!

But...

When people were kind, it completely interrupted this pattern. When you're taught that the outside world is unkind, and someone from the outside world is caring and sweet, it's disorienting (in a good way!).

One time, while I was selling items, a man bought me a cold drink.

It was a blazing hot day and I was parched. This man was so sweet and kind. He never judged or told me I was brainwashed. We started talking, and he asked me when the last time I talked to my mom was. As a cult member cut off from his family, I didn't know...it had been a while.

He smiled and said, "Let's call her." I had absolutely no money of my own, so he gave me a dime, walked with me over to the phone booth and I called my mom. :)

This wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back for me (my deprogramming came a little later), but it could've...

It was a beautiful loving gesture, free from judgment that reconnected me to my authentic self.

Just think about this next time you're fighting with someone online...or even with someone you know.

I understand the paradox. Am I saying we should tolerate intolerance!?

No.

I'm simply saying that our conventional political responses when dealing with someone HEAVILY indoctrinated, will likely backfire. If you truly DO want to help them out of this spell, you need to be resourceful. You need to employ psychology. You need to do what works.

It's of course up to you. If it is simply too painful to interact with strangers or family like this, that is of course your choice. 🙏

But if you want to know "How do we get out of this place as a society!?"

It's this 👆. This is how we do it.

Thanks for reading. :)