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24 Dec, 5 tweets, 2 min read
I think sex work changed my relationship to my appearance without me noticing: a thread
Pre sex work, I cared very little about my appearance. My mom picked out all my clothes to buy till I was 16 or so; I wore minimal/rare makeup, looking hot wasnt something i thought much of 1/
I started sex work when I was 20; over the years, caring about my appearance became really important for work. I put a *huge* amount of effort into it, cause it was absolutely crucial for my income levels.
This entire time, I viewed the care as "sex work specific"
As in; I figured "being hot" was an overlay onto my natural, not-caring-about-appearance default, and independent of sex work I wouldn't care much anymore. I think this started out true! But nearly a decade in and I think it's fused with me.
I don't know when it happened, it was slow, but somewhere along the way it wasn't just sex-worker-aella-care, it was actual aella care. I'm a little surprised by it. I do think this was caused by sex work, as in if I had never done it I think I'd be less appearance-oriented now.
But here I am, someone who puts a lot of attention into her appearance, and... it's really weird to realize that this is me now, not the overlay I'd passively assumed it was for years.
I don't mind it! It's got pros and cons and ultimately balances out to 'neutral' for me

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More from @Aella_Girl

Aella Profile picture
23 Dec
a *sigh* woo clarification thread
1. not all woo is created equal; i think some forms of it are still wrong but not very predictive of curiosity/iq
2. i think its possible to approach woo practices with a framework thats compatible with science, i.e. narrative/placebo/ritual work
to elaborate:
just cause a belief is wrong doesn't make it predictive of the person being incurious. If you lived in a hindu culture, "do you believe in hinduism" wouldnt help much differentiating the smart from the dumb people. It depends on how accessible 'right' info is.
This is why I don't believe thinking 9/11 is an inside job is super predictive of curiosity/iq; it's basically plausible (governments doing practical things in secret), and further determination relies on a bunch of confusing details about material sciences or whatever
Read 7 tweets
Aella Profile picture
23 Dec
Ppl who are real into astrology/conspiracies/woo beliefs *really* trigger me, but it's not because of the beliefs themselves, it's what it indicates about the person.
To me, it implies a profound lack of curiosity in checking to see if their beliefs are true. 1/
They're drawn to woo beliefs because it feels good or serves some meaning purpose for them - which I get, I mean I was raised in religion - but there's a total absence of interest in tests to check other theories for why they might be experiencing this thing 2/
I don't get this! How could you not be curious about other theories, when you *know* other people in the world deeply believe stuff that is clearly wrong? It *must* feel convincing to them, so "feeling convincing" to you shouldn't be sufficient criteria. 3/
Read 6 tweets
Aella Profile picture
5 Dec
When you hurt someone you don't like, you lean away from the pain - distance yourself, say they deserve it, you don't feel a bit of what you've caused.
But when you hurt someone you like, you also lean away from the pain - you try to fix it, reassure, apologize, make it stop.
1/
What happens if we don't lean away from the pain? What if we lean *in*? What if it's okay to hurt someone? Of course this does *not* mean distance. To accidentally hurt someone and not lean away is the hardest of all; it means staying with their pain, and yours for causing it 2/
It means you're not trying to fix or brush away. You're here saying "I accept that I hurt you, it's okay that I hurt you", as the pain you caused them shoots back through your bond with them to burn you as well; and you hold that bond, don't flinch, don't let go. 3/
Read 4 tweets
Aella Profile picture
23 Nov
I usually try not to call people idiots, but people have *somehow* managed to interpret this tweet as though I support pedophilia?? Where the hell is the reading comprehension?
And this question (and others like it) is really important, because this *has happened before*. 1/
There actually *is* a tribe where the pedophilia thing is normal: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sambia_pe…
And this is great fodder for a billion questions around morality, trauma, how influenced we are by cultural norms, etc. I can't believe people know about this and just shrug it off! 2/
And it's not just that tribe - culture across the world and history has been chock full of behaviors that we today find abhorrent, but at the time were not perceived as harmful. The implications of this... this is like one of the *most* important things to think about. 3/
Read 5 tweets
Aella Profile picture
22 Nov
Eugenics Poll Thread: what do you consider to be eugenics, and do you support it? If possible, please vote for the 'eugenics' part only; if you disagree with other parts of the scenario (like if you object to government funding on principle) please ignore that

POLL 1:
A country provides free screening for down syndrome, counselling that recommends abortion for down syndrome fetuses, and funding for those abortions. This is:
A country offers $5000 to any woman who reproduces, if she scores in the top 10% of a set of (carefully designed, reliable) tests meant to judge general intelligence. This is:
Read 18 tweets
Aella Profile picture
21 Nov
As professional horny-man bait, I've found the best type of messaging to generate clicks is stuff that revolves around removing expectation of action from men. If the man is going about normal actions in normal life and then sex stumbles into him, this is ideal. Examples: 1/
Anything where the man finds himself in a scenario where sex 'has' to happen and 'convincing the girl' is done by an external force - last two people on earth, a girl assigned to his bunk for the breeding program, getting revenge on her boyfriend by banging the man, etc. 2/
Anything where the girl is extremely aroused and must use the guy for her own pleasure; it's not really 'about him', he's sort of a happy casualty of the woman's enormous sex drive. Talking about stuff like "masturbating cause you can't find anyone right now" is great for this 3/
Read 4 tweets

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