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5 Jan, 4 tweets, 1 min read
πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

UK's making all sorts of great statue choices, today!
Colston 4 were just taking out the trash and making a lovely new artificial reef, don't see what the problem was

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More from @Iron_Spike

Iron Spike Profile picture
8 Jan
hey

hey everybody remember

T H E F A C E
45 years ago, the Viking 1 sent back this image of the Martian surface.

It would be thoroughly fucking unbearable to talk to A Certain Kind of Person for the next several years. Image
They connected this to everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING.

The Great Pyramids of Giza. Atlantis. UFOs/Aliens/Area 51. Psychic projection. If you believed in any kinda horseshit, the "face on Mars" proved it, and there was no convincing you otherwise.
Read 7 tweets
Iron Spike Profile picture
7 Jan
In an effort to continue my determined fuck-this-it's-Friday procrastination, AND keep talking about cars: the Carolina Squat vehicle modification was severely restricted (functionally banned in (ironically) North Carolina, in December. And I have... feelings.
For reference, this is a (admittedly, severely) squatted truck. Image
Supposedly, this mod was inspired by "trophy trucks." Those are racing trucks that compete in rally and off-road, and their fronts are elevated so their front ends don't smash into the ground when they land big jumps.

That's the story, anyway. ImageImage
Read 13 tweets
Iron Spike Profile picture
7 Jan
"Artistic Genius" does not exist. Scratch the paint and you'll find

- A small child who was enthusiastically encouraged by caregivers when they showed an interest in art
-The child of artists
-The idle rich with all the time in the world to practice
-Trolls forgiven by history.
I'm serious about that last one, too. Fauvists? Trolling. Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood? Trolling. Impressionists? Rich AND trolling. Futurists? Biggest trolls ever.
"Pft, Spike, Michelangelo carved The PietΓ  at age 24!"

Yes, after a childhood with a stonemason, extensive practice, apprenticeship at *age 13* to a master fresco painter, & instruction at a magnet school set up by the goddang Medici family.

You'd probably be pretty good, too.
Read 7 tweets
Iron Spike Profile picture
9 Dec 21
This isn’t great.
So yeah, apparently, a whole bunch of people are waiting for me to say something about this? I’m not sure what you expect me to say. Like, how long have you been following me. What do you think I’m gonna say.
I know the Hot Take Machine demanded an immediate response, but instead, I opted to actually read a bunch of shit first and try and make sense of it. In summary, I couldn’t. Not in any way that actually benefits the creatives currently using Kickstarter.
Read 9 tweets
Iron Spike Profile picture
8 Dec 21
Ha ha ha please murder me

A reprint for "Tamamo the Fox Maiden," our collection of Asian fairy tales, which they never had an issue printing before, just got rejected AFTER BEING ACCEPTED by one of our Chinese printers because it features a story about Tibet

HA HA HA
Well fuck you, we're not removing it. Kiss my ass.
Please buy this book, it pisses off China. :) amazon.com/Tamamo-Fox-Mai…
Read 4 tweets
Iron Spike Profile picture
6 Oct 21
G'morning. It's time to talk about.

πŸ‘ROYAL BUTT PROBLEMS.πŸ‘

Consider Louis XIV, Louis the Great, the Sun King, builder of Versailles, and at 72 years, 110 days, the proud titleholder of longest-reigning monarch of a sovereign country in history!

We know a LOT about his butt.
When he was still a boy, after a near-fatal childhood illness, detailed records began being kept on the health and well-being of Louis. They were faithfully updated for over SIXTY YEARS. That's why we (and his entire court, and his WHOLE KINGDOM) know about his bum trouble.
For decades on end, Louis XIV had weekly enemas to combat chronic constipation.

Now, a modern doctor would tell you that's a bad idea, and they would be right. Regular enemas can actually exacerbate that condition!

And all those enemas explain why Louis was always on the can.
Read 24 tweets

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