Thread by @thetimes

For those who have been bereaved, Christmas is a time when the sense of loss is intensified

So what is the best way to get through it?

Bereavement expert Julia Samuel shares her advice:

thetimes.co.uk/article/how-to…

1⃣ Acknowledge your loss, don’t gloss over it

If your family has recently suffered a bereavement, try to make plans for how you’re going to remember the person who has died at Christmas. Don’t just say nothing and hope for the best

2⃣ Don’t feel it has to be a ‘normal’ Christmas

If your loss is raw, it’s very difficult to have your usual Christmas.

Changing location can be wise, if possible. “Place is very powerful in our memories. Going to a different place, you’re not confronted with so many emotions"

3⃣ Respect the fact that other people may deal with grief differently from you

“We may shut down, explode, pretend nothing has happened. You can’t force someone to talk. You just have to respect their differences”

4⃣ Don’t feel guilty for enjoying yourself

“Over time we have to develop ways that both allow us to grieve and allow us to be OK, and it’s the movement between the two that enables us to grieve adaptively and effectively"

5⃣ Don’t cut yourself off

If you don’t want to be alone and no one is reaching out to you, ask for help, Samuel says.

“Dare to overcome your pride or anger that no one’s offering. Have FaceTime calls, Zoom calls, connect with people in any way you can"

6⃣ Sometimes actions do speak louder than words

Not everyone who is grieving wants to talk about it. But, as Samuel says, “it doesn’t mean that the pain is less”

Acts of kindness can be as good as words of kindness

7⃣ Create new rituals

Some traditions around Christmas may be too painful to continue. “They intensify that the person we loved is not there.”

You can create new ones, symbolic and personal to you all

Read the full article here: thetimes.co.uk/article/how-to…