"OK Gloria, this is an international spy novel so try and look suspenseful. And provocative. And continental. Maybe with a hint of frisson. Just keep it classy."
"OK Deborah, this is a really tense scene in the novel so try and look imperiled. And intriguing. And beguiling. Maybe with a hint of chagrin. Now light me."
"OK Agatha, you're an international hitwoman so try and look dangerous. And possibly Spanish. And equestrian. Give me Spanish horses in your eyes. Be a danger jockey, but a bit teasing. Maybe undo a button."
"OK Penelope we're going for medieval on this one, but sexy. Sexy medieval. Champagne and Charlemagne. The Wife of Bath on a hen night. Give me Joan of Arc, but with a kinky whip."
"OK Amanda, I want stern but sexy. And petrochemical. Sexy inorganic petrochemical. And cleavage. Massive pipelines and big plungers, but classy."
"OK Jill, think Cairo. Pyramids. Sexy pyramids. Amenhotep in expensive perfume. Cleopatra on a promise. Be a Sphinx in Spanx. Maybe with some pouting."
"OK Pamela, I want seduction. And intrigue. And the deep sea fishing industry. Think cod, but sexy. Sexy, intriguing cod. Literally give me fishnets. But with cleavage."
"OK Fiona, this one's in Berlin. I want sexy, but Teutonic. Classy. Think Europe. A braless Brandenburg Gate of beguiling. Menace that map."
"OK Daphne I want British, but sexy. Sophisticated. Maybe with cleavage. And mystery. Mysterious cleavage. Mary Poppins in a string bikini. With a gun. Sexy fish and chips. But classy."
"OK Emily, you're a cobra. A sexy, dangerous cobra. On a plane. You're a snake on a plane. With long legs. Maybe a pout. Give me pouty snakey danger. Hiss a little if it helps."
"Look Claudia, we don't have any budget. Just do your best. Sexy, but with documents. Put your hood up if you're cold. And scene..."
• • •
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Today I'm looking at a few books from New York publishing house Grosset & Dunlap...
London After Midnight, by Marie Coolidge-Rask. Grosset & Dunlap, 1928.
This is a movie tie-in version, although the last known copy of the film was destroyed in 1965 at a fire at MGM's vaults. It's one of the most sought-after lost silent films now.
A Thousand Years A Minute, by Carl H Claudy. Grosset and Dunlap, 1939. Cover by A C Valentine.
Part of the Adventures in the Unknown series, this is a time travel novel sending its heroes back to the prehistoric world.
One of the best #Christmas presents you could ever get was a View-Master! It sold over one billion reels across the world, but it's based on Victorian technology. How did one simple gadget get to be so popular?
Let's take a look at the toy that took over the planet...
Stereographs are cards with two nearly identical photographs mounted side by side. Viewed through a binocular device they give an illusion of depth. By 1858 the London Stereoscopic and Photographic Company had published over 100,000 of them.
Sawyer's Photo Finishing Service began in 1919 in Portland, Oregon. By 1936 they had teamed up with William Gruber, who had been experimenting with stereoscope photography using the new Kodachrome colour film.
Today in pulp I look back at a few forgotten '80s sci-fi movies and ask: is it time to reappraise them?
Spoilers: not all of these are available on Betamax...
There were a huge number of mid and low budget sci-fi movies released throughout the '80s, many of which went straight to video. Today they lurk in the far corners of your streaming service.
Should you watch them? Well let me take you through a few you might be tempted by.
Battle Beyond The Stars (1980) was Roger Corman's retelling of Kurosawa's Seven Samurai in space. James Cameron did an impressive job on the SFX with a small budget and the film certainly has a distinctive look.
"A dream to some. A nightmare to others!" As it's Christmas let's look back at a film that I think helped redefine an old genre, captivated the imagination and launched many successful acting careers.
Let's look at John Boorman's Excalibur!
For a long time the film industry found the King Arthur story amusing. Camelot (1967) was a musical comedy; Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) was pure comedy.
But director John Boorman had been thinking seriously about the Arthurian legend since 1969, particularly Sir Thomas Malory's 1469 telling of the story 'Le Morte d’Arthur'. The mythic theme greatly appealed to him.
Today in pulp I'm looking back at some Michael Moorcock books, and having a think about the New Wave of science fiction that started in the 1960s...
In Britain the New Wave is often associated with New Worlds magazine, which Moorcock edited from 1964 to 1970. Financial troubles caused the magazine to close in 1970, but it made sporadic comebacks over the subsequent years.
However he started as editor of Tarzan Adventures in 1957, where he introduced Sojan the Swordsman - perhaps his first stab at creating an 'eternal champion' character
Today in pulp I'm looking back at one of the greatest albums of all time.
What are the chances...
By 1976 Jeff Wayne was already a successful composer and musician, as well as a producer for David Essex. His next plan was to compose a concept album.
War Of The Worlds was already a well known story, notorious due to the Orson Wells radio play production. For Wayne it seemed like a great choice for a rock opera.