Thread by @bopinion

First comes love and then comes ... a frank discussion about the realities of moving in together.

🏠 In a hot housing market, what happens when you’re ready to live together, but one (or both) of you already owns a home? trib.al/bX1CnCt

It’s natural for a homeowner to want their partner to move in. But is it fair for that partner? And is it healthy to have a landlord-tenant dynamic in your romantic relationship?

The short answer: No, it’s not fair, and that dynamic can be risky trib.al/bgufckI

After all, the “rent” being paid by the partner is ultimately subsidizing someone else’s mortgage with no equity being earned, no protections of a lease and the threat of eviction ever-present should things not work out trib.al/bgufckI

In 2019, 12% of millennials were living with an unmarried partner compared to 8% of Gen Xers at the same age bracket in 2003.

It’s important to have a conversation about the risks and sign a few legally binding documents to ensure both parties feel safe trib.al/bgufckI

The fundamental challenge in moving into a partner’s owned home is the power imbalance it creates.

The home isn’t “ours,” it’s “theirs.”

This means your partner can make unilateral decisions about the house and your living situation trib.al/bgufckI

The key questions you need to think about are:

⚫ What rights does each party have to the home?
⚫ What about in the event of a break up?
⚫ How much “rent” does the non-owner pay?
⚫ How will utilities, furnishings and upgrades be handled? trib.al/bgufckI

The renting partner isn’t likely to have the same rights as a tenant simply by moving in, unless they sign a lease.

Cohabitation and renting are not usually seen as the same thing in the eyes of the courts. It’s important to know your city and state laws trib.al/bgufckI

What happens if you break up needs to be a serious consideration before you agree to move in.

How long would you have to move out and find a new place should things go south?

This issue could be laid to rest by a written cohabitation property agreement trib.al/bgufckI

Also consider the finances of paying rent to your partner. Have a conversation about what feels fair in the context of your relationship.

The rent should certainly not be higher than what the non-owning partner is currently paying trib.al/bgufckI

Unless you directly caused damage, it should be on the partner who owns to handle any home upgrades or repairs.

A renter wouldn’t have to pay for a new roof, to fix the water heater or to upgrade the dishwasher. That’s the landlord's responsibility trib.al/bgufckI