Hey, listen. If you use your account to harass someone, mock them, or be bigoted towards them, don't act like a victim if they call you out on it. Trying to accuse anyone, even a large account, of "encouraging a pile-on" when you were intentionally cruel is not going to fly.
1/
I have people say AWFUL things to me, things they would never say to someone in person, and then they play victim if I draw any attention to what they said, as if *I* did something wrong.
That doesn't work with me. Don't cross my very reasonable boundaries and you're good.
2/
In short, just don't be a terrible person on the internet. It's that simple. And if you decide to be terrible, then sometimes you'll have to deal with the consequences of your actions, including someone refusing to put up with your behaviour.
3/
I largely ignore outright bullying and hate (I get way too much of it to address it all), but I occasionally take it on because I think it's important to demonstrate that this behaviour won't be tolerated. The internet should be unwelcoming to those who seek only to harm.
4/
If you've been the victim of online abuse, I'm sorry. I really am. It can feel absolutely terrible, especially if you're in a vulnerable place. Just remember that their hate is coming from them and is not really about you. Drop me a line if you ever need a reminder of that.
5/5
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
A sincere thanks to everyone who's shared this rebuttal today of what is an unnecessary and unsubstantiated op-ed.
It took me 2 hours to calm down after reading the original piece, 2 more hours to write a thorough response with receipts. I'm grateful to see it making the rounds.
Little gets under my skin more than seeing trans kids attacked. And yes, in some very important ways, this is an attack on their safety - one that was written with a great deal of speculation and few facts. We can't let these things slide, no matter who writes them.
I hear from young trans people regularly who have left home prematurely because they're not safe there. Some are living on the streets, some in other unsafe conditions, and all because their parents refuse to accept who they are and would rather abuse them than affirm them.
One day I'm going to do a whole thread on seemingly innocuous statements that are actually indicative of transphobia. I just blocked someone with "Sex not gender" in her bio. That's a red flag. And sure enough her feed was full of transphobic people and words. Surprise!
The rest of her bio was really quite nice, including statements like "love not hate". But when a person takes the time to add something that completely negates the experience of trans individuals in their bio alongside it, like "sex not gender", that speaks volumes.
The thing is, transphobia at that level - purposeful, deliberate, bold anti-trans statements - is a form of hate. It doesn't matter how nice or respectful you are otherwise. There are a lot of "nice" racists and homophobes too. It doesn't mean they're not hateful.
THREAD in response to the San Francisco Examiner’s opinion piece, entitled: “When it comes to trans youth, we’re in danger of losing our way” by Erica Anderson
I have concerns with this one and I’ll lay them out here. 1/24
Intro: I’m nonbinary, raising a kid who came out as trans in 2014 (they're 19 now) and I’m married to a trans woman. I authored a book on affirming trans people and act as an advisor/educator on these issues, particularly in relation to trans kids and families. 2/
These are my thoughts, and I’ll back them up with facts as much as possible.
Because what I noticed, more than anything, is that this article is short on facts and big on speculation. (That being said, it was clearly positioned as an opinion piece.) 3/
Trans adults in the US are 3x more likely to experience food insecurity than their cisgender counterparts. Within this group, those most likely to go hungry are trans people of colour & those with a high school diploma or less.
I've repeatedly seen (and challenged) arguments from gender critical people who claim trans people are only "pretending to be marginalized." The stats don't support this. Across the board, in many nations, trans people face significant social, financial and medical barriers.
The premise for "claiming" marginalization is the idea among GCs that basically all trans people are older white trans women who transitioned after "building a career as men", stayed employed and are just fine.
There are so many issues with this I don't even know where to start.
Taking a break from work to talk about micro-joys for a minute - because I think we need it.
A "micro-joy" is what I call a small nugget of time in which something joyful is experienced. Since my breakdown in 2020, I've been scheduling them into my days. Here's why.
1/
Not only can it be hard some days to put aside large chunks of time for things that make us happy, but having those small bursts of joy throughout the day is good for the brain. It provides some happy hormones to break up *waves arms around* all of this happening right now.
2/
A micro-joy can be anything you want it to be with one rule: It makes you happy. That's it. So it can be watching a funny video, checking out social media accounts about puppies, chatting with a friend, drawing, dancing in the kitchen (my specialty), or just about else.
3/
I disagree with my friends on a lot of things, but we share the same core values—inclusion being one of them.
As a member of the trans community with trans family members and friends, watching others cast off our oppression as simple disagreement hurts every time.
Sometimes fighting oppression looks like: “No, Dave. I won’t perform this comedy show with you. I value our friendship a lot, but the things you’ve been saying and the way you’re responding to criticism over it is hurting people. I won’t condone it.”
Sometimes fighting oppression looks like “As someone who isn’t a member of the community most affected by this, maybe I should take a step back and listen to what the people in that community have to say, rather than share my own thoughts, so I don’t minimize what’s going on.”